You guys are good. I know plenty of dudes that stop asking after 1 rejection.
Leader's blacklist
- Thread starter Offbeat
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You guys are good. I know plenty of dudes that stop asking after 1 rejection.
That's easy enough for both parties to resolve. I guess for some a sticking point is who does the asking after a rejection.
Being too tired is a legitimate excuse. I turned down a dance when I felt that one more dance would cause a huge cramp as my ankle started to get tight and I could feel it coming but I had no time to explain myself and just said 'I need a break sorry'. I had the feeling that the dance would have been great, but I was done. I spent the next 30 minutes sitting down unable to move my ankle. I don't regret turning that person down as it would have resulted in an injury.
But I have PTSD since I remember once I had a hamstring cramp during a dance due to overdoing it and being dehydrated (and lacking electrolytes) and it was the worst pain imaginable. I'd never experienced a hamstring cramp before and I just stood there unable to move for the next 10 minutes, my leg locked in place but in excruciating pain as staying motionless didn't help at all (unlike a calf muscle cramp). That experience told me to always take frequent breaks and also refill on electrolytes before and after the party.
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Google translates me hamstring cramp and calf muscle cramp as the same, so not sure what difference you mean - anyway it normally helps to pull with hands at the feet (like soccer pros do) or move the leg into a different position instead of just staying motionless? I can imagine the pain can become unbearable if it stays as it is for a longer time.
For some ladies it seems unthinkable to ever go asking, they seem to prefer dying instead of asking. So if she rejected me three times she's out of the game forever. In some cases I felt it wasn't intentionally by her, it just happened by badluck, but I need to protect myself for not becoming a fool, so if she's unable to ask back by herself one time she should learn to remember rejections and control it: a third time she shouldn't reject by all means if she wants to stay friends. That's not demanding too much.
Sometimes a friend comes asking me and I don't like the song or feel somewhat tired, but if I like her I agree because I know it is difficult to go ask her later - you need to search her and find a moment she's available, which can become a hazzle, and if I don't ask her later she may think I'm avoiding her and bad vibes may result, so I agree mostly with friends. But with unknowns I excuse myself if I need a rest.
Definitely not the same muscle group. The calf muscle is behind the leg just above the ankle. Frequent cramping in this area is common and is sometimes referred to as Charliehorses. The hamstring is a group of larger muscles sitting beneath the glutes on the upper part of the leg.
With a calf muscle cramp, standing up and straightening the leg will usually stop the pain immediately. But that same technique doesn't seem to work with an upper leg (hamstring) cramp.
People handle rejection differently. If one choses events were they think the ratio will be in their favor, it could be a better experience. But I understand why guys don't ask women to dance who already said no. I think I also understand why it doesn't matter to many women.
Calf cramps yeah that or just pulling the toes of your feet up with your hands, or stepping on the edge of a stair and letting your weight push your ankles down.
Hamstring cramps only relief I get is just pushing hard with my fingers and massaging the knot loose.
I don't really play any sports anymore so I don't have to worry about cramps though. Never cramped up dancing, all my issues with dance are joint and tendon issues, not muscular.
desconocida
Son
You should recalibrate your google then
Calf = Wade
Hamstring = Ischiocrurale (Oberschenkelrückseite)
I can relate to your trauma. I have experienced hamstring cramps on both legs simultaneously, more than once, also when I had already gone to sleep... that pain is horrific! Thought I was the only one.
Bostontraitor
Son
I tend to think having a blacklist for both leaders and followers makes sense. It saves time and avoids awkward moments, especially for leaders.
In my city, there are five followers I won’t ask again. I’ve never talked with them, danced with them, or known them outside the club. Let me repeat. I had no contact with them before. Still, they turned me down at least three times each, and one person did it five times.
I understand some people only dance with guys they already know. One of them dances with many different level dancers, which is why I asked more than three times. At some point, though, it stops making sense to keep trying.
So I move on and keep my distance on the dance floor. I see right through them or beyond them. Dancing feels better when you know who to avoid.
In my city, there are five followers I won’t ask again. I’ve never talked with them, danced with them, or known them outside the club. Let me repeat. I had no contact with them before. Still, they turned me down at least three times each, and one person did it five times.
I understand some people only dance with guys they already know. One of them dances with many different level dancers, which is why I asked more than three times. At some point, though, it stops making sense to keep trying.
So I move on and keep my distance on the dance floor. I see right through them or beyond them. Dancing feels better when you know who to avoid.
Some would label this the definition of insanity, lol. Just joking. You're a better man than I. I'm very petty but I can understand if you're in a small scene how that changes the dynamic.
Just to pile on off-topic, I've never had worse pain without injury as hamstring/calve cramps after salsa that lasted several hours. I was tired before I went to dances.
Cramps never returned, but now I make sure to drink and eat on regular basis, if extended dancing is planned. Also stretch often.
I call myself lucky I never had cramps so bad. From time to time some minor cramp in my foot sole mostly when changing shoes which goes away when I pull the toes.
Two years back I developed shin splint pain in my lower legs - I didn't even know that exists, had never heard of. That was after I discovered intensive shines dancing on the balls of my feet, which was fun but my shinbone area wasn't trained for it: body reacts with pain. So I reduced that and got more prudent. On some mambo festivals DJs play twenty guaguancos in a row each having a piano solo where normally doing shines fits well - but after the third song with piano solo I refuse doing more exhausting shines and just do something boring to protect myself.
1derpalm
Son Montuno
I have:
never ask again list
Only once per night list
Only once per month list
Song too fast list
My never ask list is a mix of justified and quite petty and arbitrary. And it's growing. Especially in the petty and arbitrary categories. I wonder if it's a sign of a need for an extended break.
never ask again list
Only once per night list
Only once per month list
Song too fast list
My never ask list is a mix of justified and quite petty and arbitrary. And it's growing. Especially in the petty and arbitrary categories. I wonder if it's a sign of a need for an extended break.
Bostontraitor
Son
I don’t ask more than twice in one night. There are plenty of followers in my city, so I try not to take it personally. Still, it’s hard not to take it personally when someone dances with everyone except me. lol
Bostontraitor
Son
The more you dance, the more your skill grows. You gain more options, your patience drops, and you have less time for each follower's bs.
Otterpotter
Changui
So just to clarify...Petty and arbitrary are two separate categories?! ;-)'
I just stopped asking entirely. Seemed like the natural evolution.