Salsa Crushes

[RugKutta]

Salseros y Salseras

Have you ever danced w/ someone that left you thinking about them afterwards, only to never see them again?

I was at the Sanctuary for the first time (I left this out of my "most memorable salsa moment" post) and my boy Ron stopped me and said "hey, that pretty sista over there in the black top wants to dance w/ you!" At first I thought he was just joking w/ me becaused it seemed like he was pointing me in the direction of another friend who came w/ us, and she just happend to be wearing black. I thought, "he's trying to get me to dance w/ her since she hasn't danced for a few songs." But then he pointed me to someone way across the room....there was this tall, purdyful (pretty + beautiful + southern accent = purdyful......sometimes using one word just doesn't say enough) light skinned girl standing across the room by herself :D At first I thought "Ron, stop playin'. She ain't really tell you to ask me to dance w/ her." But after seeing that no one was approaching her, I quickly made my way over there and asked her to dance. We danced for 1 1/2 salsa songs and a merengue.....She seemed to be just past the beginner level going into intermediate, and she didn't quite get the more complicated moves I did, but I still enjoyed dancing w/ her anyway. On a non salsa note, I was surprised by her personality. As a guy, you expect someone that fine to be a lil' bit stuck up or arrogant, but she was so sweet and humble w/ it...you don't often find that in the same woman. Anyway, after the last song we danced she asked me my name again and said she was going to get something to drink. I told her to save me another dance later on. I figured, I'll let her chill for a second and get her number later after we dance again. Unfortunately, my ride was ready to go 2 songs later, and I wansn't able to find her before I left. I was like, "dang.....why'd I let her get away?!?!" Alexia, if you ever read this, I got another dance waitin' for ya.

Luv, Peace, and SALSA

Myron aka Rugkutta

[squirrel]

Hmmm... I am not sure it ever happened to me...

[borikenSalsero]

Awww, RugKutta, I do hope she finds her way to your arms once again!

It has indeed happened to me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think there can ever be enough exclamation points to say how much I understand you my man!

[danceguy]

*-*

[youngsta]

Yeah, I've had 3 or 4 of those! :lol:

[MacMoto]

Have you ever danced w/ someone that left you thinking about them afterwards, only to never see them again?

Yes.
One guy I danced with at SalsaMed festival parties in Spain -- whom I've been calling "my dream partner" ever since :lol:. I don't even know where he's from and am likely never to dance with him again, but he was sooooooooo smooth...

Also a guy I danced with in London at the Latin Splash after party. I hope he enjoyed dancing with me as much as I did.

And a guy I danced with in Edinburgh a couple of months ago. I haven't seen him again though I thought he was a local salsero. I've been looking for him ever since.

(Now I would like to stress that these crushes are strictly for dancing; I wouldn't consider any of these guys in any romantic light, but I would happily dance with them all night... if the original question is more about romantic crushes, I'm afraid I haven't met my dream man on the dancefloor yet :wink:.)

[Danoo]

yeah
i have had a crush on my teacher since i started dancing about 18 weeks ago now

i see her every week and we talk
im only 14 though lol

when i dance with her
thats about 4-8 times a night
i just enjoy them dances VERY much

[Sabor]

man .. if its up to me i'd crush on every salsera i dance with..

ooh .. makes the dance that much more shivery 8)

[peachexploration]

I feel left out. :? I haven't had a crush yet. :cry: Oh wait, maybe that's a good thing. Nah, I still feel left out. :P

[aragonh]

Yes, that happens to me also. Many times . . . :P

I wouldnt call it a crush. More of a strong mutual attraction.

When I go to congresses, I walk around and look for those ladies. You can always find those in any big salsa event!!

