Would you Marry or Date someone who is not a Salsa dancer?

[SalsaManiac]

Has this happened to anyone else but me? That a non-dancing partner found it offensive that you went out socialdancing?

That was the primary issue I had with my ex which is one of the reasons she is an ex now ... she could not believe that one can dance simply for the sake of the dance. It did not matter that I invited her to go dancing several times .. she believed what she wanted and that was that.

 

[Lilith]

Yup, this sounds all too familiar to me -- my non-dancing ex really hated my social dancing. It's one of the reasons why he's now my ex.

So stupid. The guy I dated wasn't jealous at all up until I started socialdancing. It was as if he suddenly realised when I started going out that I was actually dancing with other men. :shock:

 

[Lilith]

My wife will go dancing with me, but is offended if I want to dance with anyone but her.

That must be somewhat frustrating.

 

[Lilith]

That was the primary issue I had with my ex which is one of the reasons she is an ex now ... she could not believe that one can dance simply for the sake of the dance. It did not matter that I invited her to go dancing several times .. she believed what she wanted and that was that.

You would think that someone would feel better if they were invited to see for themselves. Didn't work for me either though. Stubborn people.

 

[SnowDancer]

My wife will go dancing with me, but is offended if I want to dance with anyone but her.

That must be somewhat frustrating.

Yes. I've tried some tricks for getting her to dance with other guys, like making frequent trips to the bathroom , or finding another couple I knew from classes and arranging a 'swap' for one dance.

 

[giglet]

Slight update. I have been dating this man for a while now, on and off. He's complicated, and so am i. We are opposite and yet so farmiliar.

Thing is, i know that if things went horribly wrong (which happens often with dating) it would be difficult for me to go places i know he sometimes shows up at.
That's normally why i've always been so consistent in NEVER dating someone on the scene.
Yet, he is NOT a dancer.

Just a wait and see game.

~Giglet~

 

[La Bailarina Nueva]

Slight update. I have been dating this man for a while now, on and off. He's complicated, and so am i. We are opposite and yet so farmiliar.

Thing is, i know that if things went horribly wrong (which happens often with dating) it would be difficult for me to go places i know he sometimes shows up at.
That's normally why i've always been so consistent in NEVER dating someone on the scene.
Yet, he is NOT a dancer.

Just a wait and see game.

~Giglet~

I guess the best solution would be to hope for the best, but if things don't work out, break up on good terms for a change. THen you can keep him as a dance partner, but not as a flame.

 

[smiling28]

Slight update. I have been dating this man for a while now, on and off. He's complicated, and so am i. We are opposite and yet so farmiliar.

Thing is, i know that if things went horribly wrong (which happens often with dating) it would be difficult for me to go places i know he sometimes shows up at.
That's normally why i've always been so consistent in NEVER dating someone on the scene.
Yet, he is NOT a dancer.

Just a wait and see game.

~Giglet~

Just enjoy the moment!

Have fun

 

[{WuMing}78]

For me, I also have up and downs on the people I date in the salsa scene, specially the last one..... because we virtually see each other everyday. I have no choice, but to put on a mask everyday till I am less sentiemental about it

However, I don't think I should stop dating someone from the salsa scene just because of one or two bad relationships. Simply because I love dancing salsa and if I were to date someone who didn't like to date, life would be very bad. Just that when I meet that girl, I make sure that both of us are open-minded, so that I can still dance with a lot of hot chicks, and she can dance with a lot of able hunks, and still be able to love each other everyday.....

 

[Lilith]

Yes. I've tried some tricks for getting her to dance with other guys, like making frequent trips to the bathroom , or finding another couple I knew from classes and arranging a 'swap' for one dance.

Clever!

 

[sweavo]

Yes. I've tried some tricks for getting her to dance with other guys, like making frequent trips to the bathroom , or finding another couple I knew from classes and arranging a 'swap' for one dance.

Clever!

Ditto! I'll have to use this tactic.

