Top Ten Things On The Dance Floor Girls Do And Guys Hate

S

SalsaTO

Changui
Did we truly hit the top ten things... or if we missed anything... put it down and another Top Ten might come your way...

We're putting together a Top Ten Things On The Dance Floor Girls Do And Guys Hate.

Guys, cough up your peeves....

Quoting directly from a few of the female respondants to our query. Regarding the martial arts... None of that serenity and discipline and anatomy stuff.
And take a peek at the pic below...

The Quotes,

"Too hard lead that hurts."
"Too hard of a lead that physically hurts."
"Stop yanking my body around.
Doing crazy turn patterns badly, meaning they break your arm!"
"Release-me-from-your-kung-fu-grip."
"Hand-crushing (the worst, most inexcusable offense in my book)."

About 'hard' moves,

"Its very rude to start with very hard moves right off the bat;"
"It's great when leads adjust to their follow -- gradually ramping up to see what she's comfortable with, and being responsive to what she seems to like or have trouble with. asking on1 or on1 is part of this, i'd say."
 

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SalsaTO said:
We're putting together a Top Ten Things On The Dance Floor Girls Do And Guys Hate.

Guys, cough up your peeves....
Click to expand...

Not in any particular order:
1. Arms-of-steel. This was discussed in a previous thread.
2. Dancing cumbia to a salsa song.
3. Rushing your steps and turns.
4. Acting bored 5 seconds into the song. (Basically makes me think that she just doesn't like my looks, so why didn't she say 'no'.)
5. She's used to dancing with the Cuban guys, and she's NOT going to adapt to my X-body style, so she expects me to shove her around like her usual partners (who I think probably aren't good Cuban dancers).
6. Dancing 'big' in a crowded club, so I wear myself out trying to keep her from being a hazard to the other dancers.
 
Okay here's mine. In no particular order, I don't have time for that now.

1. Placing her free hand on her hip as a neutral position. She's always late to take your hand because of it.
2. Counter leading... this is different from backleading. With counter leading she eventually does what you want but she doesn't use your signals or assist.
3. Backleading / Anticipating
4. Overstyling/Exagerated cuban hip motion - sometimes at inappropriate moments.
5. Accepting invites when you really don't want to. Do not accept a dance invite if you are going to sport that frowny, distant facial expression through out or if you don't have any intention of trying to adapt to his style.
6. Death grip
7. Never asks for dances even if she's danced with you before.
 
Also in no particular order -- not because I don't have time, but rather because I'm lazy :)

1. Death grip, especially while turning. Lateral force plus finger joints /= happy times.

2. Giant steps. If I have the T-Rex arms going all dance I shouldn't still have to make extreme efforts to reign you in and avoid collisions.

3. General unruliness. I'm just lumping backleading, overstyling, and hijacking together here. Please trust me to give you space to do your thing; I'll even play off what you do! But I'm the leader so lets follow my plan, k? And in terms of styling, if you can't completely execute it between signals, just don't do it.

4. Cement dance shoes. Move your feet. Right left right, left right left. I don't want to drag you about.

5. Giving a half-ash effort. If you don't want to dance -- with me or just in general at that point in time -- just say no. You aren't being kind and doing me a favor by saying yes and then giving me nothing to work with.

6. Letting go. This is more of a minor peeve, but it disrupts what I'm planning to do. If I don't need your hand at a given point in time I'll let it go. Unless you're trying to avoid injury, maintain the connection. If you are trying to avoid injury, please feel free to use the recently-freed hand to give me a slap for putting you in that position (j/k).

7. Poor tension. Partially ties into the collision avoidance thing mentioned in #2 because it tends to correspond with the follower getting too far away. But also with proper tension, I (using my knowledge of anatomy gained from martial arts :P) can direct you with a little bit of pressure in the right places instead of having to strong-arm it.

I'm going to stop there because I just decided to go dancing XD. I might add/edit later.
 
azzey said:
I think she means Salsa is supposed to be a date free zone. At least, while dancing. I can imagine some girls get hit on a lot.
Click to expand...

that brings me to my things that girls do:

8. stop trying to establish dancing as a date-free zone. We already have that in the workplace. It's a social dance and social includes boinking. Go do zumba or something if you don't want to meet men.

