Within 5 minutes ? What do you say
Or you are only talking about potential dates?
Married and Dancing without Spouse
- Thread starter David
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Within 5 minutes ? What do you say
Or you are only talking about potential dates?
Sabrosura
Son Montuno
Within 5 minutes ? What do you say
It goes like this:
"What are you doing on Friday?"
"Salsa dancing"
"What about the following weekend?"
"Going to [insert city] for a salsa congress"
And so on
But that has NOTHING at all to do with dancing.
All people may not be committed all the time. But there are enough people who stay in a committed relationship no matter what the temptations. There is no universal rule to anything. Every time you make a rule, there is an exception. The last itself kind of contradicts itself!
Every individual and every relationship is different.
And "never say never" tends to be a pretty accurate description of human behavior.
And there are always exceptions (although this in itself negates the existence of any "rules" there could be exceptions to).
Live and let live.
Wrote mine before I read this and am now laughing.
Sabrosura
Son Montuno
First define 'love' then we can talk about 'falling in love'
What is normally thrown around as 'love' can be attraction at physical level, emotional level or mental level or perhaps all of them or some other level. You would know better since you seem to be better educated about it Is it cheating only if you physically act or is it also cheating if you only fantasize about someone else ?
At this rate we will end up proving that no one is immune.That is not the point. Everyone can get attracted or whatever at some point of time. The question is how many will act on the impulse. Or more pertinent how much do you trust your partner to act on such an impulse. [/quote]
This I disagree with that it will more likely to happen in 'salsa' community. The likelyhood probably increases with increase in number of opportunities. Then it doesn't matter whether those opportunities present themselves at salsa or love parade or at a church service.
Yes. Parts of your conclusions can be rebuked
And science can't be used to explain everything about human behaviour.
TwoCentsTipper
Son
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen! This discussion is closed....
Wow this was extremely enlightening. I could not see how I can respond to this one... Good job!All these examples are simply meant to show the complexity of human attraction and romantic bonding and that things are rarely "black and white" even when we think we have the full right to "judge" or declare that "we are right/good people and they are wrong/bad people".
We can go ahead and judge some or all of these non-monogamous behaviors, but perhaps it is monogamy itself that should be "judged". I am not advocating for either pro- or anti-monogamy, simply trying to provide some food for thought
And in fact, one school of thought in the field of evolutionary biology hypothesizes that, despite modern cliche romantic comedies in which the woman dreams of marriage all her life, "marriage" may have come about not because women wanted to be assured of their partner's faithfulness, but because it was the men who wanted to be sure their children were really theirs so they used "marriage" to accomplish this (along with controlling women's lives and denying them the freedoms that men enjoyed).
I leave you with the following article presenting the "facts". (Especially if you've always wondered why you look nothing like your father)
Using evolutionary biology to explain human behavior is very fascinating and interesting. And for every well thought out scientific study you can cite in support of something, you can find an equally well thought out one showing the opposite. Except none of it helps with practicalities of life. It sure serves useful purpose of making an argument.
Regarding monogamy, I don't believe at any point society thought it was a natural state for people. Perhaps that is why it was and is practiced. Because it is some form of self-restraint or self-discipline. Otherwise what is there to prevent anyone of us from acting on an impulse of a very strong attraction to another person..
Biology, Psychology, Social norms and mores, all make it a very heady mix, in which it is very difficult to separate one from the other.
In the end, one human institution that is almost universal across all cultures and biology is marriage or its equivalent. Except for a very few exceptions. Which is very surprising because everything about marriage (even polygamous, or polyandry which hardly exists) works against all the reasons of not having to stay with same people for a lifetime. Yes it is an institution that has survived last 5000 years of human civilization. If you think of every other institution from slavery to monarchy, have all fallen apart. Which makes it even more amazing. I am sure current statistics in parts of the world might suggest otherwise. But a few decades of statistics aren't enough to disprove an arc of time tested institution that has appeared to work.
Cheating on your partner was and has been always considered a wrong thing in all societies and cultures. May be there is an evolutionary biological explanation on why cheating is considered wrong and not something that should be natural given our instincts
Sabrosura
Son Montuno
Marriage is going the same way as male control over women--as women have become "liberated" over the past few decades, fewer and fewer are choosing to get married. I'd be willing to bet that the rate of marriage is going to continue to steadily decrease over the next few decades.
