Leader's blacklist

wonderwoman said:
That story made me think of another theory of why guys may blacklist girls... Its not my theory but its A theory some have, namely about those two gorgeous girls who stopped getting invited to dance. Some believe its because they weren't hooking up. Ok. Wouldn't doing so make you stop getting asked to dance faster? If that's what a guy wants and he hasn't gotten it yet, wouldn't he continue in pursuit of it? (Yes.)
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Sorry, but that's rubbish theory. For regular dancers that's not a consideration to blacklist anyone.
 
wonderwoman said:
Two women moved here from another city, both models and pro dancers though they started learning salsa here. Had all kinds of offers to dance, they danced more than anyone. They never smiled but they were gorgeous and decent dancers (they weren't/aren't that good.. they can follow) and after a time men stopped asking them to dance. It's just that the experience of dancing with them got old. And granted we ladies here aren't getting better because we don't get many opportunities to push our dancing to another level, nor do we have instructors who can do that. But they weren't getting better and their personalities weren't becoming any more bubbly or fun. They got dances initially based on their looks but brought nothing new over time..
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Makes sense. Even if they did improve, the lack of friendliness will cause most guys to get bored with them over time. I imagine that new guys come in (and maybe can't dance), and give them a try, though.

I've noticed something similar, going the other way, where a couple cute girls would start showing up and clearly just want to dance with the good-looking guys. Trouble was, the good leads who were also good-looking didn't dance with these girls because they never bothered to take lessons, so most of their dances were with attractive guys who were throwing them around trying to impressive them (probably to hook up). After a few times, the girls would stop showing up, probably because they weren't enjoying the dancing.
 
tresto said:
I'm still confused though. Why would she invite me, not smile at all yet invite me again later but still half ass it, and then finally become my groupie, go all out and turn out super fun ?! I've already had quite a bit of women I didn't know invite me to dance, but they were always smiling from the start. At some point I think I'll just ask her directly because I'm still wondering.
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My guess, maybe she thought you ARE a good dancer and she was kind of nervous to invite you first. Another guess is, she was putting on a face so that no one would try and pick her up. She saw you a couple of times, noticed YOU were not chasing her!1
 
I think I have a girl in my black list now :banana:

Last week when I was in Turkey I danced with an instructor. I asked if she prefers on1 or on2, she replied:
"If you can dance on2, I prefer on2".
I think this is one of the silliest response to my question.
Anyway, I didn't say anything, I started on2. Then I noticed that she is dancing kind a LA style on2. (Turkey scene is mostly on1, when they convert to on2, they dance similarly). Even if ladies dance with a steady tempo, I can keep them quick-quick-slow tempo by delaying my steps in the middle. But this time, she was resisting and rejecting following me since she was sure that she was doing "correct" and I'm "incorrect".
(I hate people introducing terms like mistake, incorrect etc. to dance scene. I never use those words in salsa)
She said I'm too slow according to the song, I said I don't think so.
She said we can turn back to on1 if I like, I said no, I'm fine.
Then (with an annoyed face) she asked me if I'm drunk! I wasn't but I said yes! I drunk 6 beers :tongue:
She was talking too much but I didn't want to be rude and stop dancing. Luckily she kindly asked me that we can give a break if I like. (I could see from her face that she didn't want to hurt my feelings :D )
I said yesss :tongue:
I don't think that she will change ever so I don't think that we can dance for a whole song ever. For that reason there's no point in asking her again.

Btw, in the next song she watched me dancing with her colleague with surprised looks :P Probably she realised that I wasn't drunk :lol:
 
Heyy I remember someone listing in this thread they got pissed off when someone asked them if they were dancing on1 or on2. I personally don't care one little bit and I think it's better to ask if you aren't sure.