[Miami Rueda dancer]

oh man... yeah... at salsa lessons this one girl that I had been liking for 2 years.. came for her first time! I saw her registering at the front desk and I stopped by to say hi and we danced... I was so happy... I wanted to be in a relationship with her so badly... but she's 17 and im 15 my next class with her is tomorrow (I HOPE) she's been hurting really bad lately and I feel really bad for her, I first saw this at school she was crying for the whole day.. I wanted to tell her something... but I just couldn't.. ever since my first dance EVER with her, I haven't stopped thinking about her for 3 days.. Im really usually crazy/hyper/funny/stupid etc with everyone but with her I turn red like a tomato and run out of things to say. We don't know eachother too well but still I want to be her friend and be there for her when she needs me... She's a senior and im a sophomore. do you all think I should ask her to dance if she feels all right?

[Miami Rueda dancer]

Well... :lol: I"m talking to her again :D I've made up my mind.... Monday im asking her to dance with me :mrgreen:

[SDsalsaguy]

You go MRd! :D

[El guru]

I don't know if call it Crush... but not mutual attraction... much more dance attraction and intensity,,,

It happened to me a lot of time...
It's in my way of dancing lightly flirt with the partner... looking for her.

Travelling a lot to dance in new places, it happen sometimes to meet fantastic partners... and then loose every contact.

It's a nice sensation

[Miami Rueda dancer]

its really kinda scary.. at least for me... once I start dancing and I really enjoy my self... then there's no stopping me...im gonna be dancing all night with or without a partner lol :lol: and thats why I feel for this girl.. she's the 1st girl Ive asked out to dance :shock:

[wuthering]

It happened to me a few times. Once I've had a "dance crush" on a guy, we danced all night together. Next time we met was one year later, we still remembered almost everything we said before :) An other time I danced a few times with un unknown guy, at the end he asked me whether I was a dance teacher (it was kind of cute :lol: :lol: ), we said we would meet next Sunday. Never saw him again.

[esa negrita...]

Yep...just got my first one...tall dark and handsome with beautiful brown eyes...and a blast to dance/learn with. Fortunately I get to see him every week:)

[memphis salsero]

Yes it has happened to me several times. It happened a couple weeks ago when I was in this rather clickish club in L.A. It was so hard to get a girl to dance b/c everyome knew each other and all the girls would be picked off before they even made it off the floor. Then this one beautiful girl sees me sitting there and comes and ask me to dance, and she was an awesome dancer. I've been waiting to see her again but have'nt yet :(

[Karlosism]

Lol..happens to me a lot... Uhm usually with beginers... But just recently I had a blast with this one girl and towards the end she asked "when I would be in town again." I didn't make much out of it at the moment and later did I realize that maybe she was hinting for me to ask her to meet up again which I didn'tpick up on..ahhhh.... Do you think? anyways, hopefully i'llsee her again...
I had a question: What should a guy do if you danced with a girl a couple songs and had a blast w/ chemistry and all....either: 1. a Thank you and goodbye 2. Invite her for a drink 3. Look for her later to ask her for her area code, etc...

[lolita]

karlosism.. Never THANK YOU AND GOOD BYE, except ur someone who luvs to live the feeling of thinking of someone all night lon..it hurts

just ask ..when will i see u again..if theres mutual chmestry.. he/she will prppably suggest another time..maybe next week..
or u might say.. now we've got to dance some time later..wuts ur foe number ** well a lil bit dunno u can call it rude,** :? but never ever let them walk away :(

[praecantricis]

You know what - the more I dance the more I realise that my 'crush' is on Salsa itself, not on the guys that lead me. It's the fusion of the music the moves and the connection all in a package that I crave/enjoy - I don't think i've had a salsa crush on an individual guy - just on the dance itself and the way it makes me feel.

[lucretia]

You know what - the more I dance the more I realise that my 'crush' is on Salsa itself, not on the guys that lead me. It's the fusion of the music the moves and the connection all in a package that I crave/enjoy - I don't think i've had a salsa crush on an individual guy - just on the dance itself and the way it makes me feel.
I agree, I have so far been able to know the difference between a dancecrush and love for salsa.
Thats good since my husband also dance salsa ;)
And last months he has become so good that I now have dancecrush on him :lol:

/luc

[salsachinita]

You know what - the more I dance the more I realise that my 'crush' is on Salsa itself, not on the guys that lead me..

