I'm sorry, I don't dance your style...

Brownskin818

Brownskin818

Changui
Do you only ask people to dance who you see dancing "your" particular style (if you have one)? I've had it happen to me twice where I've asked a guy to dance and have been initially turned down with that excuse. Neither guy meant it in a rude way... both were rather meek and seemed sincerely apologetic about it (...and were also good dancers to boot). But they just assumed that based on how they saw me dancing with some _____ style leader, that that's definitively how I danced. I ended up dancing with the guys on both occasions, and simply adjusted my style to match theirs. But it just irritated me to no end that I'd been pigeonholed into "oh, she must (exclusively :roll:) dance _____" and then turned down because of it! Is it that hard to fathom that I could enjoy other styles as well?? :? Bah hum bug.

Anywho, actual thread topic :P: How flexible are you with your style? If you're in a CBL dominated scene for example, do you enjoy or run from the chance to dance cuban? If you're a usual NYC type mambo'er, would a hard and fast LA salsero scare you or intrigue you?

If you only have one style and you unknowingly end up in a dance with someone who can't adjust to your style, what do you do? How big of a style stickler are you?
 
Well, for my part, I prefer to dance slot style (on2) but I started out on 1 and can follow that pretty well (although my technique could be a bit better I think). :) I also can dance cuban style, especially with someone who can really get down (you know, like with one of those old guys who wears a hat and a chacabana). But I know what you mean: case in point, I danced with Ricardo at the SFO congress (of Ricardo and Viviana) and I really didn't enjoy my dance with him very much. Other than seeming rather disinterested, he seemed to assume I wouldn't be able to keep up or dance Columbian style, and I think I was up for the challenge!

I will admit though, I hate the cumbia style where the guy just throws me around--I will pretend utter ignorance how to dance it if at all possible!
 
I can be guilty of this. If I *only* see you dancing with a few select people, then I'm likely to just leave you alone and concentrate on dancing with others.
 
I do know that only certain people like my style. I feel it when I dance with them. I can adapt to a certain extent, but my pot pourri of styles will probably slip through.
 
Brownskin818 said:
Do you only ask people to dance who you see dancing "your" particular style (if you have one)?
Click to expand...

I am very reluctant to ask anyone who mostly dances Cuban, although I had some great experiences with some flexible follows. OTOH, I am not good enough to be too conscious about NY vs. LA differences.

Ignorance is bliss. It seems the better I get in one style the less inclined I get to dance other styles.
 
This is funny. If they are good dancers I am not sure why they turned you down especially when you were the one who asked. I turned down an instructor once when I just started dancing, but I told her I would be back when I was better. And I did, 6 months later.. lol. But at least, I was an absolute beginner unlike these guys. Nowadays I dance with pretty much everybody, esp. those who ask.

Brownskin818 said:
Do you only ask people to dance who you see dancing "your" particular style (if you have one)? I've had it happen to me twice where I've asked a guy to dance and have been initially turned down with that excuse. Neither guy meant it in a rude way... both were rather meek and seemed sincerely apologetic about it (...and were also good dancers to boot). But they just assumed that based on how they saw me dancing with some _____ style leader, that that's definitively how I danced. I ended up dancing with the guys on both occasions, and simply adjusted my style to match theirs. But it just irritated me to no end that I'd been pigeonholed into "oh, she must (exclusively :roll:) dance _____" and then turned down because of it! Is it that hard to fathom that I could enjoy other styles as well?? :? Bah hum bug.

Anywho, actual thread topic :P: How flexible are you with your style? If you're in a CBL dominated scene for example, do you enjoy or run from the chance to dance cuban? If you're a usual NYC type mambo'er, would a hard and fast LA salsero scare you or intrigue you?

If you only have one style and you unknowingly end up in a dance with someone who can't adjust to your style, what do you do? How big of a style stickler are you?
Click to expand...
 
I confess I only like to dance one style.

Cuban, that is. Since I was a kid.

I was interested in learning slot-styles as they look nice, but I found it to "bland", too much "show" too litle "swing" for my taste, so I just stopped doing it.

Now, I have invited to dance girls that I see are very good doing NY style. But with me simply there is no connection. I don't have fun, they seem not to have fun with me.

The two styles have different feelings, and I don't feel tuned on that style. I see couples dancing wonderfully that style, so I am not looking it down, It is simply that I am not into it for now.

So yes, I only dance with girls that love to dance Cuban and we have plenty of fun together.

And then when I see a girl that is good and enjoys the other style I don't ask her because I beleive we won't be tuned, as it has happened plenty of times, maybe this is just a wrong idea.
 
Brownskin818 said:
Anywho, actual thread topic :P: How flexible are you with your style? If you're in a CBL dominated scene for example, do you enjoy or run from the chance to dance cuban? If you're a usual NYC type mambo'er, would a hard and fast LA salsero scare you or intrigue you?
Click to expand...
I like variety. In Edinburgh the majority of leaders are on1 slot dancers, so I tend to have an ongoing craving for on2 and Cuban. But when I go to Glasgow for my Cuban fix, I start craving for slot again. If I end up in an on2 dominant place, I will probably start craving for on1 and Cuban after a while...

