A beginner's learning journal - Trying to overcome the Beginner's Hell

A

Alxion

Changui
Hi all, I’ve recently started going out for social dancing, and right now I am experimenting the famous and dreaded Beginner’s Hell.

I know I have to overcome this painful phase of the dancing if I want to be a good social dancer in the future, and I thought that making a little journal of my progress could help me because of the following reasons (with no relevant order):

  • it would help me tracking my progress in the future (i.e: I can re-read the firsts posts in two months and check if I am in the same situation or I have improved)
  • writing the experiences forces me to analyze what I’ve done wrong and what could have been improved.
  • I think that sharing my worries and experiences with people that have passed for this same stage before, could have a positive impact and act as a sort of therapy against the “down moments” of the Beginner’s Hell.
Where I am right now:
I am doing a weekly beginner cuban salsa class (1 hour each Friday), and I think that is going reasonably well. I am enjoying the process of learning, and I usually find myself being confident, relaxed and catching the steps with relative ease.

However, in a social dancing environment, it feels totally different. Although I have managed to have a few joyful dances in the past, the predominant dances are the ones in which I am self-conscious, nervous, stiffed, inhibited and thinking that I am boring my partner. Sometimes with the more advanced followers, my mind goes into a kind of “blank state” where I forget that I know other things besides basic step in closed stance and dile que no.

Where I would like to be:
My goal would be to be able to regularly enjoy and make enjoy a full song with any (or most) followers.

For that purpose, when social dancing, I would like to be able to have the same mindset that I have when going to class (basically have fun, the other things pretty much come alone when having fun).

Also, I would like to refine my leading skills to be able to lead clearly and in a gentle way the moves that I am being taught in class.

Next Objectives:
  • Going social dancing at least once a week
  • Being less stiff and inhibited when dancing. Smile during the process.
  • Remember to practice the moves that I am lacking in the leading department (particularly some enchufla variations) and switching from close stance to open break each now and then
If anyone wants a little bit of extra information about me, you can check my first steps and symptoms of the beginner hell in the following thread: salsaforums.com/showthread.php?t=18685
 
Yesterday night was the first time that I went out for social dancing without any class partners (just my brother and I). We decided to try a different club that is pretty near to our home.

As soon as we entered there, we felt pretty much intimidated, as everyone there seemed so good (if there was something like a beginner’s corner, we didn’t manage to find it).

After half an hour or so observing the people dancing (specially the taxi boys from the club dancing with various follows), I asked a lady who just entered the club for a dance, and boom, all the Beginner’s Hell symptoms were there.

Anyway, although stiff and with plenty of basic mambo steps in the middle, I remembered to switch to open break two or three times, tried to transition two times from dile que no and follower basic right turn to a guapea/pepe (with no success, she clearly was expecting something else), and although it was not very smooth, completed a few enchuflas dobles/ochos.

Looking back, it could have been an “ok” dance if it wasn’t because I couldn’t manage to grab her eye contact (she was looking elsewhere most of the time, which bothered me a bit because it makes me think that she is not having a good time).

After a short break in which a rueda was formed (I was sitting as I didn’t know even half the moves used), I asked another lady for a song. I was even more inhibited/nervous than before, and it traduced in me doing almost nothing more than basic step in closed stance and diles que no, with a few follower’s basic right turn in the middle.

Precisely, when the song ended the lady said me that I needed to be more relaxed in my hand grip when making her turn, so I asked her if she mind another song (the first one was very short although it seemed an eternity :oops:) to try the grip.

That next song turned to be “Cancioncita de amor” by Juan Luis Guerra, which in turn is one of the songs I use to practice at home (that helped me for being less stiffed in my actions during the song). I make sure to throw 5 or 6 turns for the lady at the beginning of the song to practice the suggested hand grip, and in general, try to incorporate the few movements I know at some point of the song. Guapea was sort of Ok, but I miserably failed with enchuflas (everytime I tried an enchufla or variation our steps were de-coordinated).

