You're good...they're good...can't dance together

David

David

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I've been dancing for about 11 years, and I started dancing with a lady who is incredible on the dance floor and regularly wins contests, etc. But when I danced with her, she was impossible. I couldn't lead her and everything felt really awkward. Have you ever experienced this?
 
sure did..

if i didn't, it wouldn't be natural .. and it would get me suspecting tha i have weak or no unique style
 
Yes.
It could be many things... for example,

She has a regular partner (common for competitors) and not used to following different leads.
She dances a different style of salsa from yours (e.g. LA vs. Cuban, on1 vs. on2).
It's the first dance and she hasn't had a chance to adjust to your lead and you to her dance style -- i.e., it may get better if you dance with her more.
She's a backleader and doesn't follow your lead.
 
Dude, that just happened to me last night. I saw this one couple dance and they looked absolutely spectacular together. They seemed to be dating/married, so I asked her parter if I could cut in on the next song before I asked her. She's a good dancer don't get me wrong, but I think she fits alot of what MacMoto was talking about as far as being used to one partner. When you're used to dancing w/ one person, you get used to what he/she does and you end up being lazy w/ your lead/following. From her standpoint, being a follower, she tried to anticipate alot of my moves and ended up doing something completely different that what I wanted. Fortunately, we were both pretty good at adjusting on the fly, so we looked good anyway.

I had this same problem myself before. I took classes for a year and some months but couldn't go to clubs because I just a few months shy of being 21 (and being a guy you don't get any slack w/ the bouncer if you're underage). So once I did turn 21 last December, I was able to go out and dance w/ many different people, and I learned that my lead wasn't as strong as I thought it was. Since I was used to the same partners in salsa class, even when I would mess up or lead something wrong, my partners still executed it smoothly 'cuase they knew what move I was going for. So it pays on both ends to dance w/ as many different people as you can as well as that one regular partner.
 
One regular salsero in my scene came to mind when I read the title of this thread.

Nice guy, good timing, solid lead........but I look & feel wrong dancing with him :roll: .

I guess it can be a personal style issue rather than an offical style (LA vs. Cuban) issue :? ........

Following skill also contribute to this, I'm sure :oops: ......while I'm striving to be the best follower I can possibly be, there's still a lot of ground to cover.......... :oops: :oops: :oops:
 
I danced with a girl who has won championships, she was presented to the public, even put a performance with her partener to where everyone appluaded...

When the song ended a bautiful medium tempo song was played, I asked her for a dance thinking this would be one of my best dances, well, that was a mistake. It was a let down!

She danced the song as if she was putting a show, she danced it just like if it was the performance she'd just put on (to a very fast ray barretto song). Nothing she did went with the music, I mean nothing, there was such a feel of distance and coldness that I couldn't wait for the song to end. It felt like when you are just about to break with a long love that has gone sour... when you are physically together but the coldness and distance tell each other that it is over, well that is how it felt.

It felt like we were in an argument rather than in a joyous communication. It truly felt like we wresteled each other for 4 minutes. Young absolutely beautiful girl, very skilled, yet her approach to dancing was nothing like mine. My guess she was so used to hear partner and competing that she couldn't get away from that mode to joy in the dance.

Till this date that has been one of my worst dances, yet, we got a bunch of compliments from the crowd. :? A friend told me, understand that she dances for different reasons than you do, and that is what you felt and saw from her... two differnt points of view about the same music... God, if it had been baseball she would be the girl with the hockey gear on behind homeplate... that is how bad it felt to me!
 
salsachinita said:
Nice guy, good timing, solid lead........but I look & feel wrong dancing with him :roll: .

I guess it can be a personal style issue rather than an offical style (LA vs. Cuban) issue :? ........
Click to expand...
Yes, a guy in my scene comes to mind. He's a good leader, very skilled. No complaints in that respect. He can make me do things I can't do with others. My friends love dancing with him, yet I very rarely enjoy dancing with him. I just simply don't seem to be able to connect with him. He's not what I'd call a pattern dancer, and he's good at interpreting music, yet it always feels as if he's simply putting me through moves -- the whole dance feels dry and soulless. I'm not sure what the problem is -- all I can say is that the path through which I normally establish connection with other leaders appears to be incompatible with his path.
 
