I simply think this depends on your venue's atmosphere or your scene's vibe.
For example, my fav venue is in between two actual "nightclubs". It can be eclectic with the variations of people you'd encounter and it's known for its super sensual bachata, and while I'm not sure if the instructors encourage such, I've observed it and been told by female friends that guys have recently started performing these small "aesthetic" gestures, such as tracing their fingers along the neck or above between the female follows' chests during a dip or touching and caressing their faces while performing a bachata basic. Although I have never attempted these, I can understand their appeal. There's also the cheek-to-cheek, I never really do these, but it actually also sort of helped with some connections so now I didn't mind it. And yes, it's now also happening in my salsa scenes. Is this just dance evolution?
I ask because I make female friends who are new in the scene or I bring them in the scene. Some of them didn't even know that the guy shouldn't have their lead thigh actually in full contact in between them or that they didn't know that you're not supposed to also be quite that "close", but who am I to say if they're also enjoying it too? I know for some guys and also women, they do know what they're doing. I guess I just don't know how to process these yet. A good example I can give is that I brought a now ex into the scene, although she's an ex, I can't help to think to say that the guy was dipping her too much and was actually smelling & even lightly kissing her neck during a dip, she just didn't know and I guess it was my fault for watching or possibly having some ounce of care simply because I've come from a diff dance background where my instructors would always hark on us about dance etiquettes. But this care seems to be coming more from a dance ambassador type of perspective. I can't help to feel maybe even sorry for the beginners? Like I can tell someone is new when she's always getting dipped by the dipping guys in my local scene. And it just sucks that I've known some who completely backed away from the whole world of dance.
I had a female friend who completely blacklisted a venue because the guys there couldn't stop dipping her. Some do "know" that when they bring them up from the dip, they'd be super close as to have them feel their "area". My other female friends were not aware of this and it was a like a lightbulb turning on when I told them about it, some actually knew and do say that they don't mind or actually find it appealing or envigorating because at least someone finds them super attractive. To each of their own I guess? I think skill level can dictate each follower and lead's control over their intimate moves. Like how my other friend thought it was a norm to dance super close in bachata and she'd tell me she couldn't control or defend well when she's pulled in closer, she's better now at least, and knows when to use her arm to stop a close embrace or stick a back leg down to stop a dip. And I know men and women also have done or can do some very flirty or even borderline sexual moves like we know that we're actually "grinding" on each other. Fun is fun. In the end, it's all just dancing. Though there are crazy things that happen, I still don't know how to process these. Should the more experienced people instill influence? Do we observe or do we try to care?
I don't want to make it seem like I'm gatekeeping or pandering, I think it's up to everyone's journey beginner or not. But I also can't help to think that when I mentioned to my other newbie friend about the "kiss dip", and it happened to her on her second night out, the kiss dip thing was basically something that was happening in my scene where a guy or some guys would dip the woman too low to the ground and when they bring them up closely, they'd "accidentally" kiss their lips. She told me it happened with a guy that seemed like he was not a regular too. So I'm not sure I should be all uptight about it to my friends or even open up back communications with my ex for one, to say that hey those are overtly sexual moves! Am I just wasting my energy feeling like I maybe care for newbie dancers or the like? At least I'm not one who hops on and tries to stick to the newbie follow like I know some vets do in my scene.
And I guess it just depends on each one's journey. What do you guys think? Also, has anything similar happened in your scene, were there some moves such as the kiss dip that I mentioned? Is it a bad idea to share one's opinions or thoughts with those who you cared about or are close friends with?
For example, my fav venue is in between two actual "nightclubs". It can be eclectic with the variations of people you'd encounter and it's known for its super sensual bachata, and while I'm not sure if the instructors encourage such, I've observed it and been told by female friends that guys have recently started performing these small "aesthetic" gestures, such as tracing their fingers along the neck or above between the female follows' chests during a dip or touching and caressing their faces while performing a bachata basic. Although I have never attempted these, I can understand their appeal. There's also the cheek-to-cheek, I never really do these, but it actually also sort of helped with some connections so now I didn't mind it. And yes, it's now also happening in my salsa scenes. Is this just dance evolution?
I ask because I make female friends who are new in the scene or I bring them in the scene. Some of them didn't even know that the guy shouldn't have their lead thigh actually in full contact in between them or that they didn't know that you're not supposed to also be quite that "close", but who am I to say if they're also enjoying it too? I know for some guys and also women, they do know what they're doing. I guess I just don't know how to process these yet. A good example I can give is that I brought a now ex into the scene, although she's an ex, I can't help to think to say that the guy was dipping her too much and was actually smelling & even lightly kissing her neck during a dip, she just didn't know and I guess it was my fault for watching or possibly having some ounce of care simply because I've come from a diff dance background where my instructors would always hark on us about dance etiquettes. But this care seems to be coming more from a dance ambassador type of perspective. I can't help to feel maybe even sorry for the beginners? Like I can tell someone is new when she's always getting dipped by the dipping guys in my local scene. And it just sucks that I've known some who completely backed away from the whole world of dance.
I had a female friend who completely blacklisted a venue because the guys there couldn't stop dipping her. Some do "know" that when they bring them up from the dip, they'd be super close as to have them feel their "area". My other female friends were not aware of this and it was a like a lightbulb turning on when I told them about it, some actually knew and do say that they don't mind or actually find it appealing or envigorating because at least someone finds them super attractive. To each of their own I guess? I think skill level can dictate each follower and lead's control over their intimate moves. Like how my other friend thought it was a norm to dance super close in bachata and she'd tell me she couldn't control or defend well when she's pulled in closer, she's better now at least, and knows when to use her arm to stop a close embrace or stick a back leg down to stop a dip. And I know men and women also have done or can do some very flirty or even borderline sexual moves like we know that we're actually "grinding" on each other. Fun is fun. In the end, it's all just dancing. Though there are crazy things that happen, I still don't know how to process these. Should the more experienced people instill influence? Do we observe or do we try to care?
I don't want to make it seem like I'm gatekeeping or pandering, I think it's up to everyone's journey beginner or not. But I also can't help to think that when I mentioned to my other newbie friend about the "kiss dip", and it happened to her on her second night out, the kiss dip thing was basically something that was happening in my scene where a guy or some guys would dip the woman too low to the ground and when they bring them up closely, they'd "accidentally" kiss their lips. She told me it happened with a guy that seemed like he was not a regular too. So I'm not sure I should be all uptight about it to my friends or even open up back communications with my ex for one, to say that hey those are overtly sexual moves! Am I just wasting my energy feeling like I maybe care for newbie dancers or the like? At least I'm not one who hops on and tries to stick to the newbie follow like I know some vets do in my scene.
And I guess it just depends on each one's journey. What do you guys think? Also, has anything similar happened in your scene, were there some moves such as the kiss dip that I mentioned? Is it a bad idea to share one's opinions or thoughts with those who you cared about or are close friends with?
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