What do you do when you're having a bad night?
- Thread starter mccool
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Changui
Go home, don't dance for a week, go out again. Everyone has up and down days. The experienced and the beginner, the boastful and the humble.
It happens. Sometimes the stars don't align. You feel shitty. Take a couple of days or weeks off, then dive back in. You'll have a great dance when you come back.
It happens. Sometimes the stars don't align. You feel shitty. Take a couple of days or weeks off, then dive back in. You'll have a great dance when you come back.
I have two techniques.
First one, I choose places I like. This prevents most of it. If I know I don't enjoy going to a place for whatever reason (people and/or music mostly), after I've tried it I just don't go back to it.
Second, I'll just invite every follower I don't know in the room. There will be some uninteresting dances, but some nice surprises will also come. I do it all the time, slow night or not. It takes a little practise at first. Now it's just routine.
I do dance at least half of the time with people I DO know though, it's nice go have some fun with friends !
If inviting everyone still doesn't work, I'll go have a walk or something, or go chat with some friends, and come to the dance floor back 10-15min after. Not better ? I call it a day. It's no use crying over spilt milk. There are lots of great things I can do at home. Read a book, watch a movie, listen to music, ...
Yesterday, first half of the night was great, second half they switch DJ and the new one played crap. So I just went in another room to dance cuban for a bit instead, which was fun (even though I don't like cuban as much), then when I came back to xbody room most people were sitting (and I'm talking about at least instructor level dancers, not people being shy). I asked the DJ to put other stuff on, but he was obviously playing music for himself, not for the audience. So I went to chat with friends, which was nice, and went home a little later.
Overall, it went fine. Why ? Because I didn't let external events affect me. I had no control whatsoever over what the DJ played, so if asking didn't work, I had done my part so I felt fine about myself and was unaffected.
I hope this helps
To sum it up, my general view is don't try to change what you can't change. Figure out your options, pick one, and go with it.
PS: I stated this DJ problem to the organizer in a non-whining/theatening/complaining way and he took it very well because it was constructive. He said he'd try and DJ himself next time (he's a fantastic DJ, superb track selection and very good ability to read the audience).
First one, I choose places I like. This prevents most of it. If I know I don't enjoy going to a place for whatever reason (people and/or music mostly), after I've tried it I just don't go back to it.
Second, I'll just invite every follower I don't know in the room. There will be some uninteresting dances, but some nice surprises will also come. I do it all the time, slow night or not. It takes a little practise at first. Now it's just routine.
I do dance at least half of the time with people I DO know though, it's nice go have some fun with friends !
If inviting everyone still doesn't work, I'll go have a walk or something, or go chat with some friends, and come to the dance floor back 10-15min after. Not better ? I call it a day. It's no use crying over spilt milk. There are lots of great things I can do at home. Read a book, watch a movie, listen to music, ...
Yesterday, first half of the night was great, second half they switch DJ and the new one played crap. So I just went in another room to dance cuban for a bit instead, which was fun (even though I don't like cuban as much), then when I came back to xbody room most people were sitting (and I'm talking about at least instructor level dancers, not people being shy). I asked the DJ to put other stuff on, but he was obviously playing music for himself, not for the audience. So I went to chat with friends, which was nice, and went home a little later.
Overall, it went fine. Why ? Because I didn't let external events affect me. I had no control whatsoever over what the DJ played, so if asking didn't work, I had done my part so I felt fine about myself and was unaffected.
I hope this helps
To sum it up, my general view is don't try to change what you can't change. Figure out your options, pick one, and go with it.
PS: I stated this DJ problem to the organizer in a non-whining/theatening/complaining way and he took it very well because it was constructive. He said he'd try and DJ himself next time (he's a fantastic DJ, superb track selection and very good ability to read the audience).
It's a very efficient one too.
I've been having a great time lately, but in the past I have took 1-2 weeks off when I didn't feel it anymore and it was a very good thing.
TrulyMadlyAmanda
Changui
during?
body isolations or solo shines if music's good, chatting if music's bad. asking new people can help...if theyre all awful, hopefully you showed them a nice time at least. or cut losses and go home. or combo of all above.
after?
depends on why i had a bad time...try to address the actual issue (eg, if music was awful, email some song requests to dj or bring CD next time, too hot = email promoter about AC). if it was just me PMSing or similar, wait til i feel the urge to dance before going out again. everyone has some off-nights...how many times when you go to dinner/movie/regular club/i dunno - badminton club, lol...do you have a great time.
it's not usually possible to have a brilliant time every single time you do almost anything...that's just usually hidden in salsa because the rate of enjoyment is normally higher than usual. endorphins, baby!
body isolations or solo shines if music's good, chatting if music's bad. asking new people can help...if theyre all awful, hopefully you showed them a nice time at least. or cut losses and go home. or combo of all above.
after?
depends on why i had a bad time...try to address the actual issue (eg, if music was awful, email some song requests to dj or bring CD next time, too hot = email promoter about AC). if it was just me PMSing or similar, wait til i feel the urge to dance before going out again. everyone has some off-nights...how many times when you go to dinner/movie/regular club/i dunno - badminton club, lol...do you have a great time.
it's not usually possible to have a brilliant time every single time you do almost anything...that's just usually hidden in salsa because the rate of enjoyment is normally higher than usual. endorphins, baby!
