He only has eyes for you...?

londongirl

londongirl

Son
All the recent chat on the crushes thread got me thinking:

Now, there are lots of threads about jealousy and other negative aspects in salsa relationships of various kinds like some of these

...but I was wondering about the positive sides :); I hypothesize that if actually you do meet a nice guy through salsa, then you probably have a better idea that he really will be faithful than for a non-salsa dancer, because he has chosen you despite all the women he has danced with and will dance with; it's almost like he is "tempted" everyday (more than the average guy), and meets more hot/beautiful/talented women than the average guy, and still prefers you.

What do you think?

Do you think once a salsa guy settles down he is more 'reliable' than a non-salsa guy (on average)?

(Btw if there is already a thread I missed on this particular aspect of salsa relationships let me know and I will delete this and add to that. Thanks.)
 
Well, I noticed, that after 1.5 years of salsa I become "immune" to beautiful ladies. By "immune" I mean, I'm not likely to have a crush on lady, only because she is beautiful.
 
bigG said:
Well, I noticed, that after 1.5 years of salsa I become "immune" to beautiful ladies. By "immune" I mean, I'm not likely to have a crush on lady, only because she is beautiful.
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It does sort of desensitize you a bit, doesn't it? As a happy by-product, as a result I seem to be much better at meeting beautiful non salsa-dancers now....
 
londongirl said:
he really will be faithful than for a non-salsa dancer, because he has chosen you despite all the women he has danced with and will dance with; it's almost like he is "tempted" everyday (more than the average guy), and meets more hot/beautiful/talented women than the average guy, and still prefers you.
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I've never thought of it like this. You may be right although I don't think I will ever be able to completely turn off my potential threat radar (past experience - once burnt always on the watch out!)

And why is it that there seems to be more hot/beautiful/talented women on the salsa scene than in the general population - or is that just my impression. And further more, why doesn't this also apply to the guys?! ;)
 
salsology said:
And why is it that there seems to be more hot/beautiful/talented women on the salsa scene than in the general population - or is that just my impression.
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My perception is just the opposite - WAY opposite. I found it a little surprising, actually.

salsology said:
And further more, why doesn't this also apply to the guys?! ;)
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For the above reason? I once overheard a lady working at a local club talking about some guys lurking outside. She said they were waiting to see if there were enough single women to dance with before they paid the cover charge, suggesting that it's a common practice. To be perfectly honest, I began doing the same thing - going to clubs but not paying the cover unless it looked like there might actually be someone to dance with.
 
bigG said:
Well, I noticed, that after 1.5 years of salsa I become "immune" to beautiful ladies. By "immune" I mean, I'm not likely to have a crush on lady, only because she is beautiful.
Click to expand...

Interesting enough, there are pros and cons, I am immune to the way someone looks, but actually find myself more attracted to someone based on how they dance...

As obsessed dancer, it is just so hard dating someone outside of Salsa, as there is so much they just don't understand...
 
londongirl said:
Do you think once a salsa guy settles down he is more 'reliable' than a non-salsa guy (on average)?
Click to expand...

Have you ever been to a congress? :eek:
VERY VERY few relationships in the salsa community go somewhere...Many of them just crash, because there is no such a thing as being immune and he chose you over everyone else.
Like a photographer, or a makeup artist...They work with beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy models all the time, does that make them more likely to be faithful? Absolutely not.
 
lolita said:
Have you ever been to a congress? :eek:
VERY VERY few relationships in the salsa community go somewhere...Many of them just crash, because there is no such a thing as being immune and he chose you over everyone else.
Like a photographer, or a makeup artist...They work with beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy models all the time, does that make them more likely to be faithful? Absolutely not.
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That's quite true actually, at least for most of us.
 
olamalam said:
That's quite true actually, at least for most of us.
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toan-hoang said:
As obsessed dancer, it is just so hard dating someone outside of Salsa, as there is so much they just don't understand...
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So if dancer/non-dancer relationships don't work because they don't understand the dancer's love of dancing and/or get jealous, and dancer/dancer relationships don't work either (according to some comments on this thread), then what does work?

Disclaimer: I recently ended a long-term relationship with a non-dancer and started dating a dancer.
 
londongirl said:
...but I was wondering about the positive sides :); I hypothesize that if actually you do meet a nice guy through salsa, then you probably have a better idea that he really will be faithful than for a non-salsa dancer, because he has chosen you despite all the women he has danced with and will dance with; it's almost like he is "tempted" everyday (more than the average guy), and meets more hot/beautiful/talented women than the average guy, and still prefers you.
Click to expand...