I sometimes have guys warn me that they "only dance Cuban" or "only dance on1" when I ask for a dance. I just say that's fine. I haven't had anyone using that as a reason for refusing a dance. I prefer dancing in the style the leader's comfortable with anyway - you usually get the best result that way.
 
I'm thinking, and I have to say that I can't say I enjoy dancing more with a lead of one style over another. For me it's totally up to a lead's personality and how much he feels the music. For instance, one of my favorite leads dances both LA and Cuban, right now, I seem to be enjoying Mambo overall more, BUT, a dance with him is a blast any day of the week.

The one thing that definitely kills a dance for me is a lead being off time. So I guess...personality makes it, but timing can break it...all the rest is just icing.

But back to what you were saying, that's one of my Salsa-worries...that someone will see me dancing On1 well and not chance On2 with me or vice versa. Sometimes though, for fun, I'll style on the opposite beat of whatever style we're dancing (if he lets me solo) and hope leads will notice.

I guess the best way to beat it is to start asking for dances (without leaving it open to a yes or no) and asking for a dance On1, On2, or whatever you know the lead specializes in.
 
Brownskin818 said:
How flexible are you with your style?
Click to expand...
After I became much more of a club regular when I got serious about my Salsa lessons about 7 years ago, I saw people doing different movements on the dance floor to Salsa music, and I thought they were just different Salsa steps -- rather than competing styles. I didn't realize that some people isolated the moves into compartments, so I simply tried to imitate whatever move looked good to me, without even knowing what compartment it fit into. To this day, I'll mix up movements from a variey of different styles all in the same song. However, if I notice that the follower is familiar with only one style, then I'll stick with that. I consider myself to be extremely flexible for any style that can be danced On1 (LA, Cuban, Colombian, whatever). I just know that I suck On2 (unless I'm dancing Chachacha), so I gave up trying to become proficient On2.

I have certainly experienced several occasions where I asked a woman to dance and her first words were something like "I don't how to dance the way you dance." :? For some people (especially those who grew up in one Latin country or most of their friends are from the same Latin country), the different ways of dancing Salsa are considered to be completely different dances since 95% of the times they've seen it and danced it were all the same way. Plus, there are definitely lots of leaders who don't know different styles, so perhaps those women have had bad experiences with leaders who don't know how to adjust.

This all reminds me of a woman whom I asked to dance Bachata last month. It started out with my asking her to dance and her first words in response were, "Do you know how to dance it?" That's always my first sign that somebody came from a narrow background, since I don't "look" or sound like the people that she visualized as being Bachata/Salsa/Merengue dancers. (I'm not Latino and my voice doesn't have any accent.) When I said "yes," then she accepted my invitation, so I give her credit for that. I started off with normal basics, like I always do, and about minute into the song I led her into a simple inside turn -- and right after she finished turning she said, "There are no turns in Bachata." :roll: Then I just said, "Well, different people dance it different ways." I didn't turn her anymore during the dance, although I turned myself a couple of times. As we were walking off the floor, I thanked her and repeated, "Different people dance it different ways." She responded, "Well, I'm from the Dominican Republic and we don't do turns in Bachata." Yeah, umm, okay. :P She had good rhythm so it's too bad that she didn't want to open her mind to different possibilities for the dance.
 
Big10 said:
Brownskin818 said:
How flexible are you with your style?
Click to expand...

I am super-uber-flexible with the styles. that's the fun part about being a girl isn't it?? we get to experience them all & try out all different hats in one night.

I do, however, probably limit who I seek out to dance with -- if they are approachable then I'll approach, if not, then I won't. But I think approachability is different from dancing style. That is personality style!

What I found funny, was coming down the the Atlanta congress. I had one guy ask and he lead one style.... after that, I had a string of guys, all assuming that was the style that I danced. It wasn't! But that was fine.
Many of them were happiest when they asked what style I prefered, and my answer was "no preference".
Click to expand...
 
I've been not very flexible about my style in the past, as I only had learned on1. When I sometime ago, started to learn on2, I opened up a bit to get some experience. But I still wasn't very flexible and danced only1 with only very exceptions. But then one event changed my view and opinion and made me very flexible: I went to the berlin congress and asked one lady for a dance. As we went to the dancefloor, she told me she dances only cuban style. I had thankfully learned to dance rueda some time ago, so I was able to dance casino style with her and she seemed to enjoy it. As she thanked me afterwards for the dance, I realized that I don't need to restrict myself to a certain style.

When it comes to unknown ladies, I either just ask them for a dance and adapt my style to her. Or I watch her first a bit and then ask her offering to dance on1 or on2 if I' ve seen her dance cbl style. I certainly have a preference to dance on1 or on2 (where I need more experience), as I enjoy the slot-style. I don't mind dancing cuban, if that's the only style the lady knows and wants to dance.
 
