Found out recently that 2 recently married salsa stars are now recently divorced salsa stars. Another high profile couple is "separated." We all know about the duo from LA that had the big breakup a few years ago. I guess the nature of the scene is not conducive to keeping die hard salsa couples together? Don't know if there are any more in salsa than in general?
Why So Many Salsa Break-Ups
- Thread starter AguaDulce
- Start date
MacMoto said:
I do not think the fact that these people perform and or teach has any bearing on the health of their relationships.
Some of these couples break up because of infidelities or because they can not spend quality time together, or because they do not share the same life objectives, just like couples in any other domain.
What you never hear is stories about every other successful couple out there. What you DO hear is GOSSIP. But frankly Who cares? As far as I know, the people I assume you are talking about are all still teaching and dancing so let us stay out of their personal businness and enjoy the dancing.
:applause: :applause: :applause:Jones said:
Jones said:
as for talking abotu the celebrities, hear hear!!!!!!!!!
Great post as always.
TO the original question. I have not noticed more breakups in the salsa world then non -salsa. I DO think that the high profile persons are treated to more scrutiny and exposure thus blowing their life actions out of proportion (ie. if they get together everyone hears about it, if they break up same thing). You just hear about it more than say your postman or milkman
Ron Obvious
Son
Jones said:
So much wisdom in so few word. I absolutely agree.
:applause: :applause: :applause:
To say something positive about gossip.., well.., at least it indicates interest in people, and sensible people should be able to have some discernment regarding what is credible. But gossip at a forum like this, ehm.., not too classy..
I would expect there to be a higher divorce rate among dancers. They have above all lot's of opportunity. They are also young, desirable, they don't make that much money (seems to be an important divorce factor), and all their "training" in dealing with the opposite sex should make them pretty good at hiding infidelities, and the dancing gives plenty of convenient excuses for spending quality time with the wrong person.
Some people start dancing to find a partner, a way to loose one as well?
I would expect there to be a higher divorce rate among dancers. They have above all lot's of opportunity. They are also young, desirable, they don't make that much money (seems to be an important divorce factor), and all their "training" in dealing with the opposite sex should make them pretty good at hiding infidelities, and the dancing gives plenty of convenient excuses for spending quality time with the wrong person.
Some people start dancing to find a partner, a way to loose one as well?
We could also speak of couples that do well. Sonyo and Bernard Martinez are a happily married couple... 
cutesalsadoll said:We could also speak of couples that do well. Sonyo and Bernard Martinez are a happily married couple...
You are right. Initially I wanted to commend those couples, but I didn't want to mention names. But salsa may help keep some couples together as well.
AguaDulce said:cutesalsadoll said:We could also speak of couples that do well. Sonyo and Bernard Martinez are a happily married couple...
You are right. Initially I wanted to commend those couples, but I didn't want to mention names. But salsa may help keep some couples together as well.
I don't think anyone minds you saying nice things about them - Sonyo and Bernard have been married a little over 7 years - but I don't think it is Salsa that keeps them together - they just share the same passion for dance. For them I think it is strong moral character. The dancing is a bonus.
There are other married couples too that have not been married long but seem really happy together.
I think Salsa can be bad for a relationship if
1) someone is insecure/jealous/controlling and doesn't like seeing their S/O dancing with so many people or out late at night for practices/at clubs
or
2) if someone doesn't respect certain limits / boundaries : some dancers seem to like it to be as seductive as possible rather then just dance
I'm not saying any of this is true for the salsa stars that were married and broke up - I don't know their business, and, just because they both dance salsa doesn't mean salsa broke them up - the problem in their relationship can be non-salsa related. I'm only talking about generalities...
cutesalsadoll said:AguaDulce said:cutesalsadoll said:We could also speak of couples that do well. Sonyo and Bernard Martinez are a happily married couple...
You are right. Initially I wanted to commend those couples, but I didn't want to mention names. But salsa may help keep some couples together as well.
I don't think anyone minds you saying nice things about them - Sonyo and Bernard have been married a little over 7 years - but I don't think it is Salsa that keeps them together - they just share the same passion for dance. For them I think it is strong moral character. The dancing is a bonus.
There are other married couples too that have not been married long but seem really happy together.
I think Salsa can be bad for a relationship if
1) someone is insecure/jealous/controlling and doesn't like seeing their S/O dancing with so many people or out late at night for practices/at clubs
or
2) if someone doesn't respect certain limits / boundaries : some dancers seem to like it to be as seductive as possible rather then just dance
I'm not saying any of this is true for the salsa stars that were married and broke up - I don't know their business, and, just because they both dance salsa doesn't mean salsa broke them up - the problem in their relationship can be non-salsa related. I'm only talking about generalities...
good post, completely understand.
