Boner in bachata (or kizomba)

#1
Hello, I need some opinions from women as well from men. I started to dance bachata sometime ago. Sometimes when I invite some nice looking girl I get boner from dancing with her. In salsa it`s ok because there is distance but lots of people in my town dance bachata pretty close. My questions are:


1) Girls what do you think about guys who are having boner while dancing with you? Do you feel uncomfortable because of it? (I guess yes) Would you agree to dance with that guy next time he invites?

2) If I get boner do I need to immediately go off from close position or stay there like everything is OK


This applies not only to bachata but to every dance where is close body contact (kizomba for example) and partners feel each other very good. I know these questions might sound a bit vulgar but it`s not a trolling or something. This problem does exist.
 
#2
Hello, I need some opinions from women as well from men. I started to dance bachata sometime ago. Sometimes when I invite some nice looking girl I get boner from dancing with her. In salsa it`s ok because there is distance but lots of people in my town dance bachata pretty close. My questions are:

1) Girls what do you think about guys who are having boner while dancing with you? Do you feel uncomfortable because of it? (I guess yes) Would you agree to dance with that guy next time he invites?
Feel uncomfortable and will move away from him. Will notr dnace with him againn.

2) If I get boner do I need to immediately go off from close position or stay there like everything is OK
My advice. You feel a boner coming on, back off before the girl notices or you will get a reputation as a perv.
 
#6
Hello, I need some opinions from women as well from men. I started to dance bachata sometime ago. Sometimes when I invite some nice looking girl I get boner from dancing with her. In salsa it`s ok because there is distance but lots of people in my town dance bachata pretty close. My questions are:

...snip...

2) If I get boner do I need to immediately go off from close position or stay there like everything is OK

...snip...
Personally, I wouldn't dance closed position with a girl while aroused, for the same reason I wouldn't grind with someone while overly-excited: it's just fundamentally gross to be rubbing your genitalia against someone else's body.
 
#7
Starting with "sensual" dances for an socially deprived guy can be a little bit though. The looks, smell, body of a nice woman can be a real turn on and if you are shy, you can get easily aroused. Since you mentioned that you have this problem even salsa, it tells me that you are one of those guys...

The good thing - you will get used to close body contact and with enough time and dancing it will cease to be a problem.

Until then, yes, you should immediately back off and keep distance. In addition, you should really work on your dancing, because in bachata and even in kizomba it is not okay to grind, so either you or your dance partners, are dancing it wrong.
 
#9
Its such a natural reaction for a guy...For me It totally depends on the guy and how he responds. As long as a guy is not being a slime-ball and deliberately rubbing it on me I wouldn't really think twice about it. But I think the above advice is good advice...if you feel one coming on back off cause you don't want the reputation of the "creepy boner dude". And you might offend or scare a more naive or reserved woman.
For the record it is not just in Bachata and you don't necessarily need to be grinding..I have felt them in salsas also.
 
#10
Its such a natural reaction for a guy...For me It totally depends on the guy and how he responds. As long as a guy is not being a slime-ball and deliberately rubbing it on me I wouldn't really think twice about it.
Agreed, it is completely natural. Just don't be a d*ck (pun intended), show some respect to your dance partner and create enough distance so that you do not deliberately rub your partner with it. No need to talk or do anything else about it. Just be a decent human being. If you do that and the woman is also a decent human being, she will understand that it is a part of your natural body physiology and that you can't really stop it on command.
 
#11
This hasn't happened to me yet. Perhaps it has something to do with my being more stressed and apologetic than aroused while dancing bachata. But after reading this thread, I just know that I'll suddenly think of it and have it happen when I least expect it :p
 
#13
This hasn't happened to me yet. Perhaps it has something to do with my being more stressed and apologetic than aroused while dancing bachata. But after reading this thread, I just know that I'll suddenly think of it and have it happen when I least expect it :p
I've actually had this happen due to nervousness. Because of the increase in blood pressure, I guess :/
 
#19
Goodness. Despite being a healthy, sensual person, this has never happened to me.

My first response is - congratulations: if one has to choose between a manhood that works too well and one that doesn't work well enough, always choose one that works too well. :cool:

My second response is: perhaps the person struggling with this is thinking about Salsa all the wrong way. I have about as much of a chance as having "one of those" while doing latin dances as I do as having one during playing basketball or dominos. That is to say: I view dancing as more of a sport, or perhaps a game -- an athletic activity that I am striving to do well. I'm too focused on doing my best and making sure my partner has a good time to have that happen. It isn't sex. It isn't foreplay. There's probably very little romantic going on, usually. Its a fun, innocent activity.
 

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