Make the most of your night, while you're out of town...

[salsachinita]

For those of you who have travelled out of your home town, any tips on making the most of your salsa nights out.....?

Here are some of mine to share :

If you are in one of those 'dancer's club' (ie. most people are non-drinkers, large number of studio dancers, lots of fancy moves on the floor), have a look & locate the people whose moves/styles you might feel most comfortable with; then ask them for a dance.

At clubs like this, there is a tendency (especially when you are a new face) that people might judge you for your first couple of dances. If you do well & have fun, you will most likely get lots of offers and be set for the night. (the downs side is, if you don't do well at first, you might have a hard time getting more dances for the rest of the night. It happens to the best of us :roll: )

So I look for the female whose dancing style is most like mine, then pay attention to who she dances with ! Works like a charm.

If you happen to find a club with a large Latino presence, and most of them can & do dance, you might have to observe a bit closely before you ask anyone for a dance....just in case they were saving that dance for someone special . Try to sus out the singles from the ones who are singles-but-interested-in-someone.......this may not be obvious at first :? .

Stick with the policy of no more than two songs in a row with a stranger, just in case they get the wrong idea that you may be interested in more than dancing :shock: . If you like dancing with them you can always ask for another one later.

The reason I stick to these tips is that salsa is more than just a dance for a lot of the Latinos. It forms part of their courtship ritual.......with all the subtlties involved.

Believe me, I've learnt it the hard way once upon a time :lol: !

(Needless to say, stay away from the sleazeballs/drunks.)

Anyone else got tips/experiences to share....?

 

[ArtsySalsera]

So I look for the female whose dancing style is most like mine, then pay attention to who she dances with ! Works like a charm.

Good tip. I hadn't thought of that strategy but have thought of the others

The reason I stick to these tips is that salsa is more than just a dance for a lot of the Latinos. It forms part of their courtship ritual.......with all the subtlties involved.

...."Courtship Ritual?" ...but SC, you are describing the behavior in regular clubs across the world too not just in salsa clubs. I think... (somebody correct me if I'm wrong on this next point) I think that the courtship ritual game is done to a greater more obvious degree in regular clubs. They are called meat markets.
I used to think that dance was first in a salsa club and that the hook up part was secondary. Wrong, because enticing and flirting is inherent in the dance. I guess I've just been so serious about dancing well, that I haven't really been paying attention to the flirt part even though I dress and dance the flirt part.
I know it depends on the two people involved.
:?: Anyone care to comment? Don't mean to go off topic but have been pondering that point for a bit.

 

[MacMoto]

...."Courtship Ritual?" ...but SC, you are describing the behavior in regular clubs across the world too not just in salsa clubs. I think... (somebody correct me if I'm wrong on this next point) I think that the courtship ritual game is done to a greater more obvious degree in regular clubs. They are called meat markets.
I used to think that dance was first in a salsa club and that the hook up part was secondary. Wrong, because enticing and flirting is inherent in the dance. I guess I've just been so serious about dancing well, that I haven't really been paying attention to the flirt part even though I dress and dance the flirt part.
I know it depends on the two people involved.
:?: Anyone care to comment? Don't mean to go off topic but have been pondering that point for a bit.

The way I tend to see it these days is that salsa clubs are populated by three groups of people: salsa dancers, latinos and regular clubbers/drinkers.

To regular clubbers/drinkers, salsa clubs are no different than any other night clubs; they go there to drink, socialise and pick up. They don't dance, or at least they don't dance salsa the way we recognise as salsa dancing -- they treat salsa music in the same way as music played at any other clubs, and dancing is very much a courtship ritual. "Would you like to dance?" almost always means "I fancy you".

Latinos go to salsa clubs to socialise. The music and dance are part of their culture. They can often dance, some very good, some not so, and dancing may well be a courtship ritual to them (I rarely get asked to dance by latinos so can't confirm how often this is the case, but I take SC's word for it).

Then we have salsa dancers -- us. We are dance addicts. We go to salsa clubs to dance. Of course there are many singles among us hoping to meet someone through salsa (which makes sense considering the amount of time we devote to salsa), but that's not (usually) WHY we are there. It's great to dance with someone you are attracted to, but we also dance with many people we are totally uninterested in. Dancing is a courtship ritual ONLY WHEN we are dancing with someone we are interested in. Enticing and flirting is inherent in the dance, yes, but it's not always purposeful. We flirt as we dance with married ones, partnered ones, friends, strangers... it does not necessarily signify romantic or sexual chemistry; it's dance chemistry.

The mix of these three groups varies a lot from club to club, and also from one night to another (e.g., meat market on Fri/Sat, pure salsa dancing on weekdays). It pays to get some info in advance when you are travelling and, as SC says, also watch and observe the general dynamics of the club once you are there.

 

[salsachinita]

Thanks, MM, for clarifying !

On top of what MM has so eloquently worded, let me explain a little further.

There are different dynamics in the 'courtship rituals' between the regular club/bars, and the Latino (old-school) ways I'm talking about (which may or may not exist in your area).

Latinos go to socialise first, dance second. Most people make connections & form bonds this way. Excellent for newly immigrated people.

Yes, the ultimate goal IS to meet someone, perhaps further. But if you are a regular to a certain place, there is a need for taking care of your reputation on both parties. A closer-knit community means that people can, and do, keep an eye on each other (hence sleazes beware !). Think of it as one of those community dances, where your relatives/close family friends might be present.

If you like someone, you dance with them.....song after song if possible. If they agree, they like you. Simple. You may ask for their number, you may give them yours. You might do nothing, but then, you might reserve that bolero/bachata for them instead. You want to wait for the right song, the right moment.......

Salsa addicts who go to dance has a different set of priorities. The idea is to dance as much as possible, even better if you have some one to dance with for every song. Even better if they are great ! You want to grab that amazing guy/girl who looked sooooooo cool dancing with what's-his/her-name a second ago. Quick, the song is ending, get ready to ask......!

Can you see the two thinking patterns starting to emerge....? Even if (at a glance) the behaviour seems all the same....?

All I'm saying is, pay a little attention to the subtlties (besides dancing) around you. Especially if you are visiting from out of town. You don't want to ask for a dance at the wrong time.....

 

[ArtsySalsera]

To all of the above....YES I know and have realized these things early on, I'm just saying that in regular clubs people go there to socialize and it's a courtship ritual there as well, not just in salsa clubs among latinos.

I'm saying that I'm an insatiable dancer (can never get too many good dances, usually not for romantic reasons) and USED TO think that I was supposed to dance with everybody there at a salsa club or something close to it until I realized that people were there for different reasons like the reasons of the groups MacMoto mentioned.....but it's good that you delineated it all as it might clarify it for someone who is a new salsa addict and wondering about this.

 

[ArtsySalsera]

(I rarely get asked to dance by latinos so can't confirm how often this is the case, but I take SC's word for it).

Also I wanted to thank you both for your honesty in this and other threads about the "asking for dances". I was relaying some of this to a fellow salsera/girlfriend who was feeling upset about asking for dances most of the time and it made her feel better about asking.

 

[tj]

Let me chime in so that I can agree with what you've said here.

Sure, if there's some mutual attraction going on, I'll ask a woman out. But I'm primarily there to have a good time dancing, and just dancing, nothing more expected.