9. I do not disappear as soon as a higher-ranking leader enters the room. Please at least finish your sentence before ignoring me for the rest of the night.
 
SalsaTO said:
Did we truly hit the top ten things... or if we missed anything... put it down and another Top Ten might come your way...

We're putting together a Top Ten Things On The Dance Floor Girls Do And Guys Hate.
Click to expand...


Fairly sure there were a few long threads about follows and leads pet hates before.
 
1. Gripping and holding onto my hands (sometimes painfully) throughout the dance so I can't change move easily.

2. Accepting invites when you really don't want to. Not making any effort in the dance.

3. Blaming me for your issues - not being able to follow anything, bad timing etc.

4. Saying no and then forcing you to dance with their friend (or be rude to them).

5. Using you to learn instead of classes. I'm all for enthusiastic learners but you can tell when you're being used.

6. Cement shoes.

7. Letting go.
 
azzey said:
3. Blaming me for your issues - not being able to follow anything, bad timing etc..
Click to expand...

This doesn't happen that frequently. It happened to me only a couple of times. Both of those were frustrated and bossy beginner ladies. We can lead and guide, but we have no control over your feet. We can make you look good but we are not magicians.

azzey said:
5. Using you to learn instead of classes. I'm all for enthusiastic learners but you can tell when you're being used.
Click to expand...

I know a lot of ladies who are under the mindset of..."oh, guys are slow learners. Followers have it easier. So I, as a follower, don't have to sit and space out in class while the teacher is teaching the leaders. I'll just find an advance lead and follow."

No, no, no sweetie pie! First, there can be a lot for a follow to gain from what the teacher is telling the leads. In classes I see a lot follows just tune out or start talking with each other when this happened. Pay attention. And second, we advance leads can tell if you're a beginner follower or an advance follower that sometimes misses a signal or something. You can't enjoy the crop until you put in your dues. I will extend the courtesy of dancing with you, but I will dumb down the patterns to just basics if I sense the connection you're giving me is not up to par or that your ability to stay on beat is shakey. Don't expect to be lead through an exciting dance with all the flairs, breaks, dips, spins etc...like you see the more experienced ladies do.
 
Latindancer006 said:
Don't expect to be lead through an exciting dance with all the flairs, breaks, dips, spins etc...like you see the more experienced ladies do.
Click to expand...

LOL. There's the girl who follows badly for a minute or two then, because I haven't led anything much (still waiting for the connection), she decides to put in a whole load of un-led spins to demonstrate that she's "better" than I think she is!

This thread really oughta be split!
 
1. Death Grip - I really don't enjoy having my fingers wrenched
2. Pulling on my arms to keep your balance during spins, or worse, when I'm doing something where an arm pull will throw me off balance
3. Too much resistance - if I want to do resistance training I'll go to the gym.
4. Saying "it doesn't matter" when asked if you want to dance on1 or on2, when you have no clue how to dance on2.

Fortunately these things happen to me less than 5% of the time...
 
And here are my two cents on this:

1. Taking 'big steps', when I try to keep our dancing small and compact.
2. Anticipating or guessing what I might lead rather then just following my lead.
3. Vice-like fingers, which make it difficult to turn the lady.
And related to my current scene:
4. Not keeping your arm/hand where I placed them.
 
Latindancer006 said:
I know a lot of ladies who are under the mindset of..."oh, guys are slow learners. Followers have it easier. So I, as a follower, don't have to sit and space out in class while the teacher is teaching the leaders. I'll just find an advance lead and follow."

No, no, no sweetie pie! First, there can be a lot for a follow to gain from what the teacher is telling the leads. In classes I see a lot follows just tune out or start talking with each other when this happened. Pay attention. And second, we advance leads can tell if you're a beginner follower or an advance follower that sometimes misses a signal or something. You can't enjoy the crop until you put in your dues. I will extend the courtesy of dancing with you, but I will dumb down the patterns to just basics if I sense the connection you're giving me is not up to par or that your ability to stay on beat is shakey. Don't expect to be lead through an exciting dance with all the flairs, breaks, dips, spins etc...like you see the more experienced ladies do.
Click to expand...