After thanking that girl when the song ended, my brother and I decided to leave, because we were “mentally” worn out by the nerves/pressure.

Overall, although we didn’t get many dances, we think it was a good experience in terms of stepping out of the comfort zone, and we both think that this club is a great place to return when we have made some improvements (it’s clearly not as beginner friendly as our “regular” club).

Precisely, this night we’ll go social dancing at our “regular” club for an hour or so. My main goals will be to try to get more dances, be less stiffed and try to refine the enchufla lead, which was pretty poor yesterday.
 
Alxion said:
Anyway, although stiff and with plenty of basic mambo steps in the middle, I remembered to switch to open break two or three times, tried to transition two times from dile que no and follower basic right turn to a guapea/pepe (with no success, she clearly was expecting something else), and although it was not very smooth, completed a few enchuflas dobles/ochos.
Click to expand...

That's a lot of moves, Alxion! This is about all I do in cuban salsa. Also random wandering around dancefloor (what's the Cuban name for it?) and making lady to walk around me.

If lady does not respond to 'guapea', she might be a slot dancer.

Alxion said:
That next song turned to be “Cancioncita de amor” by Juan Luis Guerra, which in turn is one of the songs I use to practice at home (that helped me for being less stiffed in my actions during the song).
Click to expand...

You could find out names of songs you like that local DJs play. Most DJs play the same songs over and over again. Then you can listen to them at home. Later on the dancefloor you'll be one of the most musical dancers, since 95% of dancers don't care about this. Ladies will notice. This is what got more advanced follows to ask me when I was a total noob. It was interesting to dance with me.
 
Alxion said:
Hi all, I’ve recently started going out for social dancing, and right now I am experimenting the famous and dreaded Beginner’s Hell.
Click to expand...

While I don't think that your idea will work for everbody, I like your idea of a virtual beginners hell diary. If you like to read up about the experience of others during beginner hell, then feel free to take a look at the following threads:

How long were you stuck in the 'beginners hell'
Polakito's Salsa Journey
Notes from a Beginner

And maybe take a look at this as well?

Advice for a beginner?
 
Warning: the example of that "DancingGuy" dude is extreme !! He is oblivious to progression or evolution or anything.
Alxion continue you will be fine it just takes a bit of time in the beginning.
Cuban style salsa has a faster learning curve than slot salsa so you should have fun within a few weeks. Just don't let go.
 
Thanks for the comments Smejmoon, I definitively want to find out some of the most played songs at the club, so I can listen to them at home and aim to differenciate myself though musicality.

As for tonight, I will write a detailed post on tuesday (I need to go to sleep as it is pretty late here and tomorrow I have to wake up early), but if I had to choose a title it would be "Oh, what a lovely night!"

I still have a lot to improve, but oh man, what a difference with yesterday. I had a lot of fun, and easily had three awesome dances that right now are my most enjoyable memories since I started salsa :-)

I'll edit this message tuesday with the details. Have a good night everyone!
 
tresto said:
Warning: the example of that "DancingGuy" dude is extreme !! He is oblivious to progression or evolution or anything.
Click to expand...

FYI- I still lurk around here. So, I'd appreciate it if you'd quit gossiping about me. Dancing was hard for me. What else can I say? To be honest, it wasn't as hard as I made it out to be. It's just that as I kept progressing, more and more questions kept running through my head and the more I go for lessons, the more they got unanswered. It's very hard to describe. And it only made things worse when some people here decided to publicly trash my schools and my instructors.

But like I said, Salsa raised a lot of questions and I tend to ask them here and due to some misunderstanding, my threads here got a bit messy and it made my beginner's hell look more hellish than it really was. Salsa, overall, was a fun and exciting adventure. I only stopped because I became too busy to commit. But I do hope to dance again soon... very soon!
 
Alxion said:
I still have a lot to improve, but oh man, what a difference with yesterday. I had a lot of fun, and easily had three awesome dances that right now are my most enjoyable memories since I started salsa :-)
Click to expand...
It's really like a roller coaster when you first start out, but that only makes the highs even better!
 