Am tempted to ask if you have had a salsa relationship as you seem to know a lot but will not derail the thread
quixotedlm
Changui
A case *for* discussing "gossip" like this
Many of us are salsaholics. There is a good chance that a nontrivial bunch of us would want our own life partnes to be (salsa) dancers as well.
Discussing high-profile gossip-y material like this has a bearing on our own lives - because it helps us by giving an opportunity to think through the potential tradeoffs we are about to make, and what we need to do to learn from others' succcesses and mistakes.
This is no different from discussing,say,Gandhi ('....great man... walked half naked... kids turned out badly raised... the British took him seriously...father of a nation... influenced the world like nothing else... got cheated out of a Nobel... did weird things like drink urine and sleep half naked with women he had no intention of doing anything more with...'). There are lessons to be learned in both facts and myths - because oftentimes, myths are influenced by facts,and they highlight the big +ve and big -ves of reality, thus making it a wonderful example to learn from and better live our own lives.
So I say, go forth and gossip away
Many of us are salsaholics. There is a good chance that a nontrivial bunch of us would want our own life partnes to be (salsa) dancers as well.
Discussing high-profile gossip-y material like this has a bearing on our own lives - because it helps us by giving an opportunity to think through the potential tradeoffs we are about to make, and what we need to do to learn from others' succcesses and mistakes.
This is no different from discussing,say,Gandhi ('....great man... walked half naked... kids turned out badly raised... the British took him seriously...father of a nation... influenced the world like nothing else... got cheated out of a Nobel... did weird things like drink urine and sleep half naked with women he had no intention of doing anything more with...'). There are lessons to be learned in both facts and myths - because oftentimes, myths are influenced by facts,and they highlight the big +ve and big -ves of reality, thus making it a wonderful example to learn from and better live our own lives.
So I say, go forth and gossip away
Salsamakossa
Changui
Re: A case *for* discussing "gossip" like this
Did not realise Gandhi drank urine,,, or slept half naked with women for the sake of it... Did this really happen?
quixotedlm said:
Did not realise Gandhi drank urine,,, or slept half naked with women for the sake of it... Did this really happen?
quixotedlm
Changui
Re: A case *for* discussing "gossip" like this
yes.
wfmu.org/LCD/19/urine.html
straightdope.com/columns/040813.html
not in a truly negative way - he had his rationale, and it was well respected (or at least, respectably tolerated) by his peers and many many respectable people who were both his contemporaries and/or later luminaries in India. But those are facts nevertheless
Salsamakossa said:
yes.
wfmu.org/LCD/19/urine.html
straightdope.com/columns/040813.html
not in a truly negative way - he had his rationale, and it was well respected (or at least, respectably tolerated) by his peers and many many respectable people who were both his contemporaries and/or later luminaries in India. But those are facts nevertheless
smiling28 said:good post, completely understand.
Am tempted to ask if you have had a salsa relationship as you seem to know a lot but will not derail the thread
stain - frankly, my love life is pretty dull: no good gossip there.
Why else would salsa be a problem unless there are trust issues? If you are secure with the person you are with and vice versa - then dancing shouldn't be any more or less of an issue then any other hobby.
Re: A case *for* discussing "gossip" like this
I agree - we are talking about life experiences and we are in the salsa scene - besides, we are not naming names. We are just talking about circumstances that are observed. Can it really be gossip if there isn't anyone specific being talked about?
quixotedlm said:
I agree - we are talking about life experiences and we are in the salsa scene - besides, we are not naming names. We are just talking about circumstances that are observed. Can it really be gossip if there isn't anyone specific being talked about?
cutesalsadoll said:smiling28 said:good post, completely understand.
Am tempted to ask if you have had a salsa relationship as you seem to know a lot but will not derail the thread
stain - frankly, my love life is pretty dull: no good gossip there.
Why else would salsa be a problem unless there are trust issues? If you are secure with the person you are with and vice versa - then dancing shouldn't be any more or less of an issue then any other hobby.
I think I understand what you are saying and agree with you that trust can be one issue but I believe there are more.
I feel at least for me that salsa is quite topical as I LOVE salsa. It would be hard for me to hypothesise what I would choose over salsa he he. Many of us are intensely passionate about our dance (obsessed cough cough he he).
Now I note this phenonemon more with salsa than any other hobby (but please correct me if I am wrong) thus the mere fact that a person spends so much time or 'prime time friday/sat/weeknights' with salsa instead of their partner may be an issue more so than trust. Also, the fact that a person would choose salsa over their relationship may also be an issue that the couple must manage.
Every path has its potholes and smooth spots though that must be managed. Salsa just has a particular set in relationships as opposed to dating a fisherman (away for months, dangerous, smelly he he).