 

[salsachinita]

Yes. I've tried some tricks for getting her to dance with other guys, like making frequent trips to the bathroom , or finding another couple I knew from classes and arranging a 'swap' for one dance.

Clever!

Ditto! I'll have to use this tactic.

While I find this tactic useful, there simply arn't that many couples in our scene to do that with :roll: ......

 

[salsera_alemana]

Having a husband who is as passionate as I am about dancing is one of the greatest things in my life. However I have always told myself that as much as dancing together is great, our relationship does not depend on dancing. In other words, if either of us never took another dance step again, we would still find a way to be happy.

I second this! It is a total blessing! I have always loved dancing and have always been - subconsciously - on the lookout for a dancer, even before salsa. But there were only very few good leads around in my pre-salsa times and I always thought I would have to settle for a non-dancer until I consciously decided that I cannot.

When in the salsa scene I had the same concerns that many of you have about dating in a small scene: the gossip, the break-ups etc. So I enjoyed my dancing but kept my emotional distance, at least tried to, hehe. However, sometimes you have to take risks, I was not a risk taker, either, when it came to relationships. All this to tell you that I have been there ...

However, I took a big risk and leap of faith with my now husband (who was very persistent and finally convinced me to take this risk), whom I met in the salsa scene, he is a great dancer and for the past 14 years we have shared this hobby. I am so grateful because my life is just so enriched. Dancing (salsa) is my passion. And we salseros live in a totally different world as our non salsa friends, so it can be quite lonely when you cannot share your greatest passion with your love. For me and my husband, going out dancing salsa is spending quality time together! A great salsa night is sooo good for the relationship. We have travelled different countries and wherever we go, we go and check out the salsa clubs (Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Belgium, Paris, Spain, Italy, Romania, Puerto Rico, different places in the US).

IMO it IS really important in a relationship to share at least one hobby or interest. It is also very important to share the same basic values, that is apart from dancing. Without that the relationship will not work.

 

[smiling28]

Having a husband who is as passionate as I am about dancing is one of the greatest things in my life. However I have always told myself that as much as dancing together is great, our relationship does not depend on dancing. In other words, if either of us never took another dance step again, we would still find a way to be happy.

I second this! It is a total blessing! I have always loved dancing and have always been - subconsciously - on the lookout for a dancer, even before salsa. But there were only very few good leads around in my pre-salsa times and I always thought I would have to settle for a non-dancer until I consciously decided that I cannot.

When in the salsa scene I had the same concerns that many of you have about dating in a small scene: the gossip, the break-ups etc. So I enjoyed my dancing but kept my emotional distance, at least tried to, hehe. However, sometimes you have to take risks, I was not a risk taker, either, when it came to relationships. All this to tell you that I have been there ...

However, I took a big risk and leap of faith with my now husband (who was very persistent and finally convinced me to take this risk), whom I met in the salsa scene, he is a great dancer and for the past 14 years we have shared this hobby. I am so grateful because my life is just so enriched. Dancing (salsa) is my passion. And we salseros live in a totally different world as our non salsa friends, so it can be quite lonely when you cannot share your greatest passion with your love. For me and my husband, going out dancing salsa is spending quality time together! A great salsa night is sooo good for the relationship. We have travelled different countries and wherever we go, we go and check out the salsa clubs (Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Belgium, Paris, Spain, Italy, Romania, Puerto Rico, different places in the US).

IMO it IS really important in a relationship to share at least one hobby or interest. It is also very important to share the same basic values, that is apart from dancing. Without that the relationship will not work.

Thanks for putting my dream into words!

Well done!

 

[dancing_princess]

This is a great topic. Since I've started dancing, I've only dated (a few serious, a few just a date here and there) guys from my studio(s). It stunk once things ended b/c it was always uncomfortable to see the guy again and I didn't want to see him again/them. So, as much as I would love to date/marry a salsero, I'm very apprehensive and feel I would prefer a non-salsero/dancer. I mean, the salsa world is small (in your town, that is) and you will keep seeing the person after a breakup.

