Trying to get back into salsa...
- Thread starter Chris_Yannick
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nowhiteshoes
Son
Do you live in a big city or small town?
Hi SnowDancer,
I meet new women all the time because I go out social dancing often and I am heavily involved in my own dance school's affairs. Of course, i'm not even sure if this qualifies as "meeting new women" so much as it is "meeting new dance partners".
If we're talking outside of salsa, then no. I don't have much of a life outside of salsa.
I have not tried dating anyone in the scene either because I feel it's too weird. At the moment i'm looking to gain more friendships using salsa as the primary vehicle for meeting new women. Eventually, when my dance network expands, they will be able to introduce me to their friends (some of whom may or may not be salsa dancers). Of course, I would like to meet someone who also dances because it is a big part of my life.
Thanks Sagitta. Her offer of allowing me to talk things out with her I feel was more of a counseling tactic.
I'm sure she doesn't want to hear about how heartbroken I still am over her.
She's moved on. I need to as well. I'm going back to strict No Contact. However, it will be difficult knowing that we'll cross paths again soon.
She has moved on. You haven't, you are stuck. From what you narrated her behavior is reasonable and rational. At least she did a good thing by listening you out and telling you where she stands.
Yes, it does suck to be in position you are in. Time is your best friend!
Oops! posted above before reading your last post. No contact as much as possible is good thing. Try to keep any conversation to the minimum.
WessexSalsero
Changui
Ah, mate. Love, eh! Can be tricky to shake off..
Sounds like the plot of 'Get Over It'.
Or one of my favourite teenage romcoms: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.
The protagonist in both those movies finds solace in the arms of another girl - who he struggles to find particularly attractive throughout most of the movie..
Maybe time to look for your own Norah?
Thanks for the update btw. It's pretty cool when someone who has asked for advice actually comes back with a follow up.
I live in a big city. But even so, there are certain socials that we both like to attend and are bound to run into each other. I already know of one coming up at the end of the month where she is performing and i'll be in attendance.
I agree with you here. I'm not going to be initiating any contact, unless we literally pass each other on the dance floor, in which case I will say hello. I am too embarrassed to say anything else at the moment. She saw how emotional and vulnerable I was and it's not something I wish to relive.
Thanks. It's funny because that's how I felt about her at first. I struggled to find a reason to start dating her but she kept pursuing and eventually got me.
I am coming back here simply because I want to share my story. When I look back at this months or even years from now, I want to be able to say that the lessons I learned today from going through this experience has made me a better person.
Of course you will; start by getting blown, let the man downstairs think without pressure for a little while
Every relationship is something between two. If it's ok then it the reason of both, if it fails, this is also the reason of both.
You und your ex are splitted. That's all. That's a fact. In consequence, you can do what you want as well as you ex can do what she wants. It's her right to ask you to go to other places. However it is your right to ignore the question.
Who is she that she asks you to leave the school? Does she own the school? Or does she just attend classes in the school?
As long as you can deal with the situation that you see her and you don't just go there, because you are still hoping to get her back, I would see no reason why you should leave the school and search for another.
Hi MunichSalsero,
I have already gone back to "her" studio numerous times since my original posting seeking for advice. At the moment I am limiting myself to attending their monthly socials (if even that). However, I am not taking classes there nor will I in the forseeable future.
I've already moved on and found a new school. They have invited me to start training with their performance troupe. On top of that, I've started working for them in an administrative capacity. So the change of scenery has resulted in new opportunities and I for one am glad to be a part of a community again.
As far as my Ex goes, I am still deeply in love with her and can't seem to sever myself emotionally, despite all of the changes i've made in my life. I am trying to let go, but it's been almost a year since the break up and I am still cut up.
Chris
Probably more people have been in this situation than they would care to admit. This is the reason why I try to avoid forming relationships in salsa, if the breakup happens, you can be made to feel uncomfortable in a place that used to be your space to express yourself and forget about the weeks problems. I was in a similar situation last year, so I'm hoping that it gets better for you.
Am wondering how this story ended up...
Oh yes, my very first post on Salsa Forums. It's funny how things happen some times. Time does heal all wounds. And of course, having been involved in other relationships since then does put some emotional distance between us.
We do run into each other occasionally, but only during big events like the Congress, or if I decide to show up at her school's socials.
We've spoken a few times, the last time being in January.
I've learned that life seldom gives a grand finale, and it's up to me to decide when and how to move on. I've adopted a different attitude, one that is more amenable to life's challenges with regards to relationships. So far it's working out
Chris
Good to hear that Chris. So true too.I've learned that life seldom gives a grand finale, and it's up to me to decide when and how to move on. I've adopted a different attitude, one that is more amenable to life's challenges with regards to relationships. So far it's working out