Nonverbal Cues in Dancing

[WessexSalsero]

How about followers that stare you in the eyes and won't look elsewhere?

Or followers that breath heavily during a bachata? I wasn't sure if they just had bad cardio of if they were getting hot and bothered. And i dance close sometimes but not bachata sensual!

lol at the heavy breathing. I'd take it as a compliment. Unless you have mounted your partner.

I am starting to like certain partners who stare, particularly those who just smile and stare at me the whole dance.
On the other hand, staring in disbelief...that is a tricky one!

 

[Dancewithme]

during salsa?

During salsa mostly just leads with whom I have good connection and good relationship tend to do that. But there have been also other cases.
For a visible example in salsa - check at 0:37-0:40 at this video which was recently posted in another thread

Follower touches lead's face/cheek/chin and all is ok for him

Ofc in bachata this happens more and leads are more confident about girls not daring to say anything when they cross this or any other border

 

[Offbeat]

During salsa mostly just leads with whom I have good connection and good relationship tend to do that. But there have been also other cases.
For a visible example in salsa - check at 0:37-0:40 at this video which was recently posted in another thread

Follower touches lead's face/cheek/chin and all is ok for him

Ofc in bachata this happens more and leads are more confident about girls not daring to say anything when they cross this or any other border

Ran twice through 0:37-0:40 but couldn’t see the touch you mentioned.

I have experience both ends. Where follower would touch my face or chest in kind of intimate playful way (not sleazy). Sometimes it happens spontaneously in the moment, sometimes follower is really enjoying or may be can’t help herself or is what in cricket is called follow-through as result of the movement. I can’t remember any time it felt sleazy or repulsive. When done it has been tastefully. It has been done both by followers who are familiar and known as well as someone I am dancing first time with.

I don’t touch follower’s face or hair, but twice or thrice a year may do a chin lead (finger on side of follower’s chin to lead a turn). Never back fires but you have to read the follower and get the timing right, usually gets smiles, or fails when it fails. There are haircombs that can be made to affect a little intimacy without actual touching the follower or on certain moves slide the hand down follower’s arm from shoulder to palm with impression of fingers caressing the arm. Again without actually touching the arm.

It is part judgement, part finesse, part skill and timing, to introduce them into dancing without offending the partner. Mostly they are intended as playfulness and nothing more.

In my case I am twice or thrice times likely to be at the receiving end than be initiator

 

[hosearmando]

Most frequent nonverbal cues that I have received as a leader so far are:
- "don't stand too close" type of frame, tense shoulders
- opposite of that, too close, holding me like blood sucking insect
- holding a back of my head/neck with the hand during bachata - this one probably means "take me home after this dance"
- showing the direction of her next move with a focused look
- tensing up the hands/frame because she wants to do something else/improvise the next part of the song
- looking down on her/my feet - she can't figure out where the "1" is

I sometimes dance with followers who are looking bored as hell/thinking what's for dinner/etc so I do some very unexpected move which brings her back to the moment.

 

[Offbeat]

.

I am not dyslexic but every time my mind reads horse-mando instead of hose-Armando .

 

[AnthonyB63]

What if a bachata partner presses her whole body up against me and leans her cheek on mine every time we dance? That means she just likes the sensuality of the dance, right?

Or, she doesn't know the difference between bachata and kizomba But I've noticed that follows who've only learned sensual bachata tend to get much closer automatically than those who've learned modern/urban.

 

[jose armando]

I am not dyslexic but every time my mind reads horse-mando instead of hose-Armando .

perhaps better, I changed it now

The most awkward nonverbal cue I was giving was in my first year of salsa, elbow slap the follower's teetch while I was turning ouch - probably the best cue that I was a beginner

 

[Offbeat]

perhaps better, I changed it now

Much better!

 

[TikiTaka]

The most awkward nonverbal cue I was giving was in my first year of salsa, elbow slap the follower's teetch while I was turning ouch - probably the best cue that I was a beginner

Haha... i've elbowed a friend by mistake because she started backleading and pretty much dragged my elbow into her face. On another occasion a girl elbowed me when spinning... i thought it was more awkward to be elbowed because while i didn't feel anything, i felt bad because of the girl who was embarrased.

 

[TomSchueler]

People will crucify me for saying this, but I often felt that the

• Re-positioning of her right hand to put it higher up on my left shoulder (in the closed position) seemed to signal a willingness to close-dance.

Maybe because it feels less formal and more like hugging?

 

[TomSchueler]

Also, concerning certain people in both casino and Cuban salsa:

• Another leader touching your back or tipping you on the shoulder = I am an attention ***** and idiot who does neither care about my partner nor you and your partner's connection but I do think gaining someone's attention mid-dance by tipping him on the shoulder like an eight year old schoolboy is a lot of fun to me. Also sometimes an invite to switch partners, which is even worse.

 

[Offbeat]

People will crucify me for saying this, but I often felt that the

• Re-positioning of her right hand to put it higher up on my left shoulder (in the closed position) seemed to signal a willingness to close-dance.

Maybe because it feels less formal and more like hugging?

It is the left arm of follower against leaders right shoulder that usually indicates what distance is comfortable to a follower.

