Based on my diagnosis, it sounds like you might be altruistic.Guys, I love internet diagnostication of strangers and trolling, etc. But you are hurting my feelings by doing this in my thread.
Whom do you like to dance with, but prefer to be asked?
- Thread starter Smejmoon
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bailar y tocar
Son Montuno
Masochistic. He is continuing to post in his thread after feeling hurt
And @Sabrosura is sadistic.
Back on topic.
Someone who has said no, I might prefer to dance with them. But they have to ask first to break the ice.
I have been very consistent since I started dancing and on SF. If you say no two times not on the same night, then it is upto you to ask. Otherwise you are in the DNA list. I know of a few on the DNA list that wonder why I am not asking. After a while they give up on the idea that I will ever ask.
Someone who has said no, I might prefer to dance with them. But they have to ask first to break the ice.
I have been very consistent since I started dancing and on SF. If you say no two times not on the same night, then it is upto you to ask. Otherwise you are in the DNA list. I know of a few on the DNA list that wonder why I am not asking. After a while they give up on the idea that I will ever ask.
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I think after a few months it doesn't hurt to ask again once, politely. There is a guy in Israel who will invite every women in the club who he has marked as someone who rejects him once a night. If they say no he nods, says thank you and leaves. He claims it has cut down how rejection list by like 80-90% and now many of them invite him to dance.
I like to dance with but prefer to be asked by anybody that I've asked to dance with before and had a good dance with. Probably socialisation and something I have to get out of the habit of doing is feeling awkward when I ask or feeling like when I've asked once, my work is done. But for sure if I’ve asked someone and don’t actively avoid their gaze the next time I see them (because I asked for a dance and was yanked around for 3 minutes instead), I would prefer being asked.
When I'm leading, I really like to be asked because it means people enjoy my lead but that never happens. I usually end up asking an unsuspecting person to dance and they that they don't lead and I explain that I will.
When I'm leading, I really like to be asked because it means people enjoy my lead but that never happens. I usually end up asking an unsuspecting person to dance and they that they don't lead and I explain that I will.
tinalilith
Changui
i prefer to be asked, but i don't mind asking someone if i really want to dance
The interesting question is: why do you prefer to be asked?
If you ask yourself, you can choose a dancer you like.
If you wait to get asked, you will get asked a lot by dancers you would not choose yourself, and maximum posibility is to reject them which might make you enemies.
Bostontraitor
Son
I give you one example:
There was this girl, young and decent looking. I had asked her for a salsa dance before. She told me, "no, not the salsa songs, I don' t dance salsa, come back to me when it's bachata." Then two songs later, she's dancing salsa with someone else. Last week, she was dancing salsa with a different person. And I asked her again when the song ended. She literally told me the exact same thing. You can say that she didn't reject me completely, but chances that I would ask her for a bachata dance is slim. Or she would tell me to ask her again when it's salsa. I wouldn't be surprised.
Favoritism is pretty common in social dancing. Everyone has favors, but a few dancers will make it obviously to others. I have accepted it as it is and focus on to the ones that would love to dance with me.
There was this girl, young and decent looking. I had asked her for a salsa dance before. She told me, "no, not the salsa songs, I don' t dance salsa, come back to me when it's bachata." Then two songs later, she's dancing salsa with someone else. Last week, she was dancing salsa with a different person. And I asked her again when the song ended. She literally told me the exact same thing. You can say that she didn't reject me completely, but chances that I would ask her for a bachata dance is slim. Or she would tell me to ask her again when it's salsa. I wouldn't be surprised.
Favoritism is pretty common in social dancing. Everyone has favors, but a few dancers will make it obviously to others. I have accepted it as it is and focus on to the ones that would love to dance with me.
Winston
Son
I got a case like that
I don't want to think about it, because the reason why she does that could only be crazy.Also I'll never ask two ladies (sisters) that used to not greet me. And they still don't. But they belong to the group of best follows of the scene.
Also most of other already mentioned reasons resonate with me.
Well, she said ask me again for Bachata, and you should try exactly that. It might be she is more picky for salsa and dances salsa only with special guys she knows, for whatever reasons (fear of getting hurt by some beginner for example). Or she prefers a salsa style which is uncommon in your area. I know girls who only like dominican bachata which is uncommon in europe, so they decline most requests for bachata because most leads dance BS and would unevitably try their headrolls on them. Or she really is strange, which always has a big chance of being true. But first you should ask her for bachata.
Bostontraitor
Son
I danced bachata with her before. She's a beginner becoming to be intermediate level. Her salsa is more on the beginner side. She likes to dance sensual bachata. I do a bit of everything.
The rule I go by is: If a follower doesn't want to dance with me for whatever reason, I move on. I have too many choices in my city. It's a two way street, I have my preferred dance partners too.
Also I noticed that some women ask several guys for specific kinds of music (like guajira or cha), and when song comes on they go with which one of them is closest.
Some complain that someone else asked me first while they came to me even when they didn't arrange anything.
Go figure which system is more productive, for now I decided not to stress about expectations of others too much.
Some complain that someone else asked me first while they came to me even when they didn't arrange anything.
Go figure which system is more productive, for now I decided not to stress about expectations of others too much.
So you start writing random sentences like others here? The question is where do these experiments lead to?
Not random. I observed that people whom I usually expect to ask me also have patterns how they expect me to ask them. Complicated.
I hesitate a little bit asking professional dancers because I do not want the "I want to dance with the promi" type of person and less - dance with someone who dances with me just for being polite. But then you have the professional dancers who just really enjoy dancing so I should definitely change my attitude on that.