Absolutely. If I only knew this 15 years ago :roll: .......

I was a wide-eye teenager when I started salsa. The 'crush' I felt was soooo strong I didn't know what hit me; especially when I dance with this well-known salsero (who became my salsa mentor/ex), who always had a line of girls waiting to dance with him.

He also had a crush on me (not my dancing), while I had a crush on dancing with him (not him).......

This turned into a saga which stretched over a decade.

I wished I had the wisdom to tell these feelings apart. Oh, well. you live and learn *shrug*.

[memphis salsero]

So I'm an idiot. There is this girl here that I got a huge crush on the first time I saw her dance. She had so much personality in her dancing, she is incredible, always smiling, and would be really attractive even if she didn't dance. Seriously, she may have the sweetest demeaner I've ever seen. By coincidence I happened to become friends with her dance partner and we go to the same clubs. Two weeks ago we were at Steven's and she waved at me across the room. I wasn't sure she was waving at me since I had never really spoken to her before. I looked around to make sure she was waving at me and instead of walking over and asking her to dance I just waved back with a dumb slightly embarrassed smile. :roll: I was hoping that would be no big deal. Like maybe she realizes that she is extremely intimidating and gorgeous.

Well last night I saw her again at Stevens, and my crush definately comes back w/ a vengeance. This time she comes up and ask me how I've been. Of course nothing great comes to mind so I reply with an all too interesting "I'm pretty good". You know that was not so bad though, atleast I said something. The next logical thing would have been to ask her how she had been doing, or if she wanted to dance, anything would have been ok. No I just ended with "I'm pretty good". :doh: SO now I'm sure she thinks I either have no social skills, or that I am just a jerk who does no want to have anything to do with her. :headwall:

I'm not really sure what my problem is because I've never really had this sort of problem before. I'm hoping both of those incidents were just flukes! I do think it would be interesting to hear any advice on how I could recover from you guys.

[DeeplyDippy]

Next time you're dancing with her you could tell her you're a little shy - it doesn't sound far from the truth to me :)

[lucretia]

memphis salsero
To me it seems like she is begging for a dance (I don't think you have yet...or did I read your post wrong?)

Ask her for a dance next time you see her. Walk up to her and invite her for a dance. Don't wait for her getting in touch with you. You have to be active yourself or she will get the impression you don't want o dance with her.

(This is the way I would have reacted in the same situation...If I chat with a guy and he never ask me for a dance - I get the feeling he either don't like me or my salsa)

Go for her!

/Luc

[LilWhiteBlondGrl]

Definitely go ask her to dance. I know you aren't shy, and that you have social skills!! Ha ha. She'll be thrilled.

[lolita]

ughhhhhhhhhhh, if that happened to me..next time i see the guy, i'll punsh him in the face :evil:

comon MS.. next time . u go directly with a smile on ur face and ask her nicely if she would like to dance with you...she'll smile back and say ( yes of cource(L) )

[memphis salsero]

ok

[memphis salsero]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Ok so my salsa crush actually teaches ladies styling here in LA. About a month ago I walked into a men's styling class and she was teaching in the next room, and at the end of clasl the men go into the ladies room and we show off the stuff we just learned. So last night I went to get the men's teacher number so I can take some privates and she was sitting there and as I was a bout to walk off she told me that my style was really starting to become my own and that I caught her eye as she was watching everyone dance. I can not even tell you how happy I still am about that, seriously I am somewhere on cloud nine! To top it off when I went out that night I got asked to dance by all these great dancers that I am completely intimidated by and a couple of them even said "hey your a good dancer". It may have been the best night I've ever had dancing!

[DeeplyDippy]

So ....


