Would you share a dance?

Would you share a dance?

  • Total voters
    23
opm1s6

opm1s6

Son
So I'm seeing a lot of videos of people sharing dances, either follows or actually mostly leads jumping in for periods of songs.

Personally, unless the song is absurdly long, like at a live show, I really want my face time as is, and be able to play with the musicality for a longer period of time as opposed to just running a few patterns and then moving on. It might be a bit of fun, but I kind of find it annoying, not only because I don't get to see enough of the leads I want to see, but also because it breaks the flow too often...it's just me, but I'm not all about it...

how do you guys feel about this?
 
opm1s6 said:
So I'm seeing a lot of videos of people sharing dances, either follows or actually mostly leads jumping in for periods of songs.

Personally, unless the song is absurdly long, like at a performance, I really want my face time as is, and be able to play with the musicality for a longer period of time as opposed to just running a few patterns and then moving on. It might be a bit of fun, but I kind of find it annoying, not only because I don't get to see enough of the leads I want to see, but also because it breaks the flow too often...it's just me, but I'm not all about it...

how do you guys feel about this?
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I have a low boredom threshold, so going through 2, 3, 4, 5 (did that last week) partners in a 15 minute song works great for me. I like the challenge of having to immediately adjust to a new leader, and also the variety of moves. Oh, and I don't do face time any way :)
 
I don't mind it. As the follow it's a challenge to adapt to the feel of the lead so quickly and as the lead it is a matter of watching for the right break to take over (if you want to make it a good transition). So I think it improves my skills but I see your point about musicality.

However, let me note that if it's one follow and several leads over a 10 minute dance the follow may get pissy. Each lead tends to want to outdo the other during that format so by the end the follow may be getting dragged/flung around a bit, not to mention that each lead is fresh while the follow gets no break and is most likely getting more tired as it goes on.
 
I don't have a problem sharing a dance every now and then. The only problem I run into is jumping back in. Habitually, I start a dance at 0 and accelerate to 60. When sharing, though, I have to start at 60 when I jump back in, but I don't always remember to do so, resulting in repeat simple moves a couple times. If you want face time, you can always ask for a full dance with the lady later on. Outside of a couple birthday dances, I've never done the sharing thing with a lady that I didn't get to dance a full song with later on.
 
right, birthday dances don't count in this poll...:P

Gforce, i'm the same way. It's like buying a single, without listening to any of the other tracks on the album.
 
HATE THIS (if I want to dance with the girl and not just dance (i.e I care who I am dancing with)). If its just fun then hey, no problem. Especially if I have danced with the girl a lot. But as for dancing with a relative stranger. Not the worst thing in the world but to me its like getting Michael Jordan to play ping pong. Definitely not the best environment for me to show/give my best experience to the girl.

For me the dance is special and songs are usually created with a story or flow. Now to date I have loved to be able to share the whole thing with the girl and build (which you do not have as much time to do in the sporadic 'guy jumps in' dance'.

However, thanks to your great replies now, I will try and see this dance as more of a create your own story dance. Eg. you know how each of us give a line and then eventually a story is made.

Eg. I start

The yellow elephant...

Then sweavo says...

that loved the blue elephant (that old romantic sweavo ;) )


and a story is created.

So now if I ever 'share a dance' I will really try and continue on from the previous partner's 'story' whereas before I would just treat it as a smaller time frame social dance.

Thanks!!!
 
hmmm is that like hijacking or just switching partners.

I really dont like people hijack the girl i dance with and give me a way to another.
even if its an 15 min song. i would rather say this song is way to long now i think we should stop it for now. than just give my partner away. if she gets asked after i dont care but not during a song i consider that very rude.

if other men ask me to switch during a song i would just pretend
"huh what do you mean " ;) even if they are good friends.
so no i wont share my girl with you :)


"share" partner rueda, classes bday party,showoffs whatever is just fine tough.

hmm mayby not what the original poster meant but ok just wanted to say it.
 
I would love to do more of this, but I'm not at all comfortable with how the etiquette lies.

For instance, I know another leader who said he was up for this kind of thing. At a party at his place I stole his partner then he didn't take her back until the song was nearly over and my GF gave me an earful later for spoiling his dance! Go figure.

