miércoles
Changui
I'd be very interested to hear your experiences on this subject.
My wife and I started salsa classes a few months ago with a view to learning together, attending the same courses and progressing at the same pace.
However, last night after our class, it became clear that this is not going to quite pan out as we imagined, because, although we of comparable natural ability and learn at a similar pace, our levels of motivation (addiction? :lol: ) differ immensely and our general attitude is different.
Our lessons have been disrupted by our wedding weekend and subsequent honeymoon. We've missed four formal lessons and four informal practice sessions.We're away for a few days next week too and as a result will be missing another week's lessons.
Whilst I find this incredibly frustrating and feel the best solution is to double up on classes this week, my wife would rather skip lessons altogether and resume when we're back.
Whilst I can see her point, I just feel I have to take every possible opportunity to attend classes, to practice and just to dance and learn as much as I can.
She enjoys dancing and learning but is happy to do it at a relaxed tempo and, if I'm being really critical, doesn't want to have to work too hard (fair enough I suppose, it's 'only a hobby').
I, on the other hand, spend almost every waking moment running through what I've learned in my head, practising my steps on the way to the kitchen etc. and just want to learn as much as I can and as quickly as I can. I'd be at Salsa class every night if it were possible!
We had a chat and finally came to the conclusion that I basically have so much more hunger; I "need" to dance and attend classes much more. The way things have developed I seem to want to go dancing three or four times for every time my wife wants to dance.
I realise this is unusual in itself, i.e. it's usually the woman who are left frustrated by a partner who is hard to motivate and whose learning curve drags way behind her own. However, I digress and the issue I wanted to raise applies whichever way round it is.
Luckily, my wife and I came to an arrangement before we'd done too much bickering at one another. :lol:
I have agreed to stop putting my wife under too much pressure to motivate her to attend classes if she happens not to be in the mood, and in turn, she has agreed I can attend classes and go out dancing at any time without her whenever I want to (after all it will not be a problem for me to "go it alone" as both in class and at the local salsa events there is usually a surplus of followers). This way, I get to satisfy my addiction and my wife doesn't start to associate Salsa classes with the negative experience of me moaning at her to get ready for class.
Yes, I realise what a great tolerant wife I have and I genuinely believe we have come to the best possible arrangement for our situation.
Of course, in time it will lead to me advancing much quicker than she does as I'm certain I will be attending at least two classes per week whilst she attends one.
So how do you think this will work out in the long term? Will this become a problem? Will I become frustrated when she can't keep up?
Or could this (ironically) even benefit us in the long run? My wife is a very natural, instinctive dancer so maybe it's better that I, as the leader, put in more work. I'm sure that if I learn to lead well, she'll be able to follow quite a lot of stuff without having specifically learnt the moves.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I would be very interested to hear your opinions and any experiences you may have to share about learning with your significant other.
How did/do things work for you? What problems did/do you face? How did/do you deal with it?
My wife and I started salsa classes a few months ago with a view to learning together, attending the same courses and progressing at the same pace.
However, last night after our class, it became clear that this is not going to quite pan out as we imagined, because, although we of comparable natural ability and learn at a similar pace, our levels of motivation (addiction? :lol: ) differ immensely and our general attitude is different.
Our lessons have been disrupted by our wedding weekend and subsequent honeymoon. We've missed four formal lessons and four informal practice sessions.We're away for a few days next week too and as a result will be missing another week's lessons.
Whilst I find this incredibly frustrating and feel the best solution is to double up on classes this week, my wife would rather skip lessons altogether and resume when we're back.
Whilst I can see her point, I just feel I have to take every possible opportunity to attend classes, to practice and just to dance and learn as much as I can.
She enjoys dancing and learning but is happy to do it at a relaxed tempo and, if I'm being really critical, doesn't want to have to work too hard (fair enough I suppose, it's 'only a hobby').
I, on the other hand, spend almost every waking moment running through what I've learned in my head, practising my steps on the way to the kitchen etc. and just want to learn as much as I can and as quickly as I can. I'd be at Salsa class every night if it were possible!
We had a chat and finally came to the conclusion that I basically have so much more hunger; I "need" to dance and attend classes much more. The way things have developed I seem to want to go dancing three or four times for every time my wife wants to dance.
I realise this is unusual in itself, i.e. it's usually the woman who are left frustrated by a partner who is hard to motivate and whose learning curve drags way behind her own. However, I digress and the issue I wanted to raise applies whichever way round it is.
Luckily, my wife and I came to an arrangement before we'd done too much bickering at one another. :lol:
I have agreed to stop putting my wife under too much pressure to motivate her to attend classes if she happens not to be in the mood, and in turn, she has agreed I can attend classes and go out dancing at any time without her whenever I want to (after all it will not be a problem for me to "go it alone" as both in class and at the local salsa events there is usually a surplus of followers). This way, I get to satisfy my addiction and my wife doesn't start to associate Salsa classes with the negative experience of me moaning at her to get ready for class.
Yes, I realise what a great tolerant wife I have and I genuinely believe we have come to the best possible arrangement for our situation.
Of course, in time it will lead to me advancing much quicker than she does as I'm certain I will be attending at least two classes per week whilst she attends one.
So how do you think this will work out in the long term? Will this become a problem? Will I become frustrated when she can't keep up?
Or could this (ironically) even benefit us in the long run? My wife is a very natural, instinctive dancer so maybe it's better that I, as the leader, put in more work. I'm sure that if I learn to lead well, she'll be able to follow quite a lot of stuff without having specifically learnt the moves.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I would be very interested to hear your opinions and any experiences you may have to share about learning with your significant other.
How did/do things work for you? What problems did/do you face? How did/do you deal with it?
). So, by doing more, I'm probably keeping up with her level so far.