Regarding this: I freely admit that the bulk of my on2 dancing was acquired on the dance floor. In the six and a half years that I've been dancing salsa (casino, track-style on1, and on2), I've taken maybe four on2 classes on three different occasions (twice 6 yrs ago when it was class dominated by women, which meant I was waiting and waiting for a guy to be rotated to me; once two years ago before a big social; and last month before a social). Two years ago is when I started being less afraid of the "on2 monster," and that only happened because someone asked me to dance, but didn't ask if I danced on1 or on2. So I figured I better suck it up and follow (and I know I followed badly there), but even still, between that time and the beginning of this year, I danced with more frequency with three friends that I knew danced on2, and that has helped me a lot.

Within the last six months, though, I've been more open to going to socials, etc. where I know there are more on2 dancers (and as a means of broadening my dance experience on that front). When I'm asked to dance by someone with whom I've not danced before, and when given a choice between on1 or on2, I always say that I'm learning on2 so that the leader knows, out the gate, that, well, I'm learning. No bait and switch on my end.
 
sarita1011 said:
Regarding this: I freely admit that the bulk of my on2 dancing was acquired on the dance floor. In the six and a half years that I've been dancing salsa (casino, track-style on1, and on2), I've taken maybe four on2 classes on three different occasions (twice 6 yrs ago when it was class dominated by women, which meant I was waiting and waiting for a guy to be rotated to me; once two years ago before a big social; and last month before a social). Two years ago is when I started being less afraid of the "on2 monster," and that only happened because someone asked me to dance, but didn't ask if I danced on1 or on2. So I figured I better suck it up and follow (and I know I followed badly there), but even still, between that time and the beginning of this year, I danced with more frequency with three friends that I knew danced on2, and that has helped me a lot.

Within the last six months, though, I've been more open to going to socials, etc. where I know there are more on2 dancers (and as a means of broadening my dance experience on that front). When I'm asked to dance by someone with whom I've not danced before, and when given a choice between on1 or on2, I always say that I'm learning on2 so that the leader knows, out the gate, that, well, I'm learning. No bait and switch on my end.
Click to expand...
I think once you have serviceable technical skills in place as a follower, something like learning a different timing mostly or wholly on the social floor is totally acceptable. It's a lot less of a burden on the leaders when the basics are in place and you're just adjusting to the new timing than it is when you simply can't follow all that well.
 
Girls who dont put their hands on my shoulder. Its a minor anoyance. Instead they put it on my arm
Cup your hand. Instead of tangling it with my fingers.
Overstyling. And breaking loose when i clearly didnt let you loose.
Yeah it also bugs me when i have danced so many times with you yet when im near you will look for another partner instead of
Walking 2 steps to ask me.

Ha thats all i can think of.
 
Speaking of basics, I had one of the worst dances EVER last night: The woman's 'basic' consisted of shuffling side to side with no regard for the beat of the music. I usually like dancing with first-timers, but this was one of the few times I've been tempted to end the dance early.:-(
 
Couldn't resist posting:

1 ) No Hook - worse still a hook that's there one second and then disappears the next!
2 ) A sloppy hand - Feels like putting fingers in cold Porrage
3 ) Thumbs on the back of my hand
4 ) Finger Juggling - twiddling their fingers whilst I'm in contact with them
5 ) Have no concept of arm tone or dance frame - yes lead and follow does require arm tone so all the teachers out there that keep telling their students to loosen their arms to that of limp string ..... Pack it in! There's a difference to being light and not having arm tone. If you don't understand the concept don't bloody teach!
6 ) Can't control their own body weight without using my arm to hold them up or using it to pull on so they can start moving. If I wanted a resistance workout I'd go to the gym!
7 ) Spends more time styling and no time following - Too many 'good' followers out there that can't actually follow!
8 ) The look on their faces when I dance 'simple' - I would dance more complex but since you can't hook, have no concept of arm tone or dance frame, can't do a basic cross body with out dragging my arms about, can't do a basic step without throwing your body weight around, can't keep you bloody hand in the same place for 2 seconds. I'll keep dancing simple.
9 ) When asked would you like to dance on1 or on2 say condecendingly 'what ever', then when you dance on2 with them haven't got the foggiest!

I could go on put people might think I'm being picky plus it's late and I need to go to bed.

Night all.
 
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