My Rules for Social Dancing

#1
After dancing for over 15 years, taking classes and private lessons, going to clubs, socials and congresses, I've come up with these personal rules to make sure I have fun every night I go out dancing.

First of all is preparation. I review things I want to work on or perfect, shower, clean clothes, and breath mints. I smile and say hi when I get to the venue.

I'm there to dance and not play social games, drama, or entitlement. Because I travel a lot, I'm often a new and unknown leader. I understand a bit of the follows perspective in being cautious about new leaders for fear of getting jerked around or creeped out, and wanting to check things out first. However, I'm not a mind reader. If a follow wants to check me out and refuses my first offer, in my mind the burden is on the follow to ask me, not for me to second guess the reasons. If I guess wrong or misread the subtle social signals, I start collecting rejections and my fun factor goes down.

A no or no thank you tells me you aren't interested in dancing with me and I won't bother to ask again. I really don't care about the reason.

An I'm tired and then two seconds later dancing, sorry no more asks.

I'm tired and sitting out, I'll re-ask.
I'm taking a break, I'll re-ask.
A not right now, I'll re-ask.

I try to dance with every follow at least one salsa and one bachata.

When I run out of partners or fill my dance card, I go home.

I will dance with one of the follows on my do not ask list if they ask, but hovering around me hoping I'll ask doesn't work.

I'm sure I miss some good follows but I'm there to dance and have fun and not stress about why or why not someone wants or doesn't want to dance with me. I won't torture myself wondering if I should ask again. No me importa.
 
#2
My rules for social dancing are to have no rules.

I have had fun dancing to some of the worst music imaginable with few partners.

Of course getting rejections suck, but if we take ourselves too seriously when dancing, we allow less room for creative spontaneity.

I admit i am in a more serious phase right now in my dancing, but i can go back to being carefree very quickly if the mood strikes.

Dance for yourself and nobody else and you will never let yourself down.
 
#5
I never ask for dance first even if I want to dance with a particular partner. It is strange, I know ...but I cannot help myself. I think, if that dancer wants to dance with me, he will ask.
 
#6
The social dancing scene in dance studios are and will always be very strange to me. They seem to resemble a mix between school prom parties and ballroom formal parties with Latin music.

When I was young I used to dance in clubs back home and I would come with a woman or with friends ( including women) and even if I come alone, I would sit on a table, grab a beer, signal a girl with body language from across the room if she wants to dance. If so, I go and grab her hand a let's dance.

However, in dance studios you are typically standing up, no drinks, no food, very weird.
 
#9
However, in dance studios you are typically standing up, no drinks, no food, very weird.
Personally, I do not need food or drink when I dance salsa:) I can dance 8 hours, and I need just water and if it is hot and no conditioners, the place where I can change my clothes because I do not like to be sweaty. I also wash my hands after every fifth partner, because some of them do not care to do so.
 
#10
Personally, I do not need food or drink when I dance salsa:) I can dance 8 hours, and I need just water and if it is hot and no conditioners, the place where I can change my clothes because I do not like to be sweaty. I also wash my hands after every fifth partner, because some of them do not care to do so.
I'm usually confused why people dance in non-latin countries.

it's like dancing is just another hobby that you do on your own.

for instance. I play volleyball and hike often.
I could play volleyball or hile for several hrs with some breaks.

however, dancing without drinks, food, sitting down for a bit feels very weird to me. I find most people see salsa dancing like if they are in the movie " dirty dancing " or "shall we dance?". I see it more like "dance with me" instead.
 
#11
I'm usually confused why people dance in non-latin countries.

it's like dancing is just another hobby that you do on your own.

for instance. I play volleyball and hike often.
I could play volleyball or hile for several hrs with some breaks.

however, dancing without drinks, food, sitting down for a bit feels very weird to me. I find most people see salsa dancing like if they are in the movie " dirty dancing " or "shall we dance?". I see it more like "dance with me" instead.
On the rare occasion that I go out to a regular European club. I don't sit, no food and only water. I watch the other people dancing. Try to enjoy the music. Start dancing myself if I get my groove on.
Difference with a Latin night out is that I then dance as a couple.
And in my private time I mostly listen to Latin music (preferably Buena Vista and alike) and often dance or groove on my own. So salsa is not "just another hobby".
Oh yeah. I'm as Caucasian as they get and raised as a good semi Christian/Atheist. And salsa? What the hell was salsa before I started to learn this dance?
 
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#12
however, dancing without drinks, food, sitting down for a bit feels very weird to me. I find most people see salsa dancing like if they are in the movie " dirty dancing " or "shall we dance?". I see it more like "dance with me" instead.
I go out only once per week, so I do not need any conversations, words... food or drinks. All these social rituals are a waste of time for me:D ....The only thing I need is dancing. :rolleyes:
 
#13
Interesting opinions.

I treat dancing not as a sport, but as a social activity. I take breaks. I sit, have a drink and watch. I can enjoy having a conversation as much as I enjoy just sitting in the corner and staying silent. I observe the social dynamics in the room. I watch how couples engage each other on the dance floor. I've also got lost dancing the night away with exactly one person the whole evening, not even caring what other people must be thinking of me. I am in my element when dancing. Social dancing is most definitely a very cathartic activity for me.

And in my scene, I am one of the more reserved and quiet ones... the sober one. The one who seems bored all the time.

If only people knew.
 
#15
I never ask for dance first even if I want to dance with a particular partner. It is strange, I know ...but I cannot help myself. I think, if that dancer wants to dance with me, he will ask.
Your profile suggests you are primarily a follower (my assumption). Therefore above is on par for the course.

But what about the second dance :wacky:
 
#16
Your profile suggests you are primarily a follower (my assumption). Therefore above is on par for the course.

But what about the second dance :wacky:
I am 100% follower:)
I do not ask guys for dance because I want them to decide. Perhaps he wants to ask that hot beginner:).
 
#19
I mean that I had none or very little idea about what salsa (the dance and the music) was before I took my first dance class.
Yes, I had seen Dirty Dancing :oops: and will probably have heard some Latin songs on the radio. But my exposure was very very limited.

And I prefer son, as I'm more on the Cuban side of things :D
 

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