TwoCentsTipper
Son
First define 'love' then we can talk about 'falling in love'
Is it cheating only if you physically act or is it also cheating if you only fantasize about someone else ?
That is not the point. Everyone can get attracted or whatever at some point of time. The question is how many will act on the impulse. Or more pertinent how much do you trust your partner to act on such an impulse.
I understand how you want to strut your stuff but boy that was lame. If you bothered to read my reply somewhere in those lines you would surely find something about me saying not necessary cheating. You seem to concentrate only on the cheating part but ignored a sh**load of other stuff which discussed. I recommend you read Sabrosura's very well articulated monogamy section to get a glimpse on the complexities of relationships. Even that is but a small scratch on the surface.
How many partners do you come across a night with whom you can have an opportunity to chat and touch when you go salsa dancing? A week? A Month? A year , two? um? You must have failed math miserably when you were in college.
I'm still waiting!Yes. Parts of your conclusions can be rebuked
Not yet, but we're getting darn close to it. You would know that If you bothered to read some scientific and psychological magazines
I am willing to take that bet (may be I should start rooting for conservatives worldwide). I find the idea of controlling a woman very appealing
Why else you think I dance? Alas Salsa is the last refuge for a man to lead woman and for a woman to follow her man We need to meet again in 2512 to see which one of us is right. Hopefully salsa would have still survived
Let the wise cracks begin...
Sabrosura
Son Montuno
I am willing to take that bet (may be I should start rooting for conservatives worldwide)
We need to meet again in 2512 to see which one of us is right. Hopefully salsa would still have survived
No need to wait that long--I said "a few decades".
2053 The main reason women had to get married in the past was because they couldn't afford to support themselves on their own due to society norms at the time. Now that this is no longer an issue, we can expect more and more women to decide to stay single.
Not yet, but we're getting darn close to it. You would know that If you bothered to read some scientific and psychological magazines
I rather read salsaforums. At least it is more entertaining
No need to wait that long--I said "a few decades".
The main reason women had to get married in the past was because they couldn't afford to support themselves on their own due to society norms at the time. Now that this is no longer an issue, we can expect more and more women to decide to stay single.
You are too trigger happy. Read again what I said
I went in to the future and came back. Happy to say I won the bet. Please wire me the money. And no, wiring it to 2053 or 2513 is not acceptable
I understand how you want to strut your stuff but boy that was lame. If you bothered to read my reply somewhere in those lines you would surely find something about me saying not necessary cheating. You seem to concentrate only on the cheating part but ignored a sh**load of other stuff which discussed. I recommend you read Sabrosura's very well articulated monogamy section to get a glimpse on the complexities of relationships. Even that is but a small scratch on the surface.
You must have failed math miserably when you were in college.
Not yet, but we're getting darn close to it. You would know that If you bothered to read some scientific and psychological magazines
Sure sign that you need to withdraw honourably when you start attacking the one making an argument instead of the arguments themselves
P.S. - Sabro already lost one bet!
Sabrosura
Son Montuno
You are too trigger happy. Read again what I said
Yeah I did, I stand by what I said. 2053. What do you want to bet on?
TwoCentsTipper
Son
And you know that none of them is cheating because.....? Oh I forgot that us humans he have telepathic abilities. We can tell by just looking at their faces.
Of course we all knew that Tiger woods was cheating his ass off every time we saw him putting a hole. Even before the news broke, we looked at this guy as he was driving and we told our selves : "Oh yeah! this guy is cheating his ass off."
Dave, I do understand the noble part of the commitment and relationship and believe it or not I do value it. Sadly that is not how it is going these days. The whole definition of relationship is being re-written as we speak. Not so long ago people got married because they wanted to create their own small communities (families) and ensure their continuity and preserving their genes. Little they cared about love and commitment they always said that these things would come later. Today, people get married because they want to be in love. This has been a MAJOR factor in driving the divorce rate up and the birth rates down. People choose to live in communal law not because they want to save on lawyer fees but because it makes is that easier to break the relation and move on to the next one. People might argue that lawyers are expensive, but If both parties agree an pain free divorce it could be done as easily as removing a band aid.