Would you Marry or Date someone who is not a Salsa dancer?

noobster said:
chrisk said:
A) So into what you are doing, (Salsa - because it is such a FASCINATING and sexy, exciting, and arrousing subject) that he/she wants you to teach them Salsa and you are NOT AT ALL interested in teaching them...
Click to expand...
Wait, let me get this straight. You find a person who is otherwise interesting, attractive, and compatible but who doesn't dance salsa. This person is totally excited about learning. And you are not interested in helping him/her learn to share your passion? Sorry but that is l-a-m-e and ridiculously limiting.
Click to expand...
Well, if I were in that situation, I would take him to beginners classes run by good teachers. I might take the classes with him too (but making sure we rotate partners). But I wouldn't like to be his teacher myself. I can see power dynamics and all that making it rather tricky ground to tread, especially when it's the female teaching the male.
 
Would I marry or date someone who is not a Salsa dancer?

Too late for that now! I'm getting married in two and a half weeks time and I'm not swapping my fiancée for someone who doesn't dance Salsa now! :lol:

We actually got together at the "Fiesta Latina" at a local club. The night before, after we'd arranged to meet, I taught myself the basic Salsa step so not to look a complete idiot.
We finally got round to taking lessons together a couple of months ago and are both seriously hooked.
And I'll tell you this for free .... the opening dance at our wedding sure isn't going to be a waltz! :D
 
smiling28 said:
Anyone who has taught something appreciates how it affects the relationship. It creates and IMMEDIATE power imbalance and can often lead to dependence and attachment. Feelings of inferiority and superiority may arise. Frustration plus exhaustion by teacher and student.
Click to expand...

I'm going to disagree with you here, smiling. I think the power imbalance depends on how much you teach somebody. If you teach somebody just a little bit, then it won't create an "immediate power imbalance", since the teacher-student relationship is only temporary. But if you continue having a teacher-student relationship, then it will create a power imbalance with the problems you described. So in my opinion it depends on how much you are going to teach.

Added: I just noticed that some of you talk about salsa teachers. Edie herself talked just about "hardcore salseros and salseras". So I think one should be careful not to focus to much on salsa teachers, but more on the "hardcore salsero and salsera" who's to decide if she's going to teach the other person salsa or not. While they might be a great dancer, that also doesn't mean that they are good in teaching somebody the basics of salsa dancing.
 
Salsamakossa said:
I am with Noobster on this one. And in general, I think you should date whoever you get on with. Salsa is just like any other passion - football, baseball, skiing, etc. It would be unwise to base a potential relationship on whether or not a partner shares your passion or not. This is not to say that it would not work at all, because for some people it seems to work, but it is just err limiting.
Click to expand...

I agree that one should not limit oneself to other dancers. However I disagree that salsa is just like other passions. Salsa (as well as other dance styles) is flirty and sexy and requires close contact with the opposite sex. And we often dance salsa in night clubs where people are trying to meet other people. Even though we understand that it's about the dance, a non-dancer may not. It would be unwise not to consider the feelings of a prospective romantic partner.

Think how different the following situations are:

1) I pull on a pair of baggy shorts and a tank top. Grab my gym bag and yell, "See ya, Honey. I'm meetin' the guys to shoot some hoops. I'll be back before dinner. When I get back I'll take you out."

2) I shower and shave. I pull on a pair of designer jeans and a cool looking buttoned down shirt. I spray on some cologne, grab the breath mints and yell, "See ya, Honey. I'm off to Havana Club to dance with a lot of pretty women. When we dance, it'll look real sexy, but I'll be thinking of you the whole time. I'll probably be home by 1am or 2am so I'll try not to wake you when I get in."
 
GTO Bruin said:
2) I shower and shave. I pull on a pair of designer jeans and a cool looking buttoned down shirt. I spray on some cologne, grab the breath mints and yell, "See ya, Honey. I'm off to Havana Club to dance with a lot of pretty women. When we dance, it'll look real sexy, but I'll be thinking of you the whole time. I'll probably be home by 1am or 2am so I'll try not to wake you when I get in."
Click to expand...