However, when I've agreed with the other guy before that specific dance, it has usually resulted in very big beams from the lady. I think it can be a real "princess" scenario for her, where she actually has multiple suitors dedicated to her service. Who wouldn't want that as a 6-minute fantasy?

You can also "make stories" between the two leaders, of rivalry or of cooperation, of conflict and resolution... whether the partner is taken or given, and how she is taken or given.
 
I really enjoy this, but only if I either

a) know my follower and the person who has taken my partner away well

and / or

b) it's been agreed in advance.

Taking someone partner expecting to go into this kind of dance without either of the above is just bloody rude.
 
sweavo said:
I would love to do more of this, but I'm not at all comfortable with how the etiquette lies.

For instance, I know another leader who said he was up for this kind of thing. At a party at his place I stole his partner then he didn't take her back until the song was nearly over and my GF gave me an earful later for spoiling his dance! Go figure.

However, when I've agreed with the other guy before that specific dance, it has usually resulted in very big beams from the lady. I think it can be a real "princess" scenario for her, where she actually has multiple suitors dedicated to her service. Who wouldn't want that as a 6-minute fantasy?

You can also "make stories" between the two leaders, of rivalry or of cooperation, of conflict and resolution... whether the partner is taken or given, and how she is taken or given.
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exactly...that holding her up on high mentality is not for me. I feel like women who get into this do it for the ego boost of having so many guys dancing with them and also for the status that they are then given by everyone who is watching. I don't like the ego boost and I don't want to be thought of as part of her trophy case. If she wants a dance, I'll hold her up on the highest of pedastals, but alone. I don't cater to onlookers, but instead I'm trying to maximize my connection between me, my partner and the music.

Could my opinion change, maybe, but for now I'd rather not.
 
opm1s6 said:
exactly...that holding her up on high mentality is not for me. I feel like women who get into this do it for the ego boost of having so many guys dancing with them and also for the status that they are then given by everyone who is watching. I don't like the ego boost and I don't want to be thought of as part of her trophy case. If she wants a dance, I'll hold her up on the highest of pedastals, but alone. I don't cater to onlookers, but instead I'm trying to maximize my connection between me, my partner and the music.

Could my opinion change, maybe, but for now I'd rather not.
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I think you've got the wrong end of the stick of Sweavo's reply. Stealing partners is just a bit of fun, get over it. If you don't like it, don't do it, but it doesnt do to cast aspersions on the character of girls who happen to enjoy it - you have absolutely no idea of why girls enjoy it.
 
a bit of fun for who...not for me. I never said i believed that my opinion of why girls do it is in fact the truth, but it is my perception and it is the reason I'm bothered by it. In particular I'm most bothered but how it dilutes my personal salsa experience. Personal opinion, is in fact personal. Clearly I'm in the minority and that's fine.

As for the reasons girls enjoy it - I'd be shocked if I was vastly off the mark on it being an ego boost, but it really doesn't matter does it. In the end if I dance with a girl, I dance for an entire song. Each song has a progression to it and a climax, like a well sculpted Steinbeck novel. Whatever reason women like being shared, it has nothing to do with the way I dance and how personal each 5 minutes is to me.

As for me being shared, I might be flattered that so many want to dance with me, but in the end I'd imagine it would feel a little hollow, as if I'm just a pattern jockey.
 
opm1s6 said:
a bit of fun for who...not for me. I never said i believed that my opinion of why girls do it is in fact the truth, but it is my perception and it is the reason I'm bothered by it. In particular I'm most bothered but how it dilutes my personal salsa experience. Personal opinion, is in fact personal. Clearly I'm in the minority and that's fine.

As for the reasons girls enjoy it - I'd be shocked if I was vastly off the mark on it being an ego boost, but it really doesn't matter does it. In the end if I dance with a girl, I dance for an entire song. Each song has a progression to it and a climax, like a well sculpted Steinbeck novel. Whatever reason women like being shared, it has nothing to do with the way I dance and how personal each 5 minutes is to me.

As for me being shared, I might be flattered that so many want to dance with me, but in the end I'd imagine it would feel a little hollow, as if I'm just a pattern jockey.
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So you've never danced a threesome? You've never danced Rueda? If you're really of the opinion that every time you step on the dance floor it's got to be a "well crafted Steinbeck novel" then you're losing out on a lot of fun and risking coming across as hugely pretentious: Steinbeck not being the best humoured of writers, after all.

