What makes people want to dance with YOU?
- Thread starter RobotLion
- Start date
wildbill20056
Son Montuno
Generally speaking the feedback I get most regularly is: fun and musical, probably most of it's in there someplace. Beyond that I have been told I give off confidence without being cocky or in anyway intimidating. Plus I will literally dance with anyone, and that seems to get noticed, fast.
I think i've listed everything that people have said to me in the compliments thread.
But seriously, they have no one else to dance with since i'm the only guy there...
But seriously, they have no one else to dance with since i'm the only guy there...
is something, that many girls have told me and also said its highly important for them 
(beside: following the music with a big and happy smile + smooth and light lead)
Interesting question... I have no idea to be honest!
Actually, I don't think there's anything that sets me apart from other followers - I'm someone who's always there, a regular in the scene everyone knows, and someone who is good enough and smiley enough to be pleasant to dance with. And there are plenty of other girls that fit this description. Which is a good thing really - it's not a competition, you don't need to be special, and lots of good enough and smiley enough regulars means you have a good scene
[Edit]
Obviously, as a leader I stick out more being a woman, but I don't think that's what makes people want to dance with me
bailar y tocar
Son Montuno
This. In follower heavy scenes that is all it takes. Just dance. All the time. With everyone or anyone. It's the fastest way to become Mr. Popular. AFAIK that applies to many follow heavy scenes.
RobotLion
Son
Well, I don't have a privilege to be part of a follow heavy scene, I have to be on my A game and mentally put myself into shark mode in order to not be sitting 50% of the songs.
As of right now my record stands at 36 dances on the same night, and 12 consecutive dances.
Anyways, to answer my own question...
I haven't been dancing nearly as long as most people who are a serious part of the partner dancing scene. I have about a year and a half of west coast swing experience, about a year in salsa, and only 2 months of seriously doing east coast swing. I hadn't even attempted to dance in any shape of form until about a year and a half ago. Before that I was never the kind of person to dance, even by myself to the radio when nobody was watching, that just wasn't me. I tried taking classes in dancing because it was the absolute last thing in the world I ever thought I could be good at, and I wanted to challenge myself.
But back to the point at hand... I started doing east coast swing 2 months ago (literally 2 months, 5 hours, and 15 minutes from the time I am typing this). So, on the very first day I was doing east coast swing socially, I had only been doing this for literally about 5 minutes and 18 seconds before I had a girl tell me, "Oh, you must have done this before, you are really good."
That is what got me thinking, what made her think I was good, I had only been doing this particular dance for less than 6 minutes... Why is it that even when I haven't done salsa in several months and I hardly remember how to do a basic, girls still want to dance with me? So this is what I came up with...
a) The simple fact that I can hold a girl with complete and total confidence. This one applies to almost every serious lead, so it doesn't really set me apart from anyone serious about dancing, just sets the serious people away from the beginners. But I don't think most guys that are not dancers really have that feel to them where they can just pick a girl up in their arms and not be nervous or hesitant about making her do things.
b) Because I have done so many different kinds of dances, every once in a while my muscle memory will revert back to something totally different than the dance at hand, but something that still kind of works.This creates a kind of excitement of something new. I dance with a lot of purists, and I think the follows really notice and appreciate that I sporadically go into something totally different than what they have ever done before. The first time I ever started pulling off west coast swing and hustle moves in meringue the sparkle in the girls eyes and the 'oh my god' look on that girls face was priceless. She is doing something she has never done before, but it is working flawlessly, and that is a great feeling.
and what I believe is the most important
c) I have really good connection with my lead. I have developed my control of pressure between my hand and the hand of my follow to a level far higher than a dancer of my experience should have. I have had several well respected teachers compare my connection to people at a much higher level than me.
I guess it probably has something to do with the fact that my day job is being a massage therapist, and controlling the amount of pressure from my hands into my clients body is basically the most important skill. I think the dancing has made me a better massage therapist, and the massage therapy has made my control of pressure on my leads a great deal better.
In the end it really has little to do with your hands at all, and is all about creating that motion from your core and legs to send a clear and confident signal.
Anyways, I just think it is real easy for follows to read what I am trying to tell them. I think compared to other dancers of my experience level, most of my other skills are sub-par, but my ability to send a clear lead more than makes up for it and people mistake me as a good dancer from time to time...
As of right now my record stands at 36 dances on the same night, and 12 consecutive dances.
Anyways, to answer my own question...
