Some things to ponder or at least make you chuckle.....

#1
1. If the sun is so bad for us, why don't we work during the night and sleep during the day?
2. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
3. A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense
4. A rose by any other name would still attract aphids
5. A self-addressed envelope would be addressed 'envelope'
6. I started out with nothing... I still have most of it
7. If you can read this, you've just wasted your time on reading the sentence 'If you can read this, you've just wasted your time on reading the sentence'-Twice!
8. If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind
9. When a cow laughs, does milk come up its nose ?
10. Why do they put braille on number pads of the drive up bank teller machines ?
11. How did a fool and his money ever get together to begin with ?
12. If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan ?
13. How do they get deer to cross the road in front of that little yellow sign ?
14. What is another word for thesaurus ?
15. What do they use to ship styrofoam ?
16. Why is abbreviation such a long word ?
17. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream ?
18. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets ?
19. How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes ?
20. Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny ?
21. When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn ?
22. Does fuzzy logic tickle ?
23. Why do they call it a TV set if you only get one ?
24. What was the best thing before sliced bread ?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle ?
26. Is it possible to be totally partial ?
27. If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success ?
28. If the funeral procession is at night, do they drive with their lights off ?
29. If a Stealth bomber crashes in the forest, will it make a sound ?
30. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent ?
31. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages ?
32. When it rains, how come sheep don't shrink ?
33. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers ?
34. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift ?
35. Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites ?
36. Why do they call it a hot water heater ?
 

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