... when are you going to ask her for a dance :D

[memphis salsero]

Well she is always at the Granada on saturday nights, so Saturday it is. Dont worry, you'll know when I do!

[pr]

I'm happy for you Memphis salsero! :D

[RugKutta]

Wow...I started this thread over a year and a half ago, and it's still going!!! I'm glad somebody brought it back from the dead!

I've had a salsa crush since then, about the same time a year later. I was at Latin Sol in Atlanta and was leaving the dance floor at the end of a song, looking for someone to dance with. I noticed that everyone who I was thinking of asking was taken already, so I began to scan the sidelines. I happened to catch eyes w/ one lady for a little bit longer than I intended to, creating on of those weird moments where you're almost obligated to ask that person to dance. I proceed to do so, thinking to myself, "she IS kinda cute, so even if she has two left feet, it won't be so bad." To my surprise, she was a VERY good dancer. I started out w/ basic stuff thinking she was a beginner, but she followed everything I did perfectly, so I broke out w/ all my power moves. This girl really impressed me. What brightened up my night even more was our next dance. I was looking for her later on in the night and saw her dancing, so I decided to sit out the song in order to catch her for the next dance. As she was walking off the floor, another guy who was also on the floor got to her before I did and asked her to dance. To my surprise again, she turned him down while pointing in my direction. Of course I coulnd't hear what she said, but I could tell that she saw me waiting on her and took that as a non-verbal invitation to dance. I fought so hard to keep from showing the big Kool-Aid smile that I had on the inside!

The next time I saw her there we danced again, but it was harder to get to her because being such a good dancer, there was always a line to dance w/ her. But what I liked about her was that she always remembered when I asked her and didn't let another guy skip me. Unfortunately I haven't seen her since. :(

[lucretia]

RugKutta, what a nice experience.

It remembers me of a few salsa-oriented-crushes I had myself. Since I'm not looking for a SO the focus has been on salsa - for me anyhow ;) . (cant tell anything about the guys). But I have felt that kind of contact - on the dancefloor and beside it. I hide those moments deep into your heart and bring them out whenever I need to feel good. A true heart(h) warmer :D

/luc

[memphis salsero]

well i'vebeen out of the forum for awhile so it was a couple weeks ago that I finally asked my crush to dance. Well my crush is gone, but she is now my new favorite person to dance with! She is such a phenominal dancer, she gets lost in a song and just become the music and she brings you in with her. She has even asked me to dance a couple times now, which makes me feel like the biggest stud on the planet.

[LilWhiteBlondGrl]

Salsa crush problem.

Last night, my performance team salsa partner asked me out on a date, and I think he's great, but I can't risk getting in a relationship now. And I don't want to date someone in my salsa scene. And I'm hopefully going to grad school in LA before the year is over! He said he's liked me for 6 months, so this isn't going to be a little one-date-oh-let's do- it -again-sometime thing. I feel like I'm playing with fire if I go out with him. AHHHHHHHHH.

Oh, and so I told him I just couldn't, tried to explain, and he was so confused, and I feel like the meanest person ever.

[lolita]

thats sad lwbg, but if he really likes you, he'll understand ur reasons not to get into a relationship.

[memphis salsero]

That is such a hard situation. All you can do is be honest with him. Try to help him out too if possible. Like be especially careful of the signals you send b/c you are such a sweet person and you smile at people alot and that can be confusing for a guy who likes you.

[giglet]

Speaking of Salsa Crushes, i'm having to be really careful lately because i believe i might have a salsa crush myself.
Luckily it's not majorly strong or anything, and the guy isn't normally my type looks wise or anything. So i'm very confused as to why i have this slight salsa crush. I do fine too, but everytime i go to dance with him i end up dancing badly and feeling really embarassed.
He's polite, sweet, kind, and never makes a move. I think he tried flirting once but because i didn't know him well i didn't reciprocate. I know he has a girlfriend too who is out of the country for another two months.
So i don't want to be responsible for any conflicts. Am treating him as a friend because i know if i did try a relationship i don't think it would work. He's very much a loner and that might drive crazy.