I haven't been dancing nearly as long as most people who are a serious part of the partner dancing scene. I have about a year and a half of west coast swing experience, about a year in salsa, and only 2 months of seriously doing east coast swing. I hadn't even attempted to dance in any shape of form until about a year and a half ago. Before that I was never the kind of person to dance, even by myself to the radio when nobody was watching, that just wasn't me. I tried taking classes in dancing because it was the absolute last thing in the world I ever thought I could be good at, and I wanted to challenge myself.
But back to the point at hand... I started doing east coast swing 2 months ago (literally 2 months, 5 hours, and 15 minutes from the time I am typing this). So, on the very first day I was doing east coast swing socially, I had only been doing this for literally about 5 minutes and 18 seconds before I had a girl tell me, "Oh, you must have done this before, you are really good."
That is what got me thinking, what made her think I was good, I had only been doing this particular dance for less than 6 minutes... Why is it that even when I haven't done salsa in several months and I hardly remember how to do a basic, girls still want to dance with me? So this is what I came up with...
a) The simple fact that I can hold a girl with complete and total confidence. This one applies to almost every serious lead, so it doesn't really set me apart from anyone serious about dancing, just sets the serious people away from the beginners. But I don't think most guys that are not dancers really have that feel to them where they can just pick a girl up in their arms and not be nervous or hesitant about making her do things.
b) Because I have done so many different kinds of dances, every once in a while my muscle memory will revert back to something totally different than the dance at hand, but something that still kind of works.This creates a kind of excitement of something new. I dance with a lot of purists, and I think the follows really notice and appreciate that I sporadically go into something totally different than what they have ever done before. The first time I ever started pulling off west coast swing and hustle moves in meringue the sparkle in the girls eyes and the 'oh my god' look on that girls face was priceless. She is doing something she has never done before, but it is working flawlessly, and that is a great feeling.
and what I believe is the most important
c) I have really good connection with my lead. I have developed my control of pressure between my hand and the hand of my follow to a level far higher than a dancer of my experience should have. I have had several well respected teachers compare my connection to people at a much higher level than me.
I guess it probably has something to do with the fact that my day job is being a massage therapist, and controlling the amount of pressure from my hands into my clients body is basically the most important skill. I think the dancing has made me a better massage therapist, and the massage therapy has made my control of pressure on my leads a great deal better.
In the end it really has little to do with your hands at all, and is all about creating that motion from your core and legs to send a clear and confident signal.
Anyways, I just think it is real easy for follows to read what I am trying to tell them. I think compared to other dancers of my experience level, most of my other skills are sub-par, but my ability to send a clear lead more than makes up for it and people mistake me as a good dancer from time to time...
Salsa Student
Son Montuno
Sunglasses.
bailar y tocar
Son Montuno
Towel hanging out of back pocket.
One pant leg rolled up a bit.
Salsa Student
Son Montuno
Red pants.
SnowDancer
Son Montuno
It's my hats.
Slowdance
Son
I have been told that my lead is clear. I have been told I make a great first impression. I have been told I make the follow comfortable.
As for what I think about myself that makes people want to dance with me, I try to match my partner's needs. If they like styling, I open up for that as much as possible. If they are new and nervous, I make sure to not overwhelm them; instead I will focus on things that I know I lead well even on the untrained. Then maybe once they are smiling and/or relaxed, I will give them one thing that's maybe 10% out of their comfort zone (but still safe) and then return to the even match. That way there is some excitement, but no dread.
Of course part of the reason is that we have a super tiny scene, so usually everyone is happy to dance with anyone.
As for what I think about myself that makes people want to dance with me, I try to match my partner's needs. If they like styling, I open up for that as much as possible. If they are new and nervous, I make sure to not overwhelm them; instead I will focus on things that I know I lead well even on the untrained. Then maybe once they are smiling and/or relaxed, I will give them one thing that's maybe 10% out of their comfort zone (but still safe) and then return to the even match. That way there is some excitement, but no dread.
Of course part of the reason is that we have a super tiny scene, so usually everyone is happy to dance with anyone.
thepresenceon2
Son Montuno
Every dance is a intimate conversation, treat it as such.
kbitten
Son Montuno
I love being intimate with you kkkkkkkkkkkkk
thepresenceon2
Son Montuno
Lmaoooo lmaoooo lmaoooo.
kbitten
Son Montuno
funny..I had one dance with V that really defines that! the song was like Ti mon bo so there were litle room for partnerwork, It would be awful to dance that song with someone that does not communicate with you. Instead , we stayed the whole song doing shines and playing with each other all the time!!!