Who(m) I ask to dance...

Smiles and eye contact are good but I've had some great dances with women who don't do either - it doesn't come naturally to some people, even when they're enjoying themselves.
 
When I was in Edinburgh, and maybe the first half-year in Tokyo, my aim was to dance with as many different leaders as possible - all the leaders if that was feasible - so I asked a guy whenever I wasn't asked (some guys complained to me that they never had a chance to ask me because I was always on the dancefloor :lol:). I would generally decide which guy to ask depending on the song. No point asking a beginner up for a fast mambo, or an on2 instructor for a timba... There were guys I didn't enjoy dancing salsa with, and I often asked them for a merengue or bachata (I still do this :roll:).

Somehow I've become more conservative recently and now I don't ask guys as much as I used to. But I still ask:

- All my favourites if they don't ask me first
- All my friends if they don't ask me first
- Guys I haven't seen before and seem to be good dancers if they don't ask me first
- Guys from my classes if they don't ask me first
(* This includes beginners/improvers, and there have been situations where I was surprised by their improvement, but that's not really my motivation for asking them)
- Guys in minority styles when approriate songs come on (if a decent timba comes on and there's a Cuban dancer around, I ask him - same with on1-preferable song with an on1 leader on a predominantly on2 night, or a mambo with an on2 leader on a mainly on1 night).

I no longer ask:
- Guys who have obviously never taken a class before
- Guys who give me a negative vibe when dancing with me
- Guys who never ask me back even though I've asked them on numerous occasions over the last couple of years
- Guys with thumb grips / *very* rough leads
- Guys who don't pay any attention to the music

I dance more as a leader when there's a big shortage of leaders or on a poor night when I'm probably as good as (if not better than) other leaders. (And I sometimes use leading as a way to avoid dancing with guys I don't enjoy dancing with :twisted:)
As a leader I do most of the asking (although there are girls who ask me to lead when they see me), and I ask
- Friends who seem to be happy to let me lead
- Girls I've danced with before who gave me a big smile / asked me to dance again
- Girls who look like wanting to dance (esp. for merengue - which I like :mrgreen:)
- Girls who are not getting a dance on a follow-heavy night
- Guys who can follow/are practising following
 
Forgot this one:
- I don't ask guys who take up too much space on the floor when it's crowded. But I often ask them when there's lots of space.
 
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