TrulyMadlyAmanda
Changui
as well as trying to address whatever the actual issue was, some other things ive tried:
- personally invite a handful of your fave dancers next time (including some youre attracted to)
- go to a big salsa festival - always re-inspires me
- try to get the DJ to play some great new tracks (prep email + CD)
- play some wicked music at home, inbetweentimes (can be double-edged if in-club music's v v poor)
- try a different night, or a night in a different city a reasonable distance away
- do something completely different for a week (chess, in my case)
sagitta
Changui
I used to go out and want to dance the entire night. Now what I do is based on my experience. If the music is good I'll stay longer. If there are people to meet and chat and dance with I'll stay longer. If I have had enough I will go home. Bad music, no people go home. I am having many better nights as a result. As tresto said, no pointing getting worked up over things that you cannot change. So many ways one can spend one's time.
azzey
Son Montuno
I have a simple formula for great nights that has proved itself over the years:
- I arrive when the party is starting to rock and leave as soon as it's no longer enjoyable for me, which is often the last Salsa track. Arrive, a few hellos, jacket off, hand out, dance.
- I dance every song I like and don't sit down or stop except to sip my drink between dances. I generally don't stand and watch. Though I might chat with friends if I'm not dancing this track for some reason.
- I usually only dance to music I like. Over the years the range of music I like has widened considerably. Some experimentation is always good.
- I ask followers I enjoy dancing with who enjoy dancing with me.
- Always prepare a choice of partner(s) before the last track ends.
- I'll try to fit the girl to the music. So I don't have to miss that rocking Salsa Dura or Timba because I'm dancing off time with someone who can't keep the beat. Although I won't reject someone if they ask me no matter how bad a dancer they are, I may suggest that I'll dance with them on the next track that is suitable (slower, faster, better, more salsa etc). I choose particular tracks to dance with beginners and non-dancers and save the best ones for my favourite followers.
- Keep the flow going. Make sure I'm in the right place just as the last track is going to end to invite my next follower or be invited.
- Don't let yourself get thrown. Sometimes you get out of sync with asking your favourite followers. Another guy always beats you to it. Or you're dancing with them on music you don't like and the track afterwards is the perfect one. People bump into you. You make mistakes. She makes mistakes. You lose your groove. Your partner isn't enjoying the dance and it's out of your control. Laugh it off and get back on track before it brings your whole night down.
That's it. Simples.
When outside of dancing, listen to Salsa music you love and watch videos of dancers you love. Makes me want to dance every time.
- I arrive when the party is starting to rock and leave as soon as it's no longer enjoyable for me, which is often the last Salsa track. Arrive, a few hellos, jacket off, hand out, dance.
- I dance every song I like and don't sit down or stop except to sip my drink between dances. I generally don't stand and watch. Though I might chat with friends if I'm not dancing this track for some reason.
- I usually only dance to music I like. Over the years the range of music I like has widened considerably. Some experimentation is always good.
- I ask followers I enjoy dancing with who enjoy dancing with me.
- Always prepare a choice of partner(s) before the last track ends.
- I'll try to fit the girl to the music. So I don't have to miss that rocking Salsa Dura or Timba because I'm dancing off time with someone who can't keep the beat. Although I won't reject someone if they ask me no matter how bad a dancer they are, I may suggest that I'll dance with them on the next track that is suitable (slower, faster, better, more salsa etc). I choose particular tracks to dance with beginners and non-dancers and save the best ones for my favourite followers.
- Keep the flow going. Make sure I'm in the right place just as the last track is going to end to invite my next follower or be invited.
- Don't let yourself get thrown. Sometimes you get out of sync with asking your favourite followers. Another guy always beats you to it. Or you're dancing with them on music you don't like and the track afterwards is the perfect one. People bump into you. You make mistakes. She makes mistakes. You lose your groove. Your partner isn't enjoying the dance and it's out of your control. Laugh it off and get back on track before it brings your whole night down.
That's it. Simples.
When outside of dancing, listen to Salsa music you love and watch videos of dancers you love. Makes me want to dance every time.
salsamarty
Son
I try to make sure I leave on an high note. Try to find someone with whom the dance will be merely enjoyable. Then leave. Otherwise, give it a week and go out again.
TrulyMadlyAmanda
Changui
have a good break - your batteries probably just needed recharging. dont worry, the (salsa) drugs still work...
sagitta
Changui
You are lucky, indeed! I remember when I started and felt that way. I used to dance all night until the club closed, go to an after party, get home at 5:00am,nap for an hour, get up/shower/have breakfast and go to work. I would nap through lunch (40min) to get through the day, and when I got home, but it was a crazy life. Then I started to pay more attention to the music and everything else and it changed, and now I take a more moderate approach as explained previously.
I'm sure the night will be great when you get back after your short break.
The biggest part of Salsa for me is the psychology and your mental state. If you already recognize it's a bad night, then you recognize it's not normal, which is something to take solace in. If I'm having a bad night? "Wow I suck tonight... I guess I had to break the streak of the last 4 great nights! Haha.... ok find an intermediate / beginner and take it slow..." and if the night doesn't go well.. "I'll get em next time" and I CRUSH it next time.
There is also something humbling about having a bad night, or a bad dance. I've completely reinvented my lead through bad nights or bad dances: take it as a learning experience! Great Salsa nights are fun, but I cherish the bad ones too, because it really pushes me to be that much better next time.
There is also something humbling about having a bad night, or a bad dance. I've completely reinvented my lead through bad nights or bad dances: take it as a learning experience! Great Salsa nights are fun, but I cherish the bad ones too, because it really pushes me to be that much better next time.
desconocida
Son
Have another drink. One more if it doesn't help the situation. Another one if it still sucks beyond bearable. Recommendable? No! Helpful? Most of the time 
Have another drink. One more if it doesn't help the situation. Another one if it still sucks beyond bearable. Recommendable? No! Helpful? Most of the time
Haha hear hear to that XD