Actually it is quite exact, but in the morning I also say: "Please don't forget to wash my jeans and shirts I wear at dancing!" ;)
 
Some excellent point, pro and con. My 2 cents is to hope for the best, either way. I've dated guys from the studio and seeing them after the break ups was hard and uncomfortable (mainly for me?). Typically, you break up with someone and you don't see them again. But, in the salsa scene, which can be small at times, it's hard - at least for me.

When I started dancing, I thought how perfect it would be to meet/date someone who shares the passion. But, after some failed attempts at dating people from the scene, I think I would prefer to meet/date someone from outside the scene. Now, I know that in itself is challenging. I hear some of my classmates speak about how hard it is to get away to dance b/c their SOs want them home. But, they manage to work it out, so..... Latest disappointment - the guy I was seeing end of the year is now dating someone from the studio. Gee, there is something I don't need to see! :cry:

:cheers: To hoping for the best with the next attempt (out of the scene).
 
miércoles said:
Would I marry or date someone who is not a Salsa dancer?

Too late for that now! I'm getting married in two and a half weeks time and I'm not swapping my fiancée for someone who doesn't dance Salsa now! :lol:

We actually got together at the "Fiesta Latina" at a local club. The night before, after we'd arranged to meet, I taught myself the basic Salsa step so not to look a complete idiot.
We finally got round to taking lessons together a couple of months ago and are both seriously hooked.
And I'll tell you this for free .... the opening dance at our wedding sure isn't going to be a waltz! :D
Click to expand...


WOW!!!

WELCOME AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST EVER!!!

:banana::banana::banana: :friend::friend::friend: :banana::banana::banana:


* not to be all sentimental but I WOULD LOVE A WEDDING WITH BEAUTIFUL DANCING!!!

My dream is bachata with my wife oneday and a salsa rueda with all my guests at a wedding if I am that fortunate :)

Oh, and you are ALL invited for the rueda :) :) :)
 
When I started dancing, I thought how perfect it would be to meet/date someone who shares the passion. But, after some failed attempts at dating people from the scene, I think I would prefer to meet/date someone from outside the scene. Now, I know that in itself is challenging. I hear some of my classmates speak about how hard it is to get away to dance b/c their SOs want them home. But, they manage to work it out, so..... Latest disappointment - the guy I was seeing end of the year is now dating someone from the studio. Gee, there is something I don't need to see! :cry:
Click to expand...

It can be tough. I feel your pain. You are a MUCH better person for and through your experiences though. At least you know you are a passionate person who gave of yourself. So you hurt, but you loved. So when you meet someone who appreciates you then LOOKOUT :) :) :)

Happy times ahead!!!


dancing_princess said:
:cheers: To hoping for the best with the next attempt (out of the scene).
Click to expand...

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
:kissme: :kissme: :kissme: :kissme: :kissme: :kissme:
:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
 
I'm going to disagree with you here, smiling. I think the power imbalance depends on how much you teach somebody. If you teach somebody just a little bit, then it won't create an "immediate power imbalance", since the teacher-student relationship is only temporary. But if you continue having a teacher-student relationship, then it will create a power imbalance with the problems you described. So in my opinion it depends on how much you are going to teach.
Click to expand...

Well said!

Depends on individuals. When I think teaching, I am imagining hardcore training as I guess that is what I want to help best express myself. Some people are actually just wonderful dances from their experiences (naturals which to me means they have been exposed directly or indirectly to dance influences already)
 
This is an interesting discussion.

For a long while I personally have been absolutely against dating someone on the salsa scene – especially someone in from the same school. (Please note I am referring to my own actions, not the actions of others – who can do whatever they want, clearly.) Salsa to me is pure fun and I didn’t want to potentially taint it with causal or even serious relationships. When I go out dancing I really don’t want to have to worry about some drama or past issues- I just want to dance.

Now, as for what Edie supposedly said, well, what do you expect from someone called “the Salsa Freak”? She has a great site and I love her salsa commentary, but it is clear that she lives, breathes, eats and sleeps salsa – and good for her! But the idea that a salsa enthusiast HAS to date / marry another is a bit disconcerting. I mean, just imagine if 2 years from now one of the couple decides that she/he wants to dance Tango or Swing and the other isn’t interested. Does that mean that they should break up or get divorced? Of course not because hopefully their relationship is based on more than just a love for dancing.

