If your rejection rate is low but not zero, is there really anything to worry about?

[n00bdancer]

Over time, I feel like I’ve developed a solid set of guidelines for being a safe and considerate lead. I’ve also become more aware of whom to ask and when to ask at socials.

Still, very occasionally, perhaps once every 50–60 dances, a follower will reject me or end a dance halfway through. When I was newer, I could often understand why. I may have been less technically consistent or less aware of something I was doing. Now, though, there are rare situations where I genuinely do not understand the reason.

I generally do not take rejection personally. Plenty of followers seem happy to dance with me, and I would not even want to dance with someone who doesn't want to dance with me. I am mainly wondering whether rare, unexplained rejections are something worth reflecting on or whether they are simply a normal part of social dancing.

Hygiene could be a possible explanation, but I do not think that is the issue. I shower before socials, wear clean clothes, brush my teeth, and dress pretty modestly.

My general approach is:

1. Avoid unsafe or overly ambitious moves.
   I mostly use familiar, conventional patterns that I can lead reliably. If a follower does not understand a move, I do not force it or repeatedly attempt it. I simply exit safely and move on.

I also choose moves based on the follower’s comfort, experience, and the connection between us. For example, I rarely use hip leads because they involve a more sensitive area, even though they are legitimate moves I have learned in class.

I am also cautious with double spins. I only attempt them when the follower appears comfortable spinning and the connection feels light and responsive. Even then, I do not use them very often socially.

1. Adapt to the follower.
   I dance with followers of all levels, including newer followers, and I try to adjust not only to the follower’s technical ability but also to their apparent comfort. If someone seems uncomfortable with a particular movement, I stop using it. When I dance with someone again, I also remember what felt comfortable or uncomfortable during our previous dance.
2. Stay aware of the surroundings.
   I scan the floor, manage spacing, and try to protect the follower from collisions, especially when the floor is crowded.

My current view is that if I follow these principles and a follower still does not enjoy the dance, I should not dwell on it.

Is that a fair way to think about rare rejections, or is there something else I should be considering?

 

[Chris_Yannick]

perhaps once every 50–60 dances, a follower will reject me or end a dance halfway through.

Low key flex. This is celebrity level rejection rate.

 

[Offbeat]

Low key flex. This is celebrity level rejection rate.

Ohh come on, an average dancer in NYC should face rejection only once every 700 or 800 dances, that is about once every three months and leaving mid dance should never happen!! OP needs a lot of improvement in his strike rate.

 

[1derpalm]

I was at Nathan Phillip square a couple weeks ago and I politely asked a woman (dj-boother) that I had never seen before to dance. She looked me up and down scrunched her face and wrinkled her nose and shook her head with squinted eyes, all while tapping her foot to the beat and looking over mr. So I'd id the mature thing and looked her up and down, glancing noticeably at her wrinkles and dead fraying hair, and chortle, as if to say "in 6 months no man is going to look in your direction, then you'll he all alone, blaming wveryone else". And I moved on.