Boner in bachata (or kizomba)

#22
Okay here's some practical advice. I don't get boners when I dance, but I am a *cough* healthy individual. Get tight briefs and angle your buddy up. if you wear jeans and you get one, it won't seem like you have one because of the angle and usually your shirt hangs pretty low. Also, pretend to have a stomach ache and bend over when you do feel one coming if you don't have that. ;)
 
#23
it happens :) only on special occasions for me theres 3 situations when its happening.

1: the girl is extraordinarily beautiful or i really like her looks even if shes not a supermodel lol(finding a new dance crush?). tough i try to keep my distance as subtle as possible without breaking our closed connection. if that doesnt work i switch to open dance position untill it wears off lol

2: its my dance crush and i know she likse to dance with me. i would still try to keep my distance but not much and i wouldnt really care if she would feel it by accident lol. and if im lost in the music well i just hope she doesnt notice it too much :D

3. the kind of women that immediatly dances in a sexy closed position. and we're sort of grinding. then ill just let it happen. but these situations are kinda rare.

some ladys use a technique to keep their lower body away from the private parts :) still havent figured it out how to explain it. but its a good way of dancing close without grinding. only your upperbody will be pressed against him ofcourse. and a man should never forc your lower body to his
 
#27
That why I wear jean to avoid this. The only thing that happened to me was I got aroused by getting unexpected neck kissing & biting from half drunk drop-dead gorgeous lady when we danced bachata. :rolleyes:
 
#28
This happened to me yesterday in a kizomba class. The girl was attractive and wearing somewhat revealing clothing, tight jeans, belly button piercing, makeup, perfume, etc. It was a practice exercise, thanks goodness. My other head starting taking control, it's actually uncomfortable in that situation, because as I tried to keep focus on the dance. My friend downstairs started to develop a mind of it's own, it's sort a tug of war going on. It is very distracting to dancing. Lucky the practice move ended quickly and was relieved it was over. Also started getting self conscious if I have a massive bulge in the crotch area. I'm not sure what to do down the road, do I ignore girls I find too attractive to dance with? If they were ask me to dance, do I just not accept the offer. I don't want to come across a douche, but I also not rather be popping boners on the dance floor.
 
#29
This is pretty simple. Open hold. That's it.

If you must, you can 'adjust yourself' prior to dancing... in the privacy of a bathroom, away from prying eyes... to have your johnson pointing in the direction of your left leg, rather than right. It is usually your right leg that is between the lady's legs. However, if you're doing closed hold correctly, it's actually your thighs that touch and lead, and maybe upper chest, not your groin. Most guys won't have the problem of having their 'excitement' revealed if it's their lower thighs touching. If that is indeed your problem, well, congratulations.
 
#30
This happened to me yesterday in a kizomba class. The girl was attractive and wearing somewhat revealing clothing, tight jeans, belly button piercing, makeup, perfume, etc. It was a practice exercise, thanks goodness. My other head starting taking control, it's actually uncomfortable in that situation, because as I tried to keep focus on the dance. My friend downstairs started to develop a mind of it's own, it's sort a tug of war going on. It is very distracting to dancing. Lucky the practice move ended quickly and was relieved it was over. Also started getting self conscious if I have a massive bulge in the crotch area. I'm not sure what to do down the road, do I ignore girls I find too attractive to dance with? If they were ask me to dance, do I just not accept the offer. I don't want to come across a douche, but I also not rather be popping boners on the dance floor.
You change hold to a more open position and make sure you don't get into contact in the general groin area.

With time and getting used to the dance you should be able to dance closely without having all the biological reactions going with it, but it takes time to get comfortable with the physical proximity, touch and smell of the dance partner. And of course if you are dancing it wrong and are actually grinding then it's inevitable for a healthy male, but that can be corrected by having correct dance technique, stand, hold and frame.

Most guys won't have the problem of having their 'excitement' revealed if it's their lower thighs touching. If that is indeed your problem, well, congratulations.
:dancingbanana:
 
#31
You change hold to a more open position and make sure you don't get into contact
Except that will fail when that guy is dancing with an over enthusiastic follower going in for tight embrace :D

p.s. - Sometimes it is the girls from whom guys have to try and maintain some distance when dancing. .
 
#33
Yes, this happens occasionally with me. She must notice it, but often doesn't do anything to avoid that her thigh is bumping me.

What would you do in this case?
You just go with it ;)

In the rest of the post I'll assume you are talking about kizomba, and will give mostly kizomba-specific advice.

Just kidding. Since you ask I'll assume that you are not okay with it (with her) and the contact is not welcome. In cases like that I try to create distance:
  1. more open hold - create distance in that you open the frame into more of a semba hold, stop maintaining chest contact, etc.
  2. beer-belly - depending on your physical constitution you might simply push your stomach out and she will not reach you with her thighs anymore (unless she is actively trying to kick you in the groin)
  3. lean forward - this also depends on your physical parameters, but if you have some mass in the chest area you can create distance between your and her thighs by leaning slightly forward with your chest. If you are muscular and/or the woman has some boobs, she would really have to arch her back to be able to maintain unwanted contact
  4. static position with one leg back - stop doing steps, remain in one place but make about a one foot-long step with one of your feet backwards (which leg depends on the male parts) while keeping your weight on the foot that is in front or slightly between. Don't lead her (and don't let her) to follow you into that step. You will end up presenting just the safe part of the body to contact with her.
  5. static position with pelvis twisted to the side + hand hold - similar to 4. you want to present just the safe side of your body, so you twist your pelvis (as in turn one of your hips back away from her - which one depends again on the male fun parts) and just stand in place dancing some soft tarraxinha or something. Some girls will try to follow your movement or press themselves on you, but you can control that by changing your hold - letting her to hold you with both arms around your shoulders, and you put one hand on/against her hip (on the side which you twisted away). That way, you can actively press against her hip and restrict her movement towards you. + bonus - with this hold you can still lead some quality tarraxinha, you just have much more control about the space between you
I tend to use 1, 4 and 5, but I guess it's very often about your individual body dimensions (and that of the woman ofc) and dance style.

Then there are of course 2 other ways (that are also applicable in non-kizomba context):
  1. tell her - especially if she is a friend you can often simply tell her, just use some humour or make it a witty compliment. I would even dare to say, that sometimes girls do not really realize just how close they are to the incriminated area and reminding them in a nonchalant or funny way fixes the issue. Other times it might be their way of showing their interest, and by telling them you are not enjoying it they will stop.
  2. leave - let's be blunt, some women are forcing themselves on you and you are simply not interested in them. If the roles would be reversed, we would call such a guy a creep and tell the girl to abort the dance on the spot and never dance with him again. Sometimes we would even suggest to alert the security. I think it should go both ways - if she insist on grinding and having inappropriate contact then she is sexually molesting you, you should stop the dance right away and never dance with her again. If she keeps bothering you, call the security.
 
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