I don't think that the fact that he chose you despite the others can be taken as a sign of being more faithful or not. In my opinion it rather means that while others might be hot, beautiful, etc., they don't have your personality and aren't as interesting to him as you. But where's he more faithful or not will only reveal itself after some time as can still be as non-reliable as everybody else.

lolita said:
Have you ever been to a congress? :eek:
VERY VERY few relationships in the salsa community go somewhere...Many of them just crash, because there is no such a thing as being immune and he chose you over everyone else.
Like a photographer, or a makeup artist...They work with beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy models all the time, does that make them more likely to be faithful? Absolutely not.
Click to expand...

Of course, I can only speak for myself, but while I notice the appearance of a lady first, I fall in love with her because of her personality and not just her look. So while there may be a lot of beautiful, hot, sexy, etc. ladies around to dance with, that doesn't tempt me as they aren't going to have the same personality as the person that I'm in love with. Looks are one thing, but in my opinion not the factor that makes us really fall in love with each other and want to spend all time together. And as for looks, I think this quote here is quite fitting:

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. -- Anonymous

And now you can call me a hopeless romantic idiot. ;)
 
chrisk said:
I don't think that the fact that he chose you despite the others can be taken as a sign of being more faithful or not. In my opinion it rather means that while others might be hot, beautiful, etc., they don't have your personality and aren't as interesting to him as you. But where's he more faithful or not will only reveal itself after some time as can still be as non-reliable as everybody else.



Of course, I can only speak for myself, but while I notice the appearance of a lady first, I fall in love with her because of her personality and not just her look. So while there may be a lot of beautiful, hot, sexy, etc. ladies around to dance with, that doesn't tempt me as they aren't going to have the same personality as the person that I'm in love with. Looks are one thing, but in my opinion not the factor that makes us really fall in love with each other and want to spend all time together. And as for looks, I think this quote here is quite fitting:

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. -- Anonymous

And now you can call me a hopeless romantic idiot. ;)
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Win.

I don't think you can read too much into it either way just because the guy is a dancer. If he's the type to be unfaithful then he won't be any less that just because he dances and he chose you. By the same token, if he's the type to be faithful then he won't be any less that just because he dances and he's around beautiful women all the time. As difficult as it may be, I think these things have to be evaluated case by case just as they have to be when you meet a guy anywhere else.
 
Meeting someone through salsa would probably make the relationship last longer assuming both people are involved with the community. If I am going risk burning serious social capital and potentially suffer the fallout after a breakup, she better be worth it. The bar is way higher for dating in the scene. Some chick from online dating or from a bar is on thinner ice.
 
lolita said:
Have you ever been to a congress? :eek:
VERY VERY few relationships in the salsa community go somewhere...
Click to expand...

I was gonna say just take a look at the relationships in the "scene," but Lolita said it better. For crying out loud, instructors trade partners like baseball cards. I've seen stuff online that blows my mind.

Doesn't mean a fantasy relationship is impossible, but it always pays to keep one's eyes open.
 
londongirl said:
Do you think once a salsa guy settles down he is more 'reliable' than a non-salsa guy (on average)?
Click to expand...

But...

there is no generic salsa guy and there is no generic non-salsa guy.

A salsa guy and a non-salsa guy, will both represent same broad spectrum.

In short, ask a wrong question and only thing you will get is a wrong answer :)
 
Sabrosura said:
So if dancer/non-dancer relationships don't work because they don't understand the dancer's love of dancing and/or get jealous, and dancer/dancer relationships don't work either (according to some comments on this thread), then what does work?

Disclaimer: I recently ended a long-term relationship with a non-dancer and started dating a dancer.
Click to expand...

non-dancer/non-dancer worked best for me. I had my longest relationship with her (8 years) and now going back to turkey with some hope to win her back. then I hope again, she'll start salsa :)
 
bigG said:
Well, I noticed, that after 1.5 years of salsa I become "immune" to beautiful ladies. By "immune" I mean, I'm not likely to have a crush on lady, only because she is beautiful.
Click to expand...

You use to have a crush on lady because she was beautiful before you started dancing salsa? If yes, are you saying if you see a beautiful woman at a non-salsa event, you won't develop a crush on her?
 
Flying Donkey said:
It does sort of desensitize you a bit, doesn't it? As a happy by-product, as a result I seem to be much better at meeting beautiful non salsa-dancers now....
Click to expand...

I not sure why it should desensitize. Women in salsa are no more or less beautiful than outside salsa. Only difference is you get to hold them for 5 minutes every week :D

salsology said:
I've never thought of it like this. You may be right although I don't think I will ever be able to completely turn off my potential threat radar (past experience - once burnt always on the watch out!)

And why is it that there seems to be more hot/beautiful/talented women on the salsa scene than in the general population - or is that just my impression. And further more, why doesn't this also apply to the guys?! ;)
Click to expand...

IMHO, I don't see more of them in salsa than elsewhere. Talent, hot and beautiful are two different things. Talented I might agree with, but I believe there are less hot/beautiful women in salsa scene :P
 
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