Compliment or not?

A

AndrewD

Changui
I’ve been dancing for about three months now and had an interesting experience on Thursday. The lady I danced with was smiling throughout and towards the end was even laughing! Afterwards she said she enjoyed the dance and wasn't laughing at me, she said my lead was so gentle that it was a genuine surprise every time I span her; it was this surprise that was making her giggle.
As my dances usually engender fear, panic or disgust (an exaggeration, but I’m sure you’ll forgive a newbie some salsa angst) I was wondering whether I was being patronised (nicely) or whether I should take it as a compliment?
 
Compliment all the way AndrewD!

Back when I was a newbie one of my salsa mentors told me that he considered any dance where he didn't get a laugh out of his partner, or at least a smile, to be a personal failure on his part. While I'm not as much of a "clown" as he is, I still think his point is well made--if you, as a leader, haven't made the dance enjoyable for your partner (to the best of your ability), then there is a failure to have done your part in making that dance all that it could have been.

If the lady in question was enjoying herself to the extent it sounds like she did, and which her own words confirm as well, then you did your "job" and then some!

:cheers:
 
I agree with with SD said. I also would like to add that maybe this lady was used to very rough beginners. What I mean by this is, when beginners start they don't know how to lead a pattern - so they try and force it through and are very strong with their partners. So maybe she was shocked to find a beginner who didn't try and muscle her through certain patterns.
 
Thanks for the feedback - very reassuring!

The advice is invaluable as well - I'ved worked hard to make my leading comfortable for my partner, but I haven't worked at all on making it fun...

This may be difficult as naturally I'm quite a serious guy, smiling is an obvious place to start, eye contact next - do you have any other tips?
 
Hhhmmm, what else can you do to make the dance more enjoyable for your partner. As you get more advanced you will dance with follows that are not as advanced as you are - when that happens don't lead patterns that are beyond the level of the follow. There are too many leads that want to show off and will lead all kinds of advanced moves and the follow has no idea of what is going on.
 
Salsa's murphy's law:
A girl smiling AND talking to you is pleased; a girl only smiling to you is being polite and thinking "god, when will it end".

Seriously, that girl is probably used to super-dancers making her spin all around only because they saw she was able to do it, and was pleased to dance with someone who wasn't about making her feel like some final competitor at the mayan :p
 
Arc said:
Salsa's murphy's law:
A girl smiling AND talking to you is pleased; a girl only smiling to you is being polite and thinking "god, when will it end".
Click to expand...
Well I'm more inclined to talk when I'm not enjoying the dance... If the dance is good, there's no need for words ;) (but I may still sing along the song :roll: :lol: )
 
AndrewD said:
This may be difficult as naturally I'm quite a serious guy, smiling is an obvious place to start, eye contact next - do you have any other tips?
Click to expand...

Do you know how to play games? Once you feel that you lead your basic patterns really well and the follower is getting used to them.. play around a little every once in a while - mix them up, fake a move and do something else or just goof around. Remember though there's a fine line between playing ;) and being :twisted:
 
Thanks for the advice - I'll give it a go :)

My last lesson may help as the instructor taught us how to 'tease' a CBL - my mother used to say that teasing is wrong, but if will help my dancing I'm willing to go against her words of wisdom :)

P.S. I've actually been dancing for almost four months now...tempus fugit and all that!
 
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