Anyway, I am presently dating a learning salsera and admit that it is sometimes tough to deal with the skill differential – not that I am still not learning every time I step on the floor or a class… For example, she has a very bad (and dangerous) habit of beginning to cross the slot on the 1 – and I am really afraid that I am going to hit her face with my elbow if I put her threw a “window”. (I have figured out that this is why I have hit 3 women in the past (over a 1.5 yr period) with my window – they walked into it by rushing their cross body lead. Beginners take note!) She is going to learn and I am going to try to help her best I can (with out being too critical) – but the fact of the matter is that I dance 99% of the time with other women; so the fact that I am dating her doesn’t really impact my dance life.

There are a lot of qualities I look for in a girlfriend and the ability to be flexible, understanding and willing to learn far outweighs simple pure dancing skills.
 
memito said:
This is an interesting discussion.

For a long while I personally have been absolutely against dating someone on the salsa scene – especially someone in from the same school. (Please note I am referring to my own actions, not the actions of others – who can do whatever they want, clearly.) Salsa to me is pure fun and I didn’t want to potentially taint it with causal or even serious relationships. When I go out dancing I really don’t want to have to worry about some drama or past issues- I just want to dance.

Now, as for what Edie supposedly said, well, what do you expect from someone called “the Salsa Freak”? She has a great site and I love her salsa commentary, but it is clear that she lives, breathes, eats and sleeps salsa – and good for her! But the idea that a salsa enthusiast HAS to date / marry another is a bit disconcerting. I mean, just imagine if 2 years from now one of the couple decides that she/he wants to dance Tango or Swing and the other isn’t interested. Does that mean that they should break up or get divorced? Of course not because hopefully their relationship is based on more than just a love for dancing.

Anyway, I am presently dating a learning salsera and admit that it is sometimes tough to deal with the skill differential – not that I am still not learning every time I step on the floor or a class… For example, she has a very bad (and dangerous) habit of beginning to cross the slot on the 1 – and I am really afraid that I am going to hit her face with my elbow if I put her threw a “window”. (I have figured out that this is why I have hit 3 women in the past (over a 1.5 yr period) with my window – they walked into it by rushing their cross body lead. Beginners take note!) She is going to learn and I am going to try to help her best I can (with out being too critical) – but the fact of the matter is that I dance 99% of the time with other women; so the fact that I am dating her doesn’t really impact my dance life.

There are a lot of qualities I look for in a girlfriend and the ability to be flexible, understanding and willing to learn far outweighs simple pure dancing skills.
Click to expand...


GREAT POST!!!

Every dance, every partner has their own magic!!! Sometimes it is the moves, sometimes the connection and hopefully everything sometimes too :)

I think that in your situation, you should enjoy the dances for what they are. Passionate connection and sharing. Not technical performance. Dance with others for that technical satisfaction or just perfect your basics and try and find really interesting ways to jazz up simple things :) :) :) A facial expression can change the entire impression of a move (eg. blank stare vs smile vs frown vs a million funny faces to think of)

Hmmm, monitoring this thread closely I am (as yoda would say). Perhaps hope I seek..............


:) :) :)
 
smiling28 said:
WOW!!!

WELCOME AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST EVER!!!
Click to expand...

Thank you!

Love the idea of the rueda with all the guests. We won't manage that I'm afraid but we are having one of our friends, who is a dance instructor, give the guests a crash course in the basic step so everyone can join in a bit with the Salsa.
 
miércoles said:
smiling28 said:
WOW!!!

WELCOME AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEST EVER!!!
Click to expand...

Thank you!

Love the idea of the rueda with all the guests. We won't manage that I'm afraid but we are having one of our friends, who is a dance instructor, give the guests a crash course in the basic step so everyone can join in a bit with the Salsa.
Click to expand...


THE BEST I TELL YOU!!! Everyone involved, smiling

AWESOME

*can I come.........

:) :) :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top