Vice grips and how to deal with them

Discussion in 'Just Dance' started by Jambo, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. Jambo

    Jambo El Sabroso de Conguero

    Ladies, what do you do when you find yourself dancing with a gripper? Do you tell them?

    I really don't want to be one of those annoying people who start correcting partners on the dancefloor but this is very uncomfortable and with serious grippers (I danced with one last night) quite painful. I tried to wriggle my hand free but every time I did, he gripped harder with his thumb :(.

    I think this is one of the reasons I prefer the 'fingers in a glass' hold, it puts a stop to all that but I know some people don't like it, whatever hand hold the guy prefers I'll try to adjust (though it can feel strange at first sometimes if I'm not used to it), but whether it is palm up, palm down, two fingers.....whatever, surely it is the followers job to keep contact with the leaders hand until he doesn't want it, not the other way round?
    #1
  2. TrulyMadlyAmanda

    TrulyMadlyAmanda Shine Officer

    like you, i dont like to criticise dance partners, but imho there are exceptions to every rule: a) if they ask for feedback, or b) if they cause physical pain! :eek:

    a lot of guys hate being criticised, so i've found saying "Easy, tiger!" or "Ouch!" accompanied by rubbing the affected body part, gets the message across without giving offence. if i use the 'ouch' option, i say it in a sweet/jokey not an angry way.

    if i ask a guy twice in a dance not to do something that physically hurts me, and he does it a third time, i stop the dance and explain why.
  3. Jambo

    Jambo El Sabroso de Conguero

    Hi Amanda :D

    Yes I've tried the 'ooch approach' before but it seems to have the same effect as openly criticizing their dancing (they take offense ;)). I've never been nasty but I've got the cold shoulder from trying (and failing) to help using different tactics and I've not found one that works without causing offense yet :(.
  4. miércoles

    miércoles Nuevo Ritmo

    I find this issue is often a bit of a vicious circle.
    I dance with so many women who present me with a flat hand, meaning I would be forced to use my thumbs if I didn't take the approach I usually do, i.e. politely requesting that they make more of a hook shape with the fingers "...otherwise I'll be forced to use my thumbs and that can be a bit painful for you".
    I'm in no way trying to shift the blame onto the followers. One reason why I believe so many followers dance with flat, limp hands, is that they are used to many leaders using a vice grip. A bit of a chicken and egg situation and, as I say, a vicious circle.
    Ultimately it's the responsibility of the instructors to pick up on this and point out the correct technique for both follower and leader, but in my experience, a polite, diplomatically formulated pointer during the dance is usually taken well. And speaking as a leader, I always welcome constructive criticism.
  5. John S2

    John S2 Son Montuno

  6. Jambo

    Jambo El Sabroso de Conguero

    I agree. Unfortunately one gripper round here is a teacher :eek:
  7. tj

    tj Shine Officer

    I injured my hand a few months ago when a beginner gripped my hand really hard. You could always use that as an excuse: that your hand is still healing, and make a request that way.
  8. bailar y tocar

    bailar y tocar Clave Commander

    This is especially troubling in casino as the moves don't work at all if the follower doesn't let go at the right time point. If I recognize someone is gripping I try to offer only a single finger which is easier to slip away. Sometimes it just doesn't work and then the moves will have to be simple.
    Btw, its spelled vize, but vice could be the intent.
  9. Jambo

    Jambo El Sabroso de Conguero

    I'm English ;)
  10. noobster

    noobster Shine Officer

    No it's not. It's vice or vise, both are correct. Vize is a city of ancient Byzantium.

    If you're going to be picking on people's spelling why don't you concentrate on the viscous/vicious mixup two posts up?
  11. TrulyMadlyAmanda

    TrulyMadlyAmanda Shine Officer

    genius! i love this idea....and it can be made to apply to any body part. :cool: am totally gonna use that from now on....and just try to remember not to look confused when the guy asks after my 'injury' a couple of weeks later. ;)

    i wonder if this can be extended to non-pain issues? "i'd love to do 4 spins-in-a-bar throughout the romantic song 'lady', but i had a very painful break-up yesterday, so would you mind dancing it slowly/romantically please? it's not you, it's me...." ;)
  12. redHOT

    redHOT Son

    I was thinking of asking advice on this a while back, but I just wrote a post in complaints on leads/follows or something like that. I showed an instructor bruises on the backs of my hands where someone had his thumbs *ouch*. Well she said that happens to her & she tries to brush the guy's hand/finger away. I typically, w/o success, try to move my hand downward so only the fingertips can bend over the hand. Sometimes afterward I may say try not to use your thumbs so much. But that is only when it effects my dancing.

    No idea what the right thing to do is. I am sure I am not acting PC on this.
  13. Offbeat

    Offbeat Clave Commander

    I experienced it last night and last week with a friend I took out dancing. An excellent dancer but hasn't danced salsa and is picking it up well on the floor. I understood what a death-like-grip is :) Tried various maneuvers but even when offered a single finger it was held in a vicious hold (enough to give a minor finger ache in the morning).

    Immediately after, I danced with a salsera I know well and we both used only our middle fingers to maintain the hold/tension. It felt heavenly !!
  14. Jambo

    Jambo El Sabroso de Conguero

    I guess I shouldn't have just directed the question just at the ladies, it's clearly a problem guys encounter too ;)
  15. Flujo

    Flujo Sabor Ambassador

    You could take the opportunity while doing the basic to focus intently on your hands while you pry your fingers loose. That could work...then again that was with a follower. A leader might just think you are trying back lead yourself into some free styling and tighten his grip.
  16. MacMoto

    MacMoto Administrator Staff Member

    I had this problem back in Edinburgh - you can tell who his students are by their gripping habit :(
  17. bailar y tocar

    bailar y tocar Clave Commander

    Yikes, good thing I'm not playing scrabble with sf-ers. Mixing up chickens and eggs could become viscous, or could be vicious, its a circular argument.
  18. RugKutta

    RugKutta Tumbao

    Indeed, guys experience this as well. I mostly experience this with beginners, as either they don't know that they shouldn't, or they haven't learned to trust their partner yet, therefore they feel the need to hold on to dear life during a turn since they're not yet convinced that their partner will not allow them to fall. I can't argue with either one, so I don't let it get to me, but it is still an exception to the "no correcting/teaching on the dancefloor" rule, since it's something that can cause discomfort and physical pain.

    Someone made a point in an earlier response about how instructors need to cover this in their classes. I totally agree. When I teach my students, this is one of the first things I cover when I show the men and the ladies how to hold each others hands. I tell the ladies to place their hands in their partner's hands instead of holding them, and then I emphasize that neither the lead or the follower should be gripping the other person's hands, and then I follow it w/ an example and/or joke about how uncomfortable it can be for the other person if it happens.
  19. MacMoto

    MacMoto Administrator Staff Member

    Or worse... a friend of mine had his fingers broken by a salsera with a lobster grip a couple of years ago. He led a turn, she started turning still gripping at his fingers, he tried to shake her off, she hung on for dear life, and snap they went :shock: He was also an amateur musician so was really pissed off that he had to withdrew from a planned concert.
  20. salsashoes

    salsashoes Sonero

    Hi jambo.
    put a plaster ( band-aid ) on your finger and say its injured . Then after the dance with Mr grippy , say that was much better than the death grip you normally have . :eek:

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