There could be other factors as well. I have had nights where I felt like I was not connecting well with anyone and when one of my favorites walked on the floor we still had a good connection but it was not the same as some other nights. Some nights you just don't feel it or maybe they don't feel it or maybe the music is not right for your connection.
For me I not only have to feel compatable with my partner but I have to feel compatable with her for this particular song. The other day one of my new favorite partners and I had some trouble because we simply were not getting the songs that would enhance OUR experience. The dances we had were ok but when we did get one of the songs that we groove to well the experience was much better.
 
This thread is very interesting!

MacMoto, could you help me further understand this sentence of yours?

"He's not what I'd call a pattern dancer, and he's good at interpreting music, yet it always feels as if he's simply putting me through moves -- the whole dance feels dry and soulless"

What is 'pattern dancer'?

Also, yby saying 'good at interpreting music' did you mean good at following the beat/music.. but then when saying 'he's simply putting me through moves', do you mean that he only concentrates on the moves and doesn't pay attention to the dance partner? or do u rather mean he is doing the moves one after the other .. by heart? (choregraphed?)

sorry for so many questions MacMoto :P

thx for answering

Again, i found this thread to be very very interesting!
 
jshadow said:
MacMoto, could you help me further understand this sentence of yours?

"He's not what I'd call a pattern dancer, and he's good at interpreting music, yet it always feels as if he's simply putting me through moves -- the whole dance feels dry and soulless"

What is 'pattern dancer'?
Click to expand...
Sorry, I keep forgetting that not everyone here frequents Dance Forums...

Here's a good sum up of what I mean by a "pattern dancer".
:arrow: Lead Your Partner, Not Patterns! (SD, perhaps you could post it here too? :))

Also, a related thread on Dance Forums:
:arrow: In defence of patterns

jshadow said:
Also, yby saying 'good at interpreting music' did you mean good at following the beat/music..
Click to expand...
By "good at interpreting music" I mean his dance reflects the music. He doesn't do just any move to any music -- he changes what he does to fit the highs and lows of the song and hits breaks in the music very effectively. I'm not talking about just being on the beat.

Here's Edie the SalsaFreak's excellent article about interpreting/playing with the music:
:arrow: Focus on the Music FIRST … The Beat (Timing) SECOND…!!!

jshadow said:
.. but then when saying 'he's simply putting me through moves', do you mean that he only concentrates on the moves and doesn't pay attention to the dance partner? or do u rather mean he is doing the moves one after the other .. by heart? (choregraphed?)
Click to expand...
His moves do NOT feel choreographed (as I said, he's good at interpreting music). As for not paying attention to the partner, I don't think this is necessarily the case either. I said (or tried to say) that the way he dances makes ME feel AS IF he's simply putting me through moves, but I don't think that necessarily means he IS the sort of dancer who focuses on moves and just put girls through moves without paying attention to them. I feel the primary problem is that we don't connect well when we dance together. I know many girls love dancing with him.
 
Macmoto,

when i wrote the above questions, i was only expecting some good explanations.... BUT you can me so much more!!

the articles are great!!
I really liked Edie - The Salsa FREAK's articles 'Focus on the Music FIRST … The Beat (Timing) SECOND' and most of all 'Take Care of Her' ! :P

they answered a question i have been having during the last couple of months i've been dancing Salsa (i'm just a beginner hehe!) I always sit down and wonder if the female dancers always like it when the guys spin then around like there is no tomorrow?!?!?!

Edie's article gave me the answer. They confirm what I've been thinking. We (guys) are on the dance floor to dance with the girls and make if a nice dance experience for both partners! Otherwise, we (guys) might as well dance on our own! :P

As to your answer and links to related to 'pattern dancing', i find the tips really useful. I am still a bit into patterns and am working hard to improve.

thanks again MacMoto for helping me in my salsa learning path :)
 
I had this happen at the congress in May. I'd seen this girl at my hotel earlier in the day, I could tell instantly she was a salsera. That night I ran into her at the congress. I watched her dance a song and she was very good. So as soon as it was over I asked her to dance...oh man! 0 connection. She was so worried about making herself look good she wasn't even attempting to dance with me. So for 4 minutes I went through the motions, hating every minute of it. It felt as if she was literally sucking my soul out of me as we danced. I couldn't get a away fast enough!!!

You know what's wierd though? There are two women in my scene that I hated dancing with the first time I asked them, but now they're two of my favorites. You think I was just off the first time I danced with them?
 
No youngsta, I don't think so. It could be any reason why you're dance might be off I think. The right music, the right floor space, the right atmosphere, the right frame of mind.....To me, all of those could easily distract the connection a bit.
 
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