DancingGuy said:
Salsa, overall, was a fun and exciting adventure. I only stopped because I became too busy to commit. But I do hope to dance again soon... very soon!
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I was planning to ask nowadays but I see that you haven't started yet.
At least come to Jimmys social on 1st of Jan, I'll be there.
 
olamalam said:
I was planning to ask nowadays but I see that you haven't started yet.
At least come to Jimmys social on 1st of Jan, I'll be there.
Click to expand...

I took my last exam a couple of weeks ago. My result will come in on Thursday 12/8. If I pass, then dancing, here I come!! If I failed, then I need to crack open the books again and put dancing on hold again for another couple of months.
 
tresto said:
Warning: the example of that "DancingGuy" dude is extreme !!
Click to expand...

That's a matter of perspective. It appears that 90% or more of beginners never make it past Beginners Hell, making DancingGuy one of the few "normal" people on this forum. Now if we could get that missing 90% to start their own forum... ;)
 
Alxion said:
Hi all, I’ve recently started going out for social dancing, and right now I am experimenting the famous and dreaded Beginner’s Hell.

I know I have to overcome this painful phase of the dancing if I want to be a good social dancer in the future, and I thought that making a little journal of my progress could help me
Click to expand...

YEAH! good work putting yourself out there, always rewarding. Reading these forums really helped me overcome any anxiety I had due to being a beginner.

I still forget everything I know when I feel intimidated or self conscious. I sort of see the humor in it though, and I realise that everyone wants you to be a better dancer so its OK. Then my memory comes back and it all works out.

Ive had some shocking dances with randoms that don't go anywhere and it gets me down, then I've had some brilliant dances with some randoms and it all evens out.

I've also had really really bad dances with people I usually dance well with and that's certainly interesting cause it left us both confused.

Enjoy the highs and lows while they last I recon. :D
 
DancingGuy said:
I took my last exam a couple of weeks ago. My result will come in on Thursday 12/8. If I pass, then dancing, here I come!! If I failed, then I need to crack open the books again and put dancing on hold again for another couple of months.
Click to expand...

Hope your hard work's paid off - i'll keep my fingers crossed for you :)
 
Good to hear the second outing was much better - the first night of social dancing is the toughest. It does get better! :D

Alxion said:
Yesterday night was the first time that I went out for social dancing without any class partners (just my brother and I). We decided to try a different club that is pretty near to our home.

As soon as we entered there, we felt pretty much intimidated, as everyone there seemed so good (if there was something like a beginner’s corner, we didn’t manage to find it).

After half an hour or so observing the people dancing (specially the taxi boys from the club dancing with various follows), I asked a lady who just entered the club for a dance, and boom, all the Beginner’s Hell symptoms were there.
Click to expand...
One thing I've learned is *not* to watch good dancers in an intimidating environment. Even after years of dancing, I still feel intimidated when I watch amazing dancers doing their stuff. At events full of good dancers (e.g., congresses), I make a point of just asking a person nearby and diving straight in instead of watching other dancers first.
 
I also think it's a good idea if you can find a way to enjoy even these more stressful days of dancing.

Of course there is going to be some anxiety, and probably quite a few ego knocks coming here and there, BUT, there is also: The awesome music! The friends you are making in class, and will start to make in the wider community! That adrenaline rush of asking someone new to dance (everyone, almost, is new to you just now, try to see it as an adventure.)! The sense of achievement and utter elation when you get something right, or notice your dancing has gone up even by a small notch!

Also just keep in mind that with simply sticking to it, keeping in class, and keeping social dancing, you will notice improvements with some consistancy for the first period of your life in Salsa. Enjoy!
 
Salsa Bear said:
That's a matter of perspective. It appears that 90% or more of beginners never make it past Beginners Hell, making DancingGuy one of the few "normal" people on this forum. Now if we could get that missing 90% to start their own forum... ;)
Click to expand...

Where do you get your statistics? :rolleyes:

Most people I knew dropped out because they found other more interesting things (for them) to do.
 
azzey said:
Where do you get your statistics? :rolleyes:

Most people I knew dropped out because they found other more interesting things (for them) to do.
Click to expand...