On the other hand, some of the stories I read in this tread scared me - the ones about the SO not liking the partner's commitment to dance and that causing a prob.

As if dating and mating wasn't hard enough!! :cry:

 

[smiling28]

This is a great topic. Since I've started dancing, I've only dated (a few serious, a few just a date here and there) guys from my studio(s). It stunk once things ended b/c it was always uncomfortable to see the guy again and I didn't want to see him again/them. So, as much as I would love to date/marry a salsero, I'm very apprehensive and feel I would prefer a non-salsero/dancer. I mean, the salsa world is small (in your town, that is) and you will keep seeing the person after a breakup.

On the other hand, some of the stories I read in this tread scared me - the ones about the SO not liking the partner's commitment to dance and that causing a prob.

As if dating and mating wasn't hard enough!! :cry:

Anyone with the name dancing princess clearly is someone I would date

You know, I think the same thing as you above about the risk of things turning sour.

BUT thinking about this more, I do not believe we should be thinking about the negative when entering the positive state of a relationship. Yes, being aware of it. But surely a quality partner is sooooo good that they are WORTH RISKS! I mean lets be honest. Breakups are never that much fun in any scenario and if we thought about them too much we would NEVER enter relationships. But time heals wounds (or at least allows you to forget them long enough to make new ones....ha ha)


So to myself and others, I say be aware but just like in dancing. Do not think. Be in the moment. Be open to your soul and others and perhaps then we can truly make magic on this planet. Let love guide us not fear hold us!



I would hate to see the future of dating in dancing to be dancing pre-relationship agreements with in the event of a breakup, visitations to dance nights are split between the two as are dance friends......................

 

[dancing_princess]

Anyone with the name dancing princess clearly is someone I would date

You know, it's too bad you live Down Under. lol

I would hate to see the future of dating in dancing to be dancing pre-relationship agreements with in the event of a breakup, visitations to dance nights are split between the two as are dance friends......................

Excellent point. And I've felt this way; actually wanted to split the studio and club into his and hers. lol.

It's hard to know if someone is "worth" the risk up on meeting them and when you figure it out, emotions were invested. Duh well..... If it doesn't kill ya, it will only make you stronger....right?

 

[chrisk]

It's hard to know if someone is "worth" the risk up on meeting them and when you figure it out, emotions were invested. Duh well..... If it doesn't kill ya, it will only make you stronger....right?

There's no way that will definitely tell you if something is worth the risk. But in my experience it helped me to listen to my intuition. So I still respect the feelings in my heart and the thoughts if it might work out or not. But finally my intution keeps a nice balance between them and so far helped me in making the right decisions. So I would suggest to listen to your intuition as well if it's worth taking the risk or not. And as you already wrote, you will either get stronger or will have a the kind of relationship some of us would love to have.

 

[Jag75]

Good to know I'm not the only Aussie on these forums!

I've always felt a bit strange with the idea of dating someone from within salsa - I probably think too much about the awkwardness that would be faced if we broke up and it was a nasty one...

Then there's the other difficulty where dating someone from outside salsa would create problems whereby I'm dancing with too many other girls (some moves close) and that would get my partner jealous, and my partner would probably get tired of my obsession with salsa... you can't win!

 

[smiling28]

Anyone with the name dancing princess clearly is someone I would date

You know, it's too bad you live Down Under. lol

I would hate to see the future of dating in dancing to be dancing pre-relationship agreements with in the event of a breakup, visitations to dance nights are split between the two as are dance friends......................

Excellent point. And I've felt this way; actually wanted to split the studio and club into his and hers. lol.

It's hard to know if someone is "worth" the risk up on meeting them and when you figure it out, emotions were invested. Duh well..... If it doesn't kill ya, it will only make you stronger....right?

replied to this but must not have appeared. Anyway, I have salsa shoes and will travel... ha ha.

I think take it slowly and build gradually just like music and a dance. The worst that can happen is generally in your mind and not your reality!