The Herding Mentality

[danceguy]

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[borikenSalsero]

Sadly, I know a bunch of guys like that, they get good, or at least what they think is good, then head out hunting for the girls that are just learning, or know less than they do.

They try to act friendly and intrested, but intrest they are, just not in dancing, they try to teach them a bunch of things, free lessons, then when the get what they were intrested in, they fly home and never care for the girl again... I see it comming a mile away, sadly, they don't, and only figure it out when they guy isn't willing to teach them anymore, nor dance with them at the clubs... Sad, sad, but true....

and to think that osho actually thinks we are materialistic because of undirected/unchanneled sexual energy... Pleazzzze... of all the things he said, I couldn't disagree more with that one! That me me egotistic view of getting what we want from sex is exactly the same thing that rules in the material world! The EGO!

[danceguy]

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[squirrel]

I know such guys too... and I try and avoid them... I have been prey for them too in my early Salsa days, but haven't fallen for any! And I was so lucky!

[peachexploration]

Sadly, I know a bunch of guys like that, they get good, or at least what they think is good, then head out hunting for the girls that are just learning, or know less than they do.....

You know Boriken, this what I hear from alot guys (girls too) in this area. This is the PRIMARY reason they learn or want to learn Salsa. :? It's also one of the top 5 reasons I haven't progressed further than I already have. It's not about a love of Salsa. It's about getting that date, being top dog or getting to the position of feeling like: A person on HIGHER level. Good grief, what IS that! :roll:

The bad side to this SG is that it can backfire. Unfortunately, I don't dance as much as I should because of this very reason. I get tired of filtering through foolishness and unfortunately miss out on opportunites to dance with people who are just like you, Boriken and others: Just want to dance and share the joy of Salsa. No, you're not ranting at all, SG. I definitely understand. :?

[danceguy]

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[peachexploration]

...I will be honest though - I am a single guy, and I've had quite a few crushes on dancers and if some wild woman Salsera tried to seduce me I might not say no. But - its all in your intent...sure I'd love to meet and date someone who shared an interest in Salsa...but I'm there to dance first and foremost......

I'm with you, SG. Nothing wrong with dating someone with the same interests and all the more sweeter with someone who loves Salsa as much as you do. But you're right, it's all in the intent and the intent is to dance, not be smothered by someone's EGO, pecking order, etc. ..... :? Yup, the herding mentality sucks. :evil: :lol:

:)

[tj]

I'll also add that, in my experience, the larger the scene, the more typical that this silly competitive aspect comes out. I have found that smaller clubs/events/studios/nights tend to not be as bad.

I tend to think of it this way - I'm screening for the ones with a bad attitude, and as soon as I get a whiff of it, that person won't be on my list of favs.

You may end up screening out a lot of folk, but your good experiences will grow by leaps and bounds.

[salsachinita]

I guess my little corner of the world is not that bad.......still counting my blessings 8) .

I think the way to cope with this is as TJ said, recognise the tell-tale signs, yet hold your grounds by living an example. If you are secure, and projecting your presence as such, other like-minded people will be drawn to you.

The newbies will eventually come to their senses. I've been an accessory to a top-dog in my early days too, but I'm also here as evidence that true love for salsa prevails :wink: .

[youngsta]

My $.02...concentrate on YOUR attitude/confidence. You can't do anything about their intentions, but if you radiate a confidence that rivals theirs the women will notice and will come to you. If you say things like "missed my chance" and "had hoped to dance with her"...you've already lost.

[danceguy]

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[Sabor]

My $.02...concentrate on YOUR attitude/confidence. You can't do anything about their intentions, but if you radiate a confidence that rivals theirs the women will notice and will come to you. If you say things like "missed my chance" and "had hoped to dance with her"...you've already lost.

bro.. what can i say.. juuust perfect

[peachexploration]

Although the original post has been deleted, I think you can get the gist of what this is about from Boriken's post. What do you think about the Herding Mentality?

[DeeplyDippy]

I read the Zone thread yesterday - these guys, if they exist, are not zone 4 type of guys :D

I don't know - I can't recall a group of guys banding together to do this. Single guys, yes. And I'll quickly rule myself out of this type of behaviour.