Help! Salsa crush won't fade....

I totally get where you are coming from. I don't think of men as evil but I do think this particular one is bad for me.
ok, that particular on is bad for you.
dont talk to him, dont think about him.
salsa has drama. give up salsa, take up tango.
end of discussion.

:)
 
I went out to the club last night, and he wasn't there - first time in 9 months he didn't go. I thought it would be a relief not to have him there. But I really missed him; I missed dancing with him. He also wasn't in class on Thursday, and it seems I see less and less of him these days. I just need to grieve and move on. I'm pretty sure that he's just not over his divorce and doesn't want to get involved with anyone, though there are probably a few women who are special to him - I'm sure one of them, or at least I was at one time. I also just lost my mom, so the grief is a little intensified right now - it all blends together. Now that the grief has hit me, I can finally move on.

Anyway, there are many other things I'd like to do with my time that I've been neglecting over my salsa obsession. I need to get back to those things. I think it will still be awkward going to Costa Rica with the friend who is in his apprentice program, but I'll work it out somehow. I'm not upset with her. I just need some distance from all of it. Like lastquestion said, I consider the whole thing a learning experience.

Once again, I appreciate all of the comments. Blogging on here has really helped me. And it's cheaper than therapy. lol
 
LOL - Seattle is VERY corporate. The salsa scene is dominated by yuppies, and there are even several instructors who work for Microsoft. It ain't Cali. ;)
Cali it is definitely not...I know all the instructors and none of them work for Microsoft!!!,I do know a lot of dancers who work for Microsoft, but also many who don't, they image of Seattle you are portraying is not the image of the Seattle salsa scene that I know and love. The next time I go to the Century Ballroom for that amazing event known as "Vinyl Night" I'll be on the lookout for the corporate types....
 
Cali it is definitely not...I know all the instructors and none of them work for Microsoft!!!,I do know a lot of dancers who work for Microsoft, but also many who don't, they image of Seattle you are portraying is not the image of the Seattle salsa scene that I know and love. The next time I go to the Century Ballroom for that amazing event known as "Vinyl Night" I'll be on the lookout for the corporate types....
they image =the image
 
It makes sense. Salsa is very sexually charged to begin with. Look at the women's attire, for starters. Women are attracted to strong male leads. And those men are on a quest to dance with better, younger, prettier, sexier, more skilled dancers. At least that's what I have observed and what I hear. It's the job of the woman to make the man look good on the dance floor. And then all kinds of women want to dance with him and some even throw themselves at him. It's like being a rock star. That type of power is very alluring. Several of the men I've danced with (and a few that I've gone out with once or twice) have mentioned to me about the other women they dance with - that they got this one or that one to dance with them. The really honest ones told me that it was because I made them look good on the dance floor.
Where on earth is this heaven? :) I want to move there!!
 
Maybe it's Reno. The last time I saw you there, it seemed like there were two attractive women following you around everywhere.:)
Ha ha only two?.. but I don't think either thought of me as a strong male lead, or made me look good, or wanted to dance with me and most importantly - forget sexually charged salsa, I don't think I even got a sexy bachata from them :p

P.S. - May be I had secret body guards I didn't know about :D
 

azana

Super Moderator
Staff member
Tall, hot Japanese guy in jeans and grey hoodie (give me a guy in Uniqlo any day!), I have a giant, uncontrollable crush on you. Well, actually, it's controllable only because I've left the country. Otherwise I would probably be at Salsa Caribe every night stalking you. When I arrived and started to compile my hitlist for the night, you shot to the top. But I wasn't sure - would a lead as amazing as you be receptive? I didn't have to worry - you came over to me and asked. Twice! Yes, the salsa was fabulous. You know that move when you kept wrapping your arm around my neck? A lead in San Francisco did that one with me, and my reaction was: "That's a cool move". You, on the other hand, executed it to PERFECTION. My reaction was: "That's so seductive!" However, the bachata - wow. Heaven. Heaven, stars and exploding fireworks. Fun Dominican steps interspersed with close (okay, very close :) ) holds and luscious dips. Why did that song have to stop? That bachata will be etched in my memory for decades to come.

Thanks for coming over and saying "See you!" when you left. Oh, I wish!!! Please be at Caribe next time I'm in Japan. You will be able to turn me into a drooling schoolgirl again...
 
I missed this thread the first time. Emotions and entanglements can be rough sometimes. While it would be cool to meet someone to date in the salsa scene, I am +20 years older than most of the crowd. So I don't have to worry about getting confused or frustrated since the age gap typically neutralizes these kind of things. Also, I am in the middle of the pack, in terms of skill, so I dont have to worry about my skill at dancing getting anyone hot and bothered. Thank goodness!!

Although ... there is one lady at the salsa club who was very flirty with me and clearly interested, until after about a month or two, she realized I was 17 years older than her. But had the age difference been half that, it would have been a mutual interest. So I am not totally immune to these sorts of things, but being in my 40s, I dont usually have to worry about relationships in our small salsa scene in the slightest. :)

Anyway its been 9 or 10 months since the OP. Hope it all worked out, one way or the other!
 
Although ... there is one lady at the salsa club who was very flirty with me and clearly interested, until after about a month or two, she realized I was 17 years older than her.
I had something like that happen, but was oblivious. I wondered why this woman was hanging around me a lot, until one night after we connected on Facebook, and she approached me with,

"You didn't tell me you HAVE A DAUGHTER MY AGE!"

BTW, don't count yourself out so quickly. In my scene, I see a lot of 40-something guys with 20-something girlfriends.
 

azana

Super Moderator
Staff member
Exactly - don't count yourself out at all, guys! Age is pretty irrelevant if you have a connection there.

I had another fun dance this week in Tokyo - a seriously drop dead gorgeous Latino with whom I had a no boundaries whatsoever merengue (I could imagine all of the staid Japanese around thinking "Look - there are two gaijin having vertical sex on the dance floor!" A little cutie who really wanted to dance, and it was already 3am, so I just thought "Whatever!") He lunged at me afterwards as I was going upstairs (Sorry, mate, I'm not that kind of girl :) and there was more room to dance upstairs, anyway!) He would have been at the very least 15 years younger than me! He was apologising that he wasn't that good a dancer, although he really had that Latin sabor and made his simple steps work, and this boy was having fun in other ways! I play a lot of sport and so have a good figure and I love to dance and ham it up with merengue, so you can pull off a coupling like that which wouldn't work in many other scenarios. I did inwardly have a good laugh about the whole situation and that dance.
 
:( This thread is quite sad. I am just wondering...what comes first. Dance connection or personal connection...We like a person because we like to dance with him/her or we like the person, and it makes us feel that we like to dance with him/her.
 

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