Maybe it's just he has this sweet smile. I havn't got a clue.
I'm hoping it will go away soon and i'll end up like 'why did i have a crush on him for?'. lol.

Wish me luck!!!

~Giglet~

[pr]

Wish me luck!!!
Good luck! :D :P

[memphis salsero]

GOOD LUCK :!:

[Karlosism]

i have the worst luck.. The girl who I had a crush on in my salsa class is now dating our salsa instructor...it's kinda hard to compete against a pro salsero! :-( </3 not only do they have ultra-confidence but they have their moves, admiraion, etc...

[DeeplyDippy]

i have the worst luck.. The girl who I had a crush on in my salsa class is now dating our salsa instructor...it's kinda hard to compete against a pro salsero! :-( </3 not only do they have ultra-confidence but they have their moves, admiraion, etc...
What's worse, is that when she realises that he only wanted another notch on his bedpost, she'll be so angry she won't dance at your club again.

[JazzHands]

i have the worst luck.. The girl who I had a crush on in my salsa class is now dating our salsa instructor...it's kinda hard to compete against a pro salsero! :-( </3 not only do they have ultra-confidence but they have their moves, admiraion, etc...
What's worse, is that when she realises that he only wanted another notch on his bedpost, she'll be so angry she won't dance at your club again.

What he said :(

[DeeplyDippy]

i have the worst luck.. The girl who I had a crush on in my salsa class is now dating our salsa instructor...it's kinda hard to compete against a pro salsero! :-( </3 not only do they have ultra-confidence but they have their moves, admiraion, etc...
What's worse, is that when she realises that he only wanted another notch on his bedpost, she'll be so angry she won't dance at your club again.

What he said :(
We should join the Grumpy Old Gits :D

[JazzHands]

Our membership cards are apparently in the post.

[lolita]

O_o so sorry karl:(

[Karlosism]

New little crush to report on: I danced with liz lira tonight to a beautiful hector lavoe song.nice and slow...she's so graceful and elegant! I almost forgot that I was dancing with her...She has a cute laugh too... she kept giggling every time I made her do a right turn.... :P

[DeeplyDippy]

Result ! :D


Errr - is Liz famous ?

[Jones, Nikka]

...Errr - is Liz famous ?

Well, kind of...
If you consider winning the San Juan Open Salsa Competition enough. It is kind of a world championship thing...
Other than that she just happens to perform at every major congress in planet salsa. :D

[DeeplyDippy]

Just not on Planet UK - never heard of her.

[pr]

never heard of her.
:shock:
She also won the 2002 Mayan Salsa Competition with Alex da Silva. :) :arrow: [http://www.clubmayan.com/salsa2002/professional.swf]
More info about her here :arrow: [http://411.salsafrenzy.com/LizLira] and here :arrow: [http://lizlira.com] :)

[Karlosism]

regardless if she's famous or not..it was a nice dance...she also came out in mark anthony's music video "valio la pena" and is going to come out in Daddy Yankee's next video..

[memphis salsero]

Liz Lira has the best T-stance shines I've ever seen hands down! She also got 2nd in this past years mayan, a pretty incredible performance, thats an easy crush!

[Karlosism]

yes.. I experienced her T-stance! :-) :oops: I almost fainted.

[lolita]

Liz Lira has the best T-stance shines I've ever seen hands down! She also got 2nd in this past years mayan, a pretty incredible performance, thats an easy crush!

as i have developed a special love for the T-stance ...do u have any videos?:D

[salseralon]

regardless if she's famous or not..it was a nice dance...she also came out in mark anthony's music video "valio la pena" and is going to come out in Daddy Yankee's next video..

Which video is she gonna be in Karlosism? My salsa crush is also my bf so i cant make a worthy contribution to this thread...