This happened last night. This woman I had never met before and invited to dance seemed a bit confused and asked me this very same question after about 15 seconds. I couldn't help myself but laugh out loud. I told her I wasn't making fun of her, just laughing because it reminded me of a forum thread. :bouncy:

I hope she believed me and I didn't hurt her feelings. :oops: :oops:
 
tresto said:
I'm still confused though. Why would she invite me, not smile at all yet invite me again later but still half ass it, and then finally become my groupie, go all out and turn out super fun ?!
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i think this is an easy one. i'd lay money on the probability that she's shy. i have a friend who's a really expressive dancer, but almost never smiles except with people she's become really comfortable with over time. she has the 'ice queen' look, but nothing could be further from the truth.

in 'sharing' with someone except in dancing, it's normal to build up intimacy over time (conversation: about your commute to work, then favourite books, then first love. physical intimacy: brief shoulder touching, kissing, sex). i dont know why dancing often skips straight to stage 3, lol...
 
olamalam said:
I think I have a girl in my black list now :banana:

Last week when I was in Turkey I danced with an instructor. I asked if she prefers on1 or on2, she replied:
"If you can dance on2, I prefer on2".
I think this is one of the silliest response to my question.
Anyway, I didn't say anything, I started on2. Then I noticed that she is dancing kind a LA style on2. (Turkey scene is mostly on1, when they convert to on2, they dance similarly). Even if ladies dance with a steady tempo, I can keep them quick-quick-slow tempo by delaying my steps in the middle. But this time, she was resisting and rejecting following me since she was sure that she was doing "correct" and I'm "incorrect".
(I hate people introducing terms like mistake, incorrect etc. to dance scene. I never use those words in salsa)
She said I'm too slow according to the song, I said I don't think so.
She said we can turn back to on1 if I like, I said no, I'm fine.
Then (with an annoyed face) she asked me if I'm drunk! I wasn't but I said yes! I drunk 6 beers :tongue:
She was talking too much but I didn't want to be rude and stop dancing. Luckily she kindly asked me that we can give a break if I like. (I could see from her face that she didn't want to hurt my feelings :D )
I said yesss :tongue:
I don't think that she will change ever so I don't think that we can dance for a whole song ever. For that reason there's no point in asking her again.

Btw, in the next song she watched me dancing with her colleague with surprised looks :P Probably she realised that I wasn't drunk :lol:
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The majority of EU instructors actually teach & dance the Power 2 tempo, even though when counting without music, they try to keep to the ET/NY On2 steps. And unfortunately, there are a lot of wannabe elitest 'local' dancers in any given area that will react like she did. Send me a pic so I can put her on my.......hehehe. Just kiddin! (point her out at the next congress ;) :D )
 
GuyDC said:
The majority of EU instructors actually teach & dance the Power 2 tempo, even though when counting without music, they try to keep to the ET/NY On2 steps.
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Errr.. I am finding it hard to visualize exactly what they are doing/teaching !
 
I've got no blacklist, but I will remember who bothered to acknowledge me and treat me with respect whilst I am learning. In a while, I'll get much, much better. When I do, I know which people I'll approach - those people that tolerated and suffered from my crappy timing, missed steps and boring dancing as a beginner. Most of them even had a smile on their face and commented positively on some aspect of my very limited ability. You know who you are, and I'll always remember those people. I won't even notice all the impatient Diva's that looked through me. I won't blacklist them, but I won't ask them to dance either....
 
In order for a dance to be enjoyable it needs to at least meet your current abilities, and ideally challenge you just enough to engage you without frustrating you. It makes sense to prefer to dance with people who can challenge and engage you.

I was a beginner once and I was turned down by advanced dancers. Now I get dances with them. Its not a big deal. But I kept at it and improved. Not every beginner is going to continue with it to where they get so good that they are better than people who were good when they started. Its not likely to happen, but if it does, that person clearly has a passion for dance and he's not going to play games with it. But they're going to understand why they were turned down back when they weren't any good.

Blacklisting someone forever because they didn't want to dance with you when you were a beginner is like any grudge you hold in life... It hurts nobody but the grudge-holder.
 
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