There are no official statistics, of course. But a previous thread, combined with my personal observations, suggests that only a tiny percentage of beginning salsa students succeed - certainly less than 10% and probably less than 5%.

You say they found more interesting things to do, while others commonly cite the hard work and discipline required to learn how to dance. I think there are four major factors that influence people to drop out:

1. Some simply decide it isn't their thing.

2. Some are either intimidated by the hard work required to learn how to dance salsa, or they don't have enough free time to devote to it.

3. Some are blown away by the social dynamics, which can be very unpleasant and even downright weird.

4. Many can't afford it. In fact, I've talked to a few locals who told me they couldn't afford classes, and one local blogger claims she can't even afford to go out dancing any more. Combining the actual unemployment rate with the number of people who are working part-time, I'd guesstimate that a quarter of U.S. citizens can't afford salsa - and the number could be much higher than that.

I didn't mind the hard work, but I was blown away by #3 and #4. My scene was simply too weird, and I met far too many unpleasant people. (I thought salsa was supposed to be fun!) I was also just recovering after being laid off and unemployed for a while, and I simply couldn't afford to take endless classes and private lessons. I got tired of spending money on disjointed classes that seemed to lock me into an endless cycle of going nowhere, like a dog chasing its tail.

P.S. No insults intended by my statement that DancingGuy is the only "normal" person on the forum. By "normal," I mean average; I simply suspect he may be closer to the norm than successful salsa dancers, who are few and far between.
 
This was the best night that I’ve had in my short salsa life, so I have the feeling that this will be a very long post. Those who don’t want to go through the entire details can freely skip to the end of the post, where I’ll write a very brief resume of the night.

I also warn the readers that I might occasionally jump to narrate things and thoughts that may be not strictly related to salsa.

Report for Sunday 04/12/2011 (5th Social Dance Event):
A few friends from the beginner’s cuban salsa class and me, usually arrange a meeting on Sundays for going out to dance and practice at our local dance studio/club (Mojito BCN).

This time, though, none of the follows could come, so my brother, two male friends and I meet at Mojito at 21:00 hrs. We entered a bit earlier and the Bachata workshop was ending with a big rueda.

While we were observing the bachata rueda, an old friend of my brother mistook me as him (we are twins so luckily I’m used at this point :P) and we had a little nice chat. It turned that this Sunday was the monthly group class at the club and that he went to the club for the first time, thinking that it was a normal class that casually happens at the club.

As a month before we passed for the exact same experience, we explain him that it is not different that going to the club any Sunday and began explaining him a little about what can he expect based on our experiences and telling him some of our good and bad experiences since beginning social dancing.

Seeing and talking with other people with the same doubts and fears as us a month ago helped me to relax, and I’m in a very good mood, so I spot for the first “victim” of the night, and I ask a nearly lady if she would spare a dance for a beginner.

While we go to the dancefloor, we have a little chit chat in which I discover that she does mostly cuban salsa, with my same instructor, only that in the most advanced level that our studio offers (pressure raises). Also, she happens to go to class with a female friend of mine, which I haven’t seen in 4 or 5 years, but she’s indirectly responsible for me joining salsa classes, and directly responsible for me joining this particular dance studio, style and instructor.

Once we reach a suitable free space in the dancefloor, I find myself looking at her, who is returning my eye contact with her incredible eyes and wonderful smile, and I swear that all the symptoms of the “Beginner’s Hell” disappeared as if by magic! I’m a little guilty for having to break eye contact at the beginning of the song, but I need to focus really hard the first moments of a new song to find the clave or the most noticeable instrument and find the rhythm. So for the next bar and a half I isolate myself from everything but the music and try to not think about how sexy the person in front of me is. Meanwhile, we are in closed stance but we still haven’t moved.

