Cheering up a frustrated dancer

Discussion in 'Just Dance' started by opm1s6, Nov 15, 2008.

  1. opm1s6

    opm1s6 Sabor Ambassador

    So I have a friend of mine who really had a bad night last night. She was a bit of a disaster and just couldn't do anything right. It was mostly psychological, and she couldn't find balance in her following and spinning, and eventually over thought and forced all her moves. Still, I love dancing with her because she's so goofy and fun...I'd like to cheer her up a bit and boost her morale before we practice again on Sunday. Any thoughts, or youtube videos that could help? Maybe an interview with a famous salsera about how bad they were when they started? I'm looking for anything to cheer her up

  2. Flujo

    Flujo Sabor Ambassador

    This might not be the answer you're looking for but I'd go the other way. I'd suggest that we get on the floor and take the mick out of each other, have a laugh. After that you'll both be more relaxed and can get back into it. You said she's goofy and fun so maybe she'd be up for it if it happens again in the future.
  3. azzey

    azzey El Sabroso de Conguero

    I totally agree.

    Hers is a clear example of performance anxiety. I danced with a girl last night who had been put through the ringer a few times by bad leads and by the time I arrived she was jumpy, couldn't control her movements and was afraid of making mistakes.

    What I always tell girls is "every mistake is an opportunity to play". With them I really emphasise the smooth flowing of my lead and play with alternative leads to whatever the follower does.

    A good leaders job is to take each missed lead and turn it into an alternative move, whereby the follower may not even know that a mistake was made.

    Once they are having fun again and become more relaxed you can develop the dance again.

    Even advanced salseras suffer from this from time to time. Really fast tracks are harder to dance to with no mistakes.

    Tell her even professionals make mistakes but they are better at covering them up. Flawless dances only look flawless to the untrained eye.

    If she doesn't believe you. Ask a non-dancer or beginner who has watched you both dance what mistakes she made. I bet they don't see any.
  4. crazygirl

    crazygirl Rhythm Deputy

    Oh Azzey you make me think about having a salsa forum crush on you :)

    You speak such lovely wise words and if you are as good in real life then I hope to dance with you someday, somewhere. (Be grateful you are opposite end of country hehe).

    I used to suffer from this quite a bit in the early days and can still occasionally if things are not going well. As you suggested, it's really more of a mental problem which then manifests itself in the physical.

    For me I need to go find someone I know will take really good care of me in the dance if I say I am having a bad dance night (bit like you Azzey - I kind of suspect they have altered the lead but it's so well done that I can't be quite sure and they would never make me feel bad about it) and then come away feeling relaxed and that I can dance again.

    Take her back to the basics and make her smile. Failing that visit to the bar and buy the relaxation ;)

    And this has to cheer anyone up who's feeling down about their dancing:
  5. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Great find crazygirl; definitely worth a couple of laughs! :lol:
  6. crazygirl

    crazygirl Rhythm Deputy

    Glad you liked it! Bit silly but gave me a giggle when I first found it a while back.

    As Azzey said, we forget sometimes how impressive a bit of salsa looks to the unitiated. Have been embarrassed by the odd round of applause on occasion....
  7. narcosis

    narcosis Sonero

    Sometimes I find it a good remedy to just forget about the bad dances or even the whole night altogether. Poor form takes many guises, but often we just need to clear our minds with a good rest or a good laugh for that matter.

    hxxp:// :p
  8. antigone

    antigone Pattern Police

    Has someone been taping my family's birthday parties and putting them on youtube??
  9. MacMoto

    MacMoto Administrator Staff Member

    In addition to the great advice you've already received:

    Does *she* know this? Tell her! There's nothing that cheers me up more than leaders telling me they enjoy dancing with me :)
  10. sweavo

    sweavo Maestro 'Guaguanco' Rodríguez

    There should be no such thing as an unaltered lead IMO. Leaders have to read their followers.

    LOL. That puts my gripes about Friday night's floorcraft issues into perspective.
  11. Jambo

    Jambo El Sabroso de Conguero

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    I've most definitely danced with the dude @ 0:52 ;)
  12. beef

    beef Changui

    lol - it did cheer me up to see someone else struggling with their leading though
  13. smiling28

    smiling28 Moderator

    cannot see the videos but great responses everyone.

    I always tell the girl (sometimes myself but not enough he he) that even teh best dance/dancer has not made it rain money or cured cancer miraculously with a perfect 5 spins he he.

    As for me, when I am down I come on here and relate to others who make me feel better.

    Time for you to get her on here Opm1s6???

    :) :) :)
  14. salsamarty

    salsamarty Rhythm Deputy

    First. This is excellent:

    Next. Whenever a follower is having trouble I have two stock comments:
    1) There are no mistakes in salsa. We are there to have fun
    2) If she isn't following the lead then it's because I'm not leading correctly.
  15. SnowDancer

    SnowDancer Clave Commander

    Pretty much the same for me. If something doesn't work, and my partner starts to apologize, I tell her it's something new I'm working on and don't have down yet (which is true by definition).
  16. smiling28

    smiling28 Moderator

    simple solution: You have a dance with her. I bet she will be over the moon ;)
  17. Berend

    Berend Son Montuno

    How about simply being a listening ear and telling some bad beat stories of yourself?
  18. sweavo

    sweavo Maestro 'Guaguanco' Rodríguez

    I like these. I sometimes tell them conspiratorially never to show that something went wrong -- that it's 80% bluff and the best dancers are alway messing up.
  19. opm1s6

    opm1s6 Sabor Ambassador

    this video also helps....thanks to addicted to salsa
  20. lolita

    lolita Capitán Del Estilo

    Hey..... JUST GIVER HER MY NUMBER....I'll tell her about all the little accidents that happened in my salsa history.

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