Anymore thoughts on this one? Teremoto also has one in the active topics on this subject. See :arrow: Nondancing lovers vs. Salsa lovers
Would you Marry or Date someone who is not a Salsa dancer?
- Thread starter peachexploration
- Start date
I have to say that if I wasn't hooked up already and was looking for a significant other now I wouldn't even consider dating a non dancer. The biggest issue in my relationship is the amount of time I spend focused on Salsa....hoping this might change though. Other half took their first lesson last night! They were so bouncy and excited afterwards...and are coming to my other class on Tuesday too! This might be the turnaround I've been hoping for.
Bottom line is they have to dance because I couldn't stop if I wanted to!
I only meet people at salsa these days 
I'd never get to know a woman in the real-world !
I'd never get to know a woman in the real-world !ive been with my bf for nearly 4 years and he doesnt dance, but he likes coming to watch me dance. Hes thinking of starting classes and that makes me happy but it wouldnt change anything if he decided not to. we still make it work with or without sharing a love for salsa as long as we share love for each other theres not a problem.
Having a husband who is as passionate as I am about dancing is one of the greatest things in my life. However I have always told myself that as much as dancing together is great, our relationship does not depend on dancing. In other words, if either of us never took another dance step again, we would still find a way to be happy.
Actually.......
I might be one of the few who would prefer not to date someone in the salsa scene. Like one of the posters said earlier, when it doesn't work out, you will still bump into each other from time to time at clubs, socials, etc. Plus the salsa community is pretty close-knit, so word travels fast. For me it would be like in Seinfeld with the episode about Relationship George vs. Independent George.
"WORLDS WOULD BE COLLIDING!!!!"
:shock:
I might be one of the few who would prefer not to date someone in the salsa scene. Like one of the posters said earlier, when it doesn't work out, you will still bump into each other from time to time at clubs, socials, etc. Plus the salsa community is pretty close-knit, so word travels fast. For me it would be like in Seinfeld with the episode about Relationship George vs. Independent George.
"WORLDS WOULD BE COLLIDING!!!!"
:shock:
Ron Obvious
Son
Agree. So in essence: I wouldn't (or shouldn't because I have) date people from salsa scene, but on the contrary I would prefer the girl that I marry to dance salsa.
sagitta
Changui
I would - both marry and date - I would be fine with someone who is into one of the other dances...WCS or AT or cha cha cha. Both dances that I've done a teeny bit and like. ;-)
Also if I have the freedom to go dancing I would be fine with a non-dancer. I can enjoy moving to music with someone without it being a particular dance, as long as it is partner dancing. I'm not a soloist.
Also if I have the freedom to go dancing I would be fine with a non-dancer. I can enjoy moving to music with someone without it being a particular dance, as long as it is partner dancing. I'm not a soloist.
I would prefer to date either a salsera or at least a girl who wants to learn and dance salsa. I'ld love to go dancing every weekend (Sadly it's not really possible for me currently) or travel to a congress. So I guess this would rather become a source of conflict with a non-dancer. I'm well aware about the problems of dating in the salsa-scene, but I'm willing to risk it. As I would never give up a salsa for any girl.
quixotedlm
Changui
So I'm starting to think that dating someone as seriously into salsa as I am might be a risk... every day I go to dance in fear of seeing her there - and I can't get over her because I have to see her at dances... and it just sucks. Moving on is very painful and slow... and public.
Still, I can't imagine dating a non-dancers. Those are just non-starters. So might as well embrace the lesser of the two evils
I think it might be easier to date someone who has another primary dance (like swing or tango) who likes to occasionally salsa dance as well. Then I can flirt with a new dance as well as the girl and there will be no anxieties over breakups etc. It will even be a healthy relationship because we will have our own interests outside of the shared interests (she'll have her own dance thing and I'll have my own -sounds dysfunctional - but it could work )
Still, I can't imagine dating a non-dancers. Those are just non-starters. So might as well embrace the lesser of the two evils
I think it might be easier to date someone who has another primary dance (like swing or tango) who likes to occasionally salsa dance as well. Then I can flirt with a new dance as well as the girl and there will be no anxieties over breakups etc. It will even be a healthy relationship because we will have our own interests outside of the shared interests (she'll have her own dance thing and I'll have my own -sounds dysfunctional - but it could work
)Funny, someone asked me about this indirectly last night (i.e what do I like in a girl).
My answer: You never know. More of a vibe and a connection. You just feel it. You do not have them fill out a questionnaire before feeling something.