You might be right about it being an ego boost, but your tone was that that was somehow wrong as though it was vanity and a need to be watched and admired rather than the much nicer idea of feeling wanted, appreciated and the centre of a couple of guys' attention for a few minutes.

As I said in my post, I think that it's wrong to take a partner from a leader without either knowing the leader well and knowing he'll join in, or having pre-arranged it.

If you don't like swopping partners within the dance, don't do it. I'm sure that the concept isn't for everybody. If other people do it without you being involved, it's of no concern to you and I don't understand why it bothers you so much that other people seem to enjoy it.
 
first off, relax
As I said in my post, I think that it's wrong to take a partner from a leader without either knowing the leader well and knowing he'll join in, or having pre-arranged it.
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this has nothing to do with taking a partner away without concent. Every time I've seen sharing, it has been the guy who is currently dancing, who releases and "passes" her off to the next guy, or a string of girls who revolve into the guy's path. Each time it's absolutely structured. an example: hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n78JnSzxOLA

This also doesn't include rueda, but rather in a more typical slot style, where partners are passed on

As for it being vanity, if anything my tone stated, clearly that I disliked the vanity and ego that I perceived. I didn't make a judgement of whether it was actually innately inappropriate. If anything, it's common and I like watching it once in a while to see some different patterns. My real issue is my personal involvement and my stance on the topic at hand. As I've stated in almost every post from the beginning this is a personal opinion.

KP-salsa said:
If you don't like swopping partners within the dance, don't do it. I'm sure that the concept isn't for everybody. If other people do it without you being involved, it's of no concern to you and I don't understand why it bothers you so much that other people seem to enjoy it.
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You're right, why bring up topics on a discussion forum. Afterall, it's not like this thread was created to gauge the wide variety of opinions on the subject....

I'm the minority and I've listed my opinion as one of the few dissenting votes in the pole. I think I've said enough...
 
Eeek! Come on guys, love not war :)

KP: I think opm1s6 is just showing his sensitive side. If you look past semantics, he basically says that he prefers to devote his attention to one follower at a time and wants the same from her, and wants time to develop the dance musically with her.

Opm1s6: How often do you see a particular follower do this partner changing dance in a night? In my experience, it may happen once, maybe twice. The rest of the time followers do stick with one guy for the entire song. So the sharing is more an exception than the rule. And of course it's good for the ego - as I mentioned in another thread, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. There is nothing wrong with having one's ego stroked once in a while, as long as one doesn't translate it to status and privilege.
 
I enjoy doing it with my buddies especially when there is a shortage of followers. But, this is not something that I would do with strangers. Typically, we do it as a game where the object is to take the follower away from the other guy. It adds more fun to the game if you're leading the girl at the time becuase you end up purposely doing moves that keep you between the follower and the other guy.

For example, the my buddy may be waiting to my left expecting a CBL. He waits in that position ready to take the follower away. I see it and turn the move into a 360 to block his take away.

It's a lot of fun as long as everyone involved knows that they're playing a game. Stealing a follower from a random stranger is not cool.
 
opm1s6 said:
exactly...that holding her up on high mentality is not for me. I feel like women who get into this do it for the ego boost of having so many guys dancing with them and also for the status that they are then given by everyone who is watching. I don't like the ego boost and I don't want to be thought of as part of her trophy case. If she wants a dance, I'll hold her up on the highest of pedastals, but alone. I don't cater to onlookers, but instead I'm trying to maximize my connection between me, my partner and the music.

Could my opinion change, maybe, but for now I'd rather not.
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Mostly when I see it done, it is usually where the leaders and followers all know each other.

I can't remember seeing a follower being 'hijacked' by another leader mid-dance. Usually when I seen it happen, it is usually when there is sort of tacit unspoken/spoken agreement between the leaders to switch. Most of the time I seen it done, it has been spontaneous and I don't think lady in that case knew it was going to happen. Nor have I seen a follower initiate it. So not sure what you mean by women getting into it.

Regarding those who want an ego boast or trophy cases, whether guy or girl, I am with you.
 
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