the birthday dance

A

acpjr

Changui
I just came back from a social where a young lady was also celebrating her birthday and they did the thing where guys form a circle to take turns dancing with her.

I'm curious to be one of those guys but, like tonight, whenever there is a birthday dance I chicken out. I'm afraid of being stuck with birthday girl if no one cuts in.

Anyone care to share an interesting/funny/unfunny birthday dance story?
 
Usually it depends on who the other guys are. Some nights I go there and the men are mainly the arrogant, higher-than-thou bunch who wouldn't get involved. In that case there is a high chance of you getting stuck with a girl with no one taking over. This is, sadly, especially true if the girl is a beginner and very difficult to lead. Other nights you happen to have a lot of advanced, nice and friendly guys who would be happy to joinin.

This happened one time, when a girl's friends stupidly arranged to have a birthday dance but hadn't made sure there were enough guys around, or rather, hadn't correctly read the type of guys that made up that hot night crowd. (That means this was probably Friday but I forget)

Between a birthday girl feeling bad and a guy looking bad by dancing with her, what should one choose? The answer to a couple of us was easy. So we took it in turns to dance with this poor girl, smling and grinning all the way, alternating between me and him. That actually guilted some of the other dancers, even a couple of salsamafia, to join in, and in the end the girl ended up probably with 7 or 8 partner switches. I believe that was the only birthday dance with a beginner where so many high-intermediate and advanced dancers joined in.



It's sad the sort of attitudes prevalent among those who feel they have to be 'cool', or rather have a certain idea what 'being cool' means. But it's also a warning to anyone oraganising something like this for your friends: THINK AHEAD! Get guys/ gals ready who will keep the switches happening.
 
I avoid them like the plague.

It doesn't matter if the girl is a great follower or a beginner. It doesn't matter if she's a stranger of if she's a good friend.

One time there was an almost-can't-get-out-of-it situation with someone I was very good friends with and have known for a very long time - I met her about a year after I started, and I was one of the first friends for her arriving at a new scene. So after trying to hide for a while, I was obliged to join in - for all of two bars (1,2,3,5,6,7) before the song ended.

That was the only time I took a part.

I almost always give the birthday girl a dance for an entire song later.
 
I too avoid these like the plague.

Speaking as a guy, I thought the whole point of such dances was to showcase the birthday girl, but at least in my area it ends up being a bunch of guys trying to one up each other. Despite my general aversion to these I joined in one for a good friend's birthday a couple of year's ago, only to get no time in as several people kept stealing the birthday girl two and even three times.* Seeing how the birthday dance became a display of testosterone and rampant insecurity (who else has to be the center of attention, after all) and not the birthday girl, I haven't participated in a birthday dance since, and don't know if I ever will again.


* Granted in some situations the woman in question might ask to be kept away from someone she doesn't want in her birthday circle, but in this situation that was far from the case.
 
BTW ... who sings or plays the "happy birthday" salsa version? I tried to find it on several occasions but no luck.
 
As a female I opted out & no one announced me with bday dances. Mostly as a dont-want-to-be-watched type thing. And you have made a good point, what if people dont participate or participate fairly.
 
HF said:
BTW ... who sings or plays the "happy birthday" salsa version? I tried to find it on several occasions but no luck.
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There's more than one version... Around here Ray Barretto's "Happy Birthday Everybody" (youtube.com/watch?v=6CHe-DUamJ8 ) is the popular choice, but Johnny Polanco also recorded a version, which some of the DJs here use.
 
That's interesting. I think most people around here are pretty fair about time and really making an enjoyable experience for the birthday girl/boy as well as fun to watch. Usually it's more a question of the dancers really understanding how to enter/exit without too much awkwardness. There's not very much testosterone struggle. Inevitably a lot of it is shaped by if it's in a class/studio setting, who is the person leading/hosting/teaching there & what is that person's perspective & how is s/he modeling this?

Here folks do birthday dances not just for women / follows, but also for leads. And for one memorable time, the woman who assisted in teaching classes ... Students were reminded that she could lead & follow so it was great fun to see her switching & trying to guess if she was supposed to follow or lead into the next person's arms. I personally would find that very difficult, but fun to watch.
 
Didn't mean to imply that birthday dances were only for the women in my area. The guys get them too... but since they are (typically) the one leading in that situation, it doesn't become the same type of testosterone/ego display.
 
acpjr said:
Anyone care to share an interesting/funny/unfunny birthday dance story?
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Back to the original theme. This was several years ago at a salsa social in Chicago (that no longer happens). There were 4 of us who were regulars at this social and who have their birthday in the same week. It also happened that each of us prefers a different dance or style, so the birthday dance was advertised (paraphrased) as ...Mambero, Ruedero, Cumbianero and Esteppero celebrate their birthday.... The music we danced to was a salsa.

Some explanation: mambo, rueda and cumbia are obvious. Esteppero is spanglified for Stepper as in Chicago Stepper. Stepper music is typically 70's R&B. The dance step is similar to Swing with a very characteristic syncopation step in the middle of the measure.
 
I avoid them like the plague.
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Am I the only one who thinks birthday dances are nice? There was no tradition of birthday dances in Scotland, and I thought it was a great idea when I saw one for the first time in Tokyo.

acpjr said:
I'm curious to be one of those guys but, like tonight, whenever there is a birthday dance I chicken out. I'm afraid of being stuck with birthday girl if no one cuts in.
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Last night the birthday salsa song came on, and a girl I've never seen dragged her friend off his chair and started dancing. We all watched without forming a circle because none of us knew which of the two the dance was for. Then the guy released her and went back to his seat and the girl looked around, at which point we realised that it was *her* birthday, and guys quickly moved in to give her a decent birthday dance. Moral of the story: if you do want a birthday dance, make sure you have it where people know you!
 
I’ve never had ,nor wanted one of these. At the venues I’ve attended the format seems to be that people just cut in when they feel like it.

Not especially funny, but at the last one I was pushed forward by a friend about a third of the way through the song but no one else cut in! The lady was a regular and was getting more and more embarrassed by the fact no other guys wanted to dance with her.

[namedrop]I was at Super Mario’s last year which was quite a funny one – inevitably he was incredibly popular and as the song got in to its final stages ladies were clearly itching to dance with him. At first he led two simultaneously, then three…at the end I seem to remember him leading four or five ladies at the same time [/namedrop]
 
AndrewD said:
I’ve never had ,nor wanted one of these. At the venues I’ve attended the format seems to be that people just cut in when they feel like it.
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I don't want one either, but I appreciate that the more extrovert people thoroughly enjoy them.

One thing I'd really like would be for DJs to check with the person having a birthday whether they actually want a dance and abide with their wishes not their friends.

Also, they should organise it and announce the switches to prevent embarrassments.
 
I think they're pretty fun. Especially if the guys know each other, they'd intentionally step in to cut each other off. Sometimes my friends and I play this game, even if there's no birthday. The goal is to cut in and get the girl, on time, make it flow, when the other guy didn't intend on letting her go.

But I would never want to participate in the guy version of it for my birthday. It's too much work to remember which one of the women you danced with and try to be fair and give all the women equal time.
 
MacMoto said:
There's more than one version... Around here Ray Barretto's "Happy Birthday Everybody" (youtube.com/watch?v=6CHe-DUamJ8 ) is the popular choice, but Johnny Polanco also recorded a version, which some of the DJs here use.
Click to expand...

Ah, thank you!
 
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