HHHmmm, most everyone out here that dances regularly (and attends the clubs I go to) can all dance on 1 (there are some on 2 dancers - but they generally can also dance on 1). The only problem I run into are cumbia dancers.

Sometimes I will inadvertantly ask a cumbia dancer to dance - or sometimes they will ask me. Its pretty awkward. I really can't dance cumbia - I can't really even fake it. I can try and force them into LA style salsa - but then they always seem to go back into their cumbia patterns. Or I will try and just flow with it - do the best cumbia I can and get the dance over with as soon as possible.
 
Fortunately, here in Montreal everybody dances a bit of everything, so style is never an issue when I get asked to dance. In fact, the really good dancers here will blend all the styles as nesessary to navigate the dancefloor and to fit the music.
Sure there are -like everywhere- a couple of snobs who profess to dance " the real salsa" as they call it, but they are universally ignored.
 
Dancing is conversation between you and your partner so it is natural to prefer dancing with someone in your own style. Just like you prefer to have a verbal conversation with someone that speaks your native language.

If I end up dancing with someone that has a different style then I just keep my turn patterns simpler. If we are not connecting well then that dance will have plenty of break aways for shines.
 
Brownskin818 said:
Do you only ask people to dance who you see dancing "your" particular style (if you have one)? I've had it happen to me twice where I've asked a guy to dance and have been initially turned down with that excuse. Neither guy meant it in a rude way... both were rather meek and seemed sincerely apologetic about it (...and were also good dancers to boot). But they just assumed that based on how they saw me dancing with some _____ style leader, that that's definitively how I danced. I ended up dancing with the guys on both occasions, and simply adjusted my style to match theirs. But it just irritated me to no end that I'd been pigeonholed into "oh, she must (exclusively :roll:) dance _____" and then turned down because of it! Is it that hard to fathom that I could enjoy other styles as well?? :? Bah hum bug.

Anywho, actual thread topic :P: How flexible are you with your style? If you're in a CBL dominated scene for example, do you enjoy or run from the chance to dance cuban? If you're a usual NYC type mambo'er, would a hard and fast LA salsero scare you or intrigue you?

If you only have one style and you unknowingly end up in a dance with someone who can't adjust to your style, what do you do? How big of a style stickler are you?
Click to expand...

I like dancing any style although I know Cuban style best and lead in Cuban style.

When I dance with a man who dances LA style I always have to conciously switch back to thinking linearly.

I visited NYC recently and someone asked me whether I danced on 1 or on 2. My answer : which ever one you dance!

Love em all!

For a woman it is more important to relax and follow rather than stick to a style.
But Cuban style is more a social dance for lead and follow while I've seen moves taught in other styles that include lots of choreographed elements.

I prefer dancing unchoreographed and free.
 
I learned dancing in a predominantly Cross-Body style on1 scene and until today this is the style I'm most comfortable with.
However, I moved to a predominantly cuban scene (I'd say 85-90% cuban dancers), so if I want many dances I'll have to dance cuban because usually there are only 3-4 cross-body leaders there to dance with in a given night. At the beginning I felt awkward because it was so different and I didn't know where I was going or what the leader expected me to do and I felt like a complete beginner. But now I really enjoy the cuban dances as well. I got used to the style and recognize some patterns (I never took any cuban classes though), and now I have a few cuban favourites I seek out as well.
Parallel I'm trying to learn ET2 because I really enjoyed dancing it at the last congress. But I guess my on2 dancing will be limited to practicing by myself and dancing at congresses because nobody else dances it in my scene.
Funny, I'm in no way any good at on2 but during my first on2 dance I didn't feel nearly as lost as during my first few cuban dances.

So, right now for me it's all about variation :D
 
If " asking " is the Q-- then i believe guys can have different motives ( probably ladies as well, )

It really has to be broken down into its parts

a-- beginners--b-- intermed. c--- adv. and pro,s . The choices one makes , are predicated on several factors, most of which we already know .

I dont believe one can give a definitive answer-- it all depends on the moment and the circumstance .
 
rjoe92057 said:
Dancing is conversation between you and your partner so it is natural to prefer dancing with someone in your own style. Just like you prefer to have a verbal conversation with someone that speaks your native language.
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Well, I'm bilingual and have no preference over which of the two languages to use - I always prefer having a conversation with someone who's got a nice personality and have interesting things to say, whatever the language. Just like dancing ;)
 
Jones said:
Fortunately, here in Montreal everybody dances a bit of everything, so style is never an issue when I get asked to dance. In fact, the really good dancers here will blend all the styles as nesessary to navigate the dancefloor and to fit the music.
Sure there are -like everywhere- a couple of snobs who profess to dance " the real salsa" as they call it, but they are universally ignored.
Click to expand...

Nikka,

I love that approach. Those are the dances that I end up enjoying the most, regardless of style.
 
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