[Loony]

I decided to bring this thread back from the dead... because I have a tiny crush on my dance partner. And it's not only a salsa crush. He's so not the guy I would typically date, and I know he doesn't like me that way, but arrrrgh I can't shake the crush away. :(

[tj]

I decided to bring this thread back from the dead... because I have a tiny crush on my dance partner. And it's not only a salsa crush. He's so not the guy I would typically date, and I know he doesn't like me that way, but arrrrgh I can't shake the crush away. :(

Ooo! Better not tell him about this forum!



...or better yet, maybe you should! :twisted: 8) ;)

[Loony]

I decided to bring this thread back from the dead... because I have a tiny crush on my dance partner. And it's not only a salsa crush. He's so not the guy I would typically date, and I know he doesn't like me that way, but arrrrgh I can't shake the crush away. :(

Ooo! Better not tell him about this forum!



...or better yet, maybe you should! :twisted: 8) ;)
Ooh you're so evil!!! lol

But no, he's not very computer-oriented, unless he's getting songs into his iPod or chatting on a messenger... I don't think he even knows what a forum is, and let's keep it that way. ;)

[AndrewD]

I’ve got a bit of a crush on my salsa instructor – nothing serious; I really admire the way she teaches (an endearing combination of charm and discipline). Thankfully my skin colour means I don’t visibly blush, because I get a bit flustered when she praises/critiques.

Would it be wrong of me to do things badly in class to get more of her attention?
;)

[TheBear_CanDanceToo]

Would it be wrong of me to do things badly in class to get more of her attention?
;)
Years (and years) ago in my teens, I used to coach judo. One night I met a girl out of class and she fessed up that she and her mate had been getting stuff wrong for months to get my attention - I was oblivious!
I don't think this happens in my salsa classes - or maybe I'm just being dim again? (Trisha fancied me for months before I realised - when she asked me out!)

AndrewD - remember that teachers like to see people doing it right, too! Maybe this would be a better way to attract her attention? ;)

[peachexploration]

I feel left out. :? I haven't had a crush yet. :cry: Oh wait, maybe that's a good thing. Nah, I still feel left out. :P

Ugh! Three years later almost and still no crush! :?

[Loony]

I feel left out. :? I haven't had a crush yet. :cry: Oh wait, maybe that's a good thing. Nah, I still feel left out. :P

Ugh! Three years later almost and still no crush! :?
Aww peach! Trust me, you're better off without one. :(

[lolita]

would an online crush on a salsa dancer count ?

[Loony]

would an online crush on a salsa dancer count ?
I think so!

[OneCentSalsero]

dont worry loli ... i have a crush on you too !!!! hehe

[smiling28]

my contribution.

On the way to one of my first classes, I saw this girl who had an incredible vibe/presence/charm/style.

Turned out she was an instructor for the advanced class. I got to know her better over time through Salsa. Smiles and chats. grew. Never really danced with her as I hardly knew how and I also wanted to keep my crush separate from the dancing. Had not even seen her dance.

Did not want to jeopardise my Salsa or her work by making a move in case it went sour. Then thought, we are both mature enough to handle it. Asked her out. We have been seeing each other for about 3 weeks now and it has been PURE BLISS! We get along so well off the dance floor. Same sense of humour and life appreciation. She moves to the UK in about 4 weeks (and is away for 2 of those). So we are just enjoying getting to know each other as much as possible.

