Constructive criticism to an event coordinator

[Terremoto]

I just had an interesting experience. I went to a special salsa event put on by a local salsa coordinator. It went well, however, I felt the guest speaker talked way too much. The event coordinator must have some personal connection with this guest speaker because every time he puts on an event he invites this guest speaker. So anyways, I finally decided to send the event coordinator an email and tell him what I though of this guest speaker - essentially I told him that this guy simply likes to hear himself talk.

His response to me was essentially "go F*ck yourself" :shock: seriously, I was shocked. I am actually friends with the coordinator so I was even more taken back by his response - definately not what I expected. My scene isn't all that big so making enemies really isn't all that good of an idea.

I generally do give feed back to the salsa coordinators here in town - partly because I know most of them on a personal level - and every time they have been pretty receptive to my feedback.

And I'm not the only one who feels this way about this guest speaker - there are a lot of other salser@s in my community that feel this way about him.

So anyways, I just had to share with someone - if for no other reasons to put my feelings of shock on paper (or electronic paper I mean).

 

[GayleR]

I can relate. Last October I went to the Toronto Salsa Congress and had a fantastic, life-altering experience. I was so jazzed that a few weeks later I sent the organizer, who does an amazing job, an email congratulating her and I enclosed a list of constructive suggestions.

Things like how about adding a 1/2 hour stretch class at the end of the workshop days and even suggesting an instructor who offered to do it for free, having a hour lunch break in between the day of workshops to give people a rest, checking the food court opening schedule so it's open during the event, stuff like that and all delivered with what I thought was no 'tude. I never got a reply and many months later when I started taking classes from her it felt like I was getting the cold shoulder, which has since changed, thankfully because she's amazing. But I have the feeling she was initially very offended by my email.

Constructive criticism is good but not everyone wants it. Oh well. If you meant well, then don't worry about it, maybe he'll think about your comments.

 

[dosvueltas]

Constructive criticism is good but not everyone wants it.

That's one thing I've learnt the hard way. There are many who claim they 'welcome constructive criticism', but few who actually have strong enough self esteem to take it. Let alone those to whom it is given unsolicited.

One thing I've come to realise is that not everyone thinks the same way. Case in point: when I was new to salsa and struggling, I would've so loved for the advanced dancers all around me to give me just one or two pointers I knew they could, which would immediately have helped me unlock the key to ten different things. No one did. I swore if I ever got good that I wouldn't be the same, that I'd willingly give of my experience to anyone I saw struggling.

Fast forward three years and I now realise why no one did. It's just not appreciated and people actually take offence! Just like Terremoto, my scene is pretty small so no one wants to make enemies. But since I can't in good conscience keep my mouth shut when I see someone doing something really dangerous to the lady (especially people who execute some of the harder Rueda moves badly... watching their elbow enganchos are frightening!), my stance is to offer someone advice ONCE. If it's taken well good. If not, then let 'em rot

 

[TheBear_CanDanceToo]

A few of months ago I was at an event in the Midlands. I know the promoter quite well and get on with him pretty well, too (I've actually taught for him acouple of times). Whilst chatting to him about his teachers that night, after complimenting one of the couples he'd hired, I made some less then complimentary remarks about the other and his face dropped. I realised then that I was out of order so emailed him to apologise a couple of days later. He sent an email back saying not to worry but he's not mentioned booking me again since then...
I think feedback is a good thing when constructive but the way I gave it wasn't constructive. I've learnt from this and will tread far more carefully in the future.

 

[tj]

Ugh, that's awful that the promoters are behaving this way.

On a nicer note, the woman who runs a bimonthly social has taken feedback to heart. A couple of weeks ago, the music wasn't so good, and the sound system made it sound even worse. I didn't particularly like it that night, and I had friends complain as well. Turns out that she (the promoter) took it upon herself to let the owners of the studio know about the problem with the sound system, and she said that she'd work on getting better music.

I was pleasantly surprised!

 

[Terremoto]

When I sent the e-mail I was definately frustruated and I'm sure I conveyed my feelings through the e-mail. The fact of the matter is that this guy will rant on for literally 10 or 12 minutes - many times talking about himself - repeating himself from the previous rant. He came to portland in January and really pissed me off over how much he talked and then this time he did the same thing. So yes, I was very frustrated and so I let the promoter know about my frustration. OH well - it is what it is.

By the way - totally off topic - I now know that when someone from the UK says that they "get on" with someone it means that they are friendly - however, in the US it would mean that you were sexually intimate with the person. So FBCDT - when you said you get on with the promoter I had to laugh - even though I know what you meant it still put a funny image in my head

 

[KP-salsa]

When I sent the e-mail I was definately frustruated and I'm sure I conveyed my feelings through the e-mail. The fact of the matter is that this guy will rant on for literally 10 or 12 minutes - many times talking about himself - repeating himself from the previous rant. He came to portland in January and really pissed me off over how much he talked and then this time he did the same thing. So yes, I was very frustrated and so I let the promoter know about my frustration. OH well - it is what it is.

By the way - totally off topic - I now know that when someone from the UK says that they "get on" with someone it means that they are friendly - however, in the US it would mean that you were sexually intimate with the person. So FBCDT - when you said you get on with the promoter I had to laugh - even though I know what you meant it still put a funny image in my head

Ahhh - well we mean that when we say "got off" or "get off" with someone. Here when you're pissed it means your drunk - in the USA when you say you're pissed we'd call you pissed off. As dear old Oscar Wilde said "two nations divided by a common language".

 

[AndrewS]

By the way - totally off topic - I now know that when someone from the UK says that they "get on" with someone it means that they are friendly - however, in the US it would mean that you were sexually intimate with the person.

What about when boxers say they are going to "get it on" with each other? It looks like they're trying to knock seven bells out of one another not have a bit of hanky panky

 

[Terremoto]

By the way - totally off topic - I now know that when someone from the UK says that they "get on" with someone it means that they are friendly - however, in the US it would mean that you were sexually intimate with the person.

What about when boxers say they are going to "get it on" with each other? It looks like they're trying to knock seven bells out of one another not have a bit of hanky panky

Yes you are right - boxers do say that in the US. I highly doubt they are saying they want to have sex with their opponant I guess its really a contextual thing - what does "it" refer to in "get it on"? "it" in the boxing sense would mean the fight (boxing match).