I know this is not exactly a salsa question but.. how to be liked by people beside the dance itself? (The Dance Zone)

[Chris_Yannick]

he OP himself said it was a “depressing post”

This is what made me comment in the first place. I understood the tone and tried to dig deep into my brain to find something that could be relatable and helpful.

I think diagnosing is very different. I’m not a therapist, but social dance psychology is something we all go through. Some have it worse than others. If I can share my experience openly, I will.

And you all know I HATE being diagnosed, especially when not solicited so I am careful not to do the same. Only to give my experience.

 

[Chris_Yannick]

Heck I do it all the time, when I'm posting something online "authoritatively", and then wonder if I over did it.

It’s too bad they don’t give out degrees in “Salsa psychology that address imposter syndrome, or otherwise feeling not good enough to be dancing so close to strangers and have a problem connecting emotionally/physically with other dance addicts”

I already have these discussions with friends because it’s so relatable a topic. And it’s nice to be able to speak to others who feel the same way.

I could also write a lot about this topic if given the platform to do so.

But oh wait, that’s right… we have Salsa forums!

 

[Offbeat]

Personally I like the phrase imposter syndrome. In everyday speech, "fake it until you make it".

I was thinking of what would be another way to describe the imposter syndrome. While “fake it till you make it” can apply in some situation, it doesn’t in all. An example I have in mind is rather the opposite - someone has put in hard work and is qualified, yet they are second guessing themselves, which to them gives a feeling of imposter syndrome or “I am not good enough” or “I don’t deserve (recognition, award, etc)”.

When I have heard it used, more often it has been in admitting to it rather than alleging it on someone else. Which brings interesting a question. Which behaviors do people self-admit to more and which ones they allege others of more. For example people are less likely to admit to having an inferiority complex but more prone to describing a third person having one.

 

[Offbeat]

I already have these discussions with friends because it’s so relatable a topic. And it’s nice to be able to speak to others who feel the same way.

Indeed it useful to be able to both discuss one’s own or weigh into someone else’s experiences in a non-judgemental way. I believe the word nowadays is “safe place” or “safe space”.

In that respect I agree with you. SF is a good welcoming platform, mostly devoid of toxicity often seen in other platforms. Especially social media platforms where people tend to rush to judge and discussions can get toxic very fast. Most of us are very opinionated but we usually don’t make it personal or toxic.

 

[Chris_Yannick]

Indeed it useful to be able to both discuss one’s own or weigh into someone else’s experiences in a non-judgemental way. I believe the word nowadays is “safe place” or “safe space”.

In that respect I agree with you. SF is a good welcoming platform, mostly devoid of toxicity often seen in other platforms. Especially social media platforms where people tend to rush to judge and discussions can get toxic very fast. Most of us are very opinionated but we usually don’t make it personal or toxic.

It’s pretty tame here compared to all forms of social media (FB, IG, Youtube…)..

Then you have the offline discussions, which is like a form of entertainment in itself.

It is so easy to get dragged into a discussion that you never expect to get into.

I respect those who rarely talk behind others’ backs, but it’s extremely rare to find such people (or you just never talk to anyone in the scene). All it takes is a small innocuous comment to stoke the fire.

But you really can’t have a discussion about Salsa without smack talking someone behind their back.

I used to be so nice too.