A visit to Uk may be on the cards sometime though :) *would love to mee Fatboys_candance too :) :) :)

* Note: I have danced with her since. She usually saves me some dances but I try and leave her to dance with some more advanced people. She is so lovely though that she is an absolute pleasure to even just share the basic step with :) :) :)

[peachexploration]

That's wonderful, Smiling28! :D

[TheBear_CanDanceToo]

A visit to Uk may be on the cards sometime though :) *would love to mee Fatboys_candance too :) :) :)


:oops: Wait a minute - have you got a crush on me too!?!?! :oops:
You're welcome any time, smiling28, which bit of the uk is your lovely lady coming too?

back to thread - I had a crush on my first lady salsa teacher - watched her bum (butt, for all you Americans) wiggling in the warm up and that was me hooked. It was months before she knew I existed though, and it turned out she was married anyway. (I actually ended up teaching with her for a couple of years and we're still good friends now).
Then a few months later I had a crush on this other girl that I met in class - she was luuuuurvely. Now we've been together nearly four years and she's the mother of our one year old son. Which is nice. So there are sometime (very) happy endings.

[smiling28]

A visit to Uk may be on the cards sometime though :) *would love to mee Fatboys_candance too :) :) :)


:oops: Wait a minute - have you got a crush on me too!?!?! :oops:
You're welcome any time, smiling28, which bit of the uk is your lovely lady coming too?

back to thread - I had a crush on my first lady salsa teacher - watched her bum (butt, for all you Americans) wiggling in the warm up and that was me hooked. It was months before she knew I existed though, and it turned out she was married anyway. (I actually ended up teaching with her for a couple of years and we're still good friends now).
Then a few months later I had a crush on this other girl that I met in class - she was luuuuurvely. Now we've been together nearly four years and she's the mother of our one year old son. Which is nice. So there are sometime (very) happy endings.


WOW - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! I love those stories.

I promise not to watch your bum wiggle when I visit thus should be safe from your charms :) :) :)

[lolita]

dont worry loli ... i have a crush on you too !!!! hehe

LOL..Damn; i never knew it was so obvious to you ;)

[GTO Bruin]

Gee! Spring is in the air! :friend:

[chr]

My case: It's my wife now for almost 9 years. It was not salsa though....
We learned each other while practicing a waltz and charlestone show for my graduation party.

I've danced with some 100 girls in the Bay Area, Germany and Hungary, since I am into salsa (last summer) but fortunately I managed to avoid this fate, so far. ;)

[Shooshoo]

I've danced with some 100 girls in the Bay Area, Germany and Hungary, since I am into salsa (last summer) but fortunately I managed to avoid this fate, so far. ;)

;) good for you

[MacMoto]

My SO and I met through salsa, though I didn't have any crush (dance crush or romantic crush) on him at any point :lol: -- we took the same classes and I thought he was very nice but didn't really think much more than that. Aapparently HE had a major crush on me, but I didn't notice it -- probably because I was busy having a crush on someone else at that time! :roll:

All ended well though and we've been together for over 2 years now.

[esa negrita...]

I've got a nasty one this time around. I was in Columbia, SC and checked out SalsaCabana. I danced with this one tall salsero on a few salsas and a merengue and I've got it bad. Technicality is very big where I live and he just flowed so well and naturally with the music that I was just left floored...I don't get to see that too often. I also think it was one of my few encounters with genuine dance chemistry. He was mindful of my skill level (I think he's an instructor), fun and still challenging...and of course, I turn around later in the night, and he's nowhere to be found. I hope he enjoyed himself at least half as much as I did. I guess that's how it goes :(

[Flex]

I've got a nasty one this time around. ...and of course, I turn around later in the night, and he's nowhere to be found. :(

Nice to hear the Cinderella / Prince Charming legend from the other side! I think it's better that way... ;-)

At any one time, I reckon I average at least three salsa crushes although I do not let on to my favourite partner, who also happens to be my everlovin' on whom I have an eternal crush, that this is the case. And I keep them strictly to the dancefloor, dreams not counting.

At this time, counting, I have seven crushes (but then I'm out dancing an average of five nights a week at different venues). As you know, my theory is that several gives you a measure of immunity from A Big One.

[Shooshoo]

As you know, my theory is that several gives you a measure of immunity from A Big One.

Interesting theory, but why do you want immunity from a Big One?

[Flex]

Interesting theory, but why do you want immunity from a Big One?