As soon as I find the rhythm in the song, I raise my stare to find that she is still looking at me with those gorgeous eyes and smile. Simultaneously, I begin the motion for the basic step. The whole dance passed incredibly fast for me. Most of all, I remember being amazed (almost mesmerized) by her basic step at the first bars of the song. Not only she had an incredible style, she was adding a little rotation to the steps (we were not doing them in a linear direction – back and front -, we were slowly turning forming a circle) and I remember that it felt so good.

From here, pretty much everything flowed alone. I was having lots of fun, she was so easy to lead (she was easily one of the most advanced followers of the club that night and could read and execute the movements even though my lead it’s still not that good) and I found myself doing and combining in fun ways the small repertory of movements I know (sometimes repeating patterns that we have done in school, sometimes improvising).

I remember that I was so comfortable that I tried an enchufla variation that we did only during a few minutes in the last class (I struggled in class). It didn’t went good as we couldn’t finish the move because I didn’t know how to lead it, but she immediately asked me if I could do that another time, because she wanted to see if she could follow this time. I did it, and we managed to complete the movement, although it was a bit awkward and sloppy. I’ll remember to practice this move at home for next time!

-- At this point I see that at this pace this would be a very very long post, so I’ll try to be more concrete in the next dances –-

After this amazing dance and commenting the play with my mates, I ask another lady for a dance. Turns out she practices both styles and is at one of the upper courses of cuban salsa.

She was also very friendly, looking at my eyes and smiling almost the whole time (this is a big ON for me, as it helps me immensely to forget about the Beginner’s Hell symptoms). This dance was also incredible, she followed so well that it everything seemed easier than what it was.

I noticed myself, though, having to look for her shoulder very far when doing enchuflas dobles, so I have to practice to give the signal a bit before. Also (this happened in the previous and subsequent dances too), I need to work on leading the basic side step and guapea. It seems I can’t lead them clearly enough, and my partners “reincorporate” in the movement with a little bit of delay (as if they see me stepping to the left, and then they know it’s a side step).

She is also a friend of one of my beginner friend mates (learned this much later into the night), so hopefully I’ll have more dances with her.

The third dance of the night was with a girl that was standing at the edge of the dancefloor and was so obvious that she wanted to dance. She wasn’t as advanced as the first two follows but she still was way better than me. Anyway, we had a very nice dance and I got complimented on having a very solid basis for the rhythm (which in fact, flattered me much because is one of the few compliments that I can sincerely believe at this moment :-P)

Also, I remember her having a very particular style in which she moved a lot the upper part of the body, which difficulted a little my lead, as I tend to place my right hand in the lower back of the girl, most than in the shoulder blade (am I doing wrong?)

The fourth dance was with a girl that took only 3 or 4 free classes years ago. She had some small problems sometimes following the rhythm, but we managed to pass a good 4-5 minutes and executing decently the movements (sometimes a bit of problems synchronizing enchuflas, but I’ll need to work in this).

The most shocking and flattering moment of the night, thought, came right after this last dance. As I was walking to the beginner’s corner (where my mates and I stand when not dancing :P), a lady that was watching the previous dance asked me if I would like to dance with her. I told her that I would delightfully dance with her, and it turned that she was a very very good follow, even though she was doing the beginner LA style class and only had a few classes.

After this fifth dance, my brother and I left to home (we both had an amazing last dance and wanted to end the Sunday on a high note).

--- Brief resume for those who TL;DR:
Had an amazing night, with almost no symptoms of Beginner’s Hell. I had a lot of fun and had 5 nice dances (1st, 2nd and 5th plainly amazing). Still need to improve my lead though, and I cannot take this night as a reliable sample, as I managed to dance with some of the most advanced followers of the night and they were compensating a lot of my lacks as lead.
 
Alxion said:
I still have a lot to improve, but oh man, what a difference with yesterday. I had a lot of fun, and easily had three awesome dances that right now are my most enjoyable memories since I started salsa :-)
Click to expand...

Wow, what an awesome attitude you have. Going out to different places without the comfort of your classmates takes guts.

Keep doing that and I have no doubt you'll reach all of your goals and then some :)

Chris
 
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