That said, whether the two of you are compatible depends on sharing a mutual lifestyle. Depends on the two persons and relationships. NEVER thought I would say this but what dancing represents is SOOOO important to me that I would hope my oneday partner would share my passion. I think it would be crucial. Not necessarily being a dancer, but SHARING my passion for dance.
That said, I would LOVE for my partner to LOVE dancing with me and LOVE dancing as much as I do. Realistically my 5 nights a week dancing would decrease and even stop for a while. Especially with other responsibilities. Thus, there would be NO greater pleasure than being able to grab my partner when a song came on and be in the moment. To remember why we are together in this crazy world we live in. To remember what it feels like to touch each other.
*imagines cleaning up apartment to music, crossing paths with partner in loungeroom. Grabbing partner in passionate embrace, then gliding across the newly scrubbed floors finishing with a sizzling dip leaving us both overwhelmed by love!
• imagines oneday a kid asking me (maybe my kid) ‘daddy, what is love’. I grab my partner and dance bachata. Then my kid would say ‘oh, that’s love. I FEEL IT!!!’
*sigh
My answer: You never know. More of a vibe and a connection. You just feel it. You do not have them fill out a questionnaire before feeling something.
That said, whether the two of you are compatible depends on sharing a mutual lifestyle. Depends on the two persons and relationships. NEVER thought I would say this but what dancing represents is SOOOO important to me that I would hope my oneday partner would share my passion. I think it would be crucial. Not necessarily being a dancer, but SHARING my passion for dance.
That said, I would LOVE for my partner to LOVE dancing with me and LOVE dancing as much as I do. Realistically my 5 nights a week dancing would decrease and even stop for a while. Especially with other responsibilities. Thus, there would be NO greater pleasure than being able to grab my partner when a song came on and be in the moment. To remember why we are together in this crazy world we live in. To remember what it feels like to touch each other.
*imagines cleaning up apartment to music, crossing paths with partner in loungeroom. Grabbing partner in passionate embrace, then gliding across the newly scrubbed floors finishing with a sizzling dip leaving us both overwhelmed by love!
• imagines oneday a kid asking me (maybe my kid) ‘daddy, what is love’. I grab my partner and dance bachata. Then my kid would say ‘oh, that’s love. I FEEL IT!!!’
*sigh
quixotedlm said:So I'm starting to think that dating someone as seriously into salsa as I am might be a risk... every day I go to dance in fear of seeing her there - and I can't get over her because I have to see her at dances... and it just sucks. Moving on is very painful and slow... and public.
Still, I can't imagine dating a non-dancers. Those are just non-starters. So might as well embrace the lesser of the two evils
I think it might be easier to date someone who has another primary dance (like swing or tango) who likes to occasionally salsa dance as well. Then I can flirt with a new dance as well as the girl and there will be no anxieties over breakups etc. It will even be a healthy relationship because we will have our own interests outside of the shared interests (she'll have her own dance thing and I'll have my own -sounds dysfunctional - but it could work
what about a salsera from a different group or club or location. That could work too.
Who dares, wins
* Both parties entering a relationship at a salsa group should have a conversation EARLY on saying that their passion for salsa and friendliness is PARAMOUNT. No matter what. Both will be friends.
YES, it will be tough if you broke up. YOU WOULD NOT FEEL LIKE IT. But being mature and controlling your emotions is the LEAST you could do for your passion of salsa
Then, with time, things would work out
*assuming both parties are mature.............hmmmmm
I think this whole issue is kind of insoluble.
It is ironic that people start dancing to meet others, then they get addicted, can't date dancers because of the drama, can't meet non-dancers because they spend all their time dancing, and if they meet one it doesn't work because they aren't willing to let dancing take a back seat to the relationship.
No wonder most of the serious salser@s I know are chronically single.
Right now I'm avoiding the problem by just not dating anyone. Counterproductively, I find you can get a superficial mini-version of romantic contact by dancing... just enough to take the edge off, so you don't miss having a relationship badly enough to quit dancing and go find one...
It is ironic that people start dancing to meet others, then they get addicted, can't date dancers because of the drama, can't meet non-dancers because they spend all their time dancing, and if they meet one it doesn't work because they aren't willing to let dancing take a back seat to the relationship.
No wonder most of the serious salser@s I know are chronically single.
Right now I'm avoiding the problem by just not dating anyone. Counterproductively, I find you can get a superficial mini-version of romantic contact by dancing... just enough to take the edge off, so you don't miss having a relationship badly enough to quit dancing and go find one...
quixotedlm
Changui
ditto noob. i'm stuck in a limbo :-|