 

[RogueBlader]

Tongue-in-cheek, this happened without saying a word (interpretations all mine):

Me: Walks up to woman who is sitting down, holds out open right hand to her. Interpretation: the universal signal of asking for a dance.
Follow: Looks at me, checks me out from top to bottom with her eyes, then tilts her head slightly down, eyes locked on to me, slight body movement away from me. Interpretation: "I don't think you are good enough to dance with the likes of me."
Me: I match her stare, tilting my head down and to the right, right eyebrow raised, hand still outstretched. Interpretation: "I've danced with better dancers than you and I don't care for your attitude and I'm still happy to dance. Do you want to or not?"

She accepted the invitation. It wasn't a great dance, but it was good enough at the time. Of course, I have no idea what she actually thought - this stuck out because no one before or since had ever displayed this type of attitude to me in a salsa setting. Perhaps it is just as well.

 

[Smiley79]

People will crucify me for saying this, but I often felt that the

• Re-positioning of her right hand to put it higher up on my left shoulder (in the closed position) seemed to signal a willingness to close-dance.

Maybe because it feels less formal and more like hugging?

Odd closed position. Usually their left hand is on my right shoulder. My left and her right are clasped.

Are you talking about her basically draping both of her arms over each shoulder like an embrace you see often in slow dance?

If so, then sure, I would take it as a desire for a more intimate dance (obviously you didn't move her hand) I've seen videos (and live) where they do that once in a while when the song offers that level of intimacy (and do the Latin motion as one).

I've had the follow do cheek to cheek thing (which I find strange even with Romantica) and not sure how to lead out of it.

 

[manzanadulce]

perhaps better, I changed it now

lol i don't think we've interacted on here before my but husband is also josé and once he ordered an uber for us to go to dinner in the city and the driver was an indian guy and when we got in the car he confirmed that he did in fact pick up josé--only problem was that he pronounced the name "HOSE". I still laugh about that 3 years later.

 

[wol]

Tongue-in-cheek, this happened without saying a word (interpretations all mine):
Me: Walks up to woman who is sitting down, holds out open right hand to her. Interpretation: the universal signal of asking for a dance.
Follow: Looks at me, checks me out from top to bottom with her eyes, then tilts her head slightly down, eyes locked on to me, slight body movement away from me. Interpretation: "I don't think you are good enough to dance with the likes of me."

I actually now enjoy these non-verbal exchanges with partners who do not know me and judge from the looks
That stare from to top to bottom and unmistakable face expresion "OMG, another old creep, who cant dance and even keep some kind of timing. I should really say no, but I havent danced several songs and really do not want to look rude ...". So she puts the expresiion of ethernal suffering and accepts the dance. I enjoy watching how expression slowly changes to disbelief, that dance is working, then to smile.
What is fascinating in these dances, that I really do not have to do much, when starting from such a low expectations and followers relief and joy is so real ...
Not, that it always work this way. Sometimes I stay an old creep to the end of the song together with suffering expression.

 

[RogueBlader]

I enjoy watching how expression slowly changes to disbelief, that dance is working, then to smile.

I've had that as well - the change in facial expression during the dance that says "Oh wow, he's much better than I expected, I have to up my game!", highlighted by eyes widening during a complex move and a smile when properly executed. Followed up by a hug lasting more that the usual 1 second after the dance.

 

[TomSchueler]

Odd closed position. Usually their left hand is on my right shoulder. My left and her right are clasped.

Are you talking about her basically draping both of her arms over each shoulder like an embrace you see often in slow dance?

If so, then sure, I would take it as a desire for a more intimate dance (obviously you didn't move her hand) I've seen videos (and live) where they do that once in a while when the song offers that level of intimacy (and do the Latin motion as one).

I've had the follow do cheek to cheek thing (which I find strange even with Romantica) and not sure how to lead out of it.

You're right, I was talking about the ususal closed position. My left and her right hand remain tight but she positions her left hand higher (closer to my neck) on my right shoulder but without a full embrace with both hands.

 

[Mr Setenta]

opposite of that, too close, holding me like blood sucking insect

One of my first Kizomba classes, a girl used to stick to me so hard it felt like we morph into one body. Problem was she was shorter than me and i had a bad habit of bending my knees too much. When my legs got tired, It'd be impossible to straighten my legs without picking her up off the ground, so I'd spend the next couple minutes either holding my breath or shivering in pain good times

 

[Dissonant Harmony]

During salsa mostly just leads with whom I have good connection and good relationship tend to do that. But there have been also other cases.
For a visible example in salsa - check at 0:37-0:40 at this video which was recently posted in another thread

Follower touches lead's face/cheek/chin and all is ok for him

Ofc in bachata this happens more and leads are more confident about girls not daring to say anything when they cross this or any other border

God, two weeks ago I danced Bachata with a woman who pretty much bombarded me with such flirts and teases.

I often laugh abut "Sensual Bachata" that its "sensuality" is fake and you can easily see how "plastic" the "sexy gestures", or "styling" common in this dance are...

But boy, her "game" was too strong, and *without* feeling "plastic" at all. In fact - the only reason why I could tell was because it was too "strong".