Because I have my everlasting Big One with my everlovin' already...

[giglet]

Well i'm searching for a new salsa crush currently as mine is not dancing so much these days due to other commitments. Which is dissapointing to me as i can never ignore the sparks and chemistry we always have when dancing.

Thinking about it though, i have noticed that two previous crushes i had before are gone, and i think it's due to the fact that my dancing has improved more than theirs, or it could be the fact i didn't see them in ages, then danced with them and.... nothing. It didn't connect or flow anymore.
hmmm

Although i have recently found out i'm a crush for someone else... so i'm not sure how i feel about that one.
Flattered though.

~Giglet~

[akbernier]

I think I am having my first and hopefully last crush... Im not sure yet whether the crush is on him or the dance though...

[smiling28]

I've got a nasty one this time around. I was in Columbia, SC and checked out SalsaCabana. I danced with this one tall salsero on a few salsas and a merengue and I've got it bad. Technicality is very big where I live and he just flowed so well and naturally with the music that I was just left floored...I don't get to see that too often. I also think it was one of my few encounters with genuine dance chemistry. He was mindful of my skill level (I think he's an instructor), fun and still challenging...and of course, I turn around later in the night, and he's nowhere to be found. I hope he enjoyed himself at least half as much as I did. I guess that's how it goes :(


Awesome! Man this crush thread is reason #234534545 why I want to improve my dancing ;)

[RugKutta]

Wow...when I started this thread a few years back, I didn't expect it to survive this long!

I actually have an update on the story that I shared w/ you all on the very first post on this thread...

My Church here in Atlanta has a sister Church in Orlando, FL, w/ several other branches throughout the world. So our Orlando Church had a "Black and White" party for the singles ministry. During this party, the DJ's equpiment began to malfuntion, so he switched over to only using vinyl/records instead of CD's. I figured that if he had any salsa music, he probably didn't have it on records, so I had to consider the reality that he proably wouldn't be playing any. So I grabbed the handful of salsa fanatics that were there and lead them out to the parking lot, where I proceeded to roll down the windows of my car and put my salsa music on blast. (I figure any true salsaholic would have done the same ^_^). The parking lot of course was asphalt and had a slight incline, which, both of them together made multiple spins a bit hazardous, but we made it work ;-)

So my second dance is w/ this really tall, attractive, tan-skinned lady who looked slightly familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on why just yet. I ask her name, and she responds "Alexia" (same name as the girl I mentioned in the original post). Then the gears in my head begin to turn....same name, same color hair, same height, same personality. I investigate further...

Me: "Ever been to Atlanta?"
Her: "I used to live there."
Me: "Did you go dancing alot there?"
Her: "I've gone to The Sanctuary before"
(This is where I met said girl)
Me: "Was it about a year and a half ago?"
Her: "Something like that."

I added all this together and concluded that this was no coincidence. I was dancing w/ the same girl who I met 2 years earlier!!!

Unfortunately for me, she already had a boyfriend... :(

[sagitta]

Hey she just might take a liking to you over her bf. ;)

[Brownskin818]

I have a crush that I met this year at the LA Congress (crushing on HIM moreso than the dancing, but still a good dancer). Totally forgot his name though. Then I met another guy at the DC Congress whose dancing I LOVED. Didn't know who he was, then later saw a video with him and Magna and it gave his name. Did some youtube searching for him and came across another video of the DC guy aaaaaaaaannnnd the original LA guy!!! And of course it gave the unknown LA guys' name (he's actually from NY, I now know) and through the powers of google, I have an email address for him. I'm dying to email him and find out when/where he'll be traveling again! Gosh, this would be so much easier and non-invasive feeling if he just had myspace. :( If I email him, I have to explain how I searched him out to get the email addy. :lol:

[smiling28]

Wow...when I started this thread a few years back, I didn't expect it to survive this long!

I actually have an update on the story that I shared w/ you all on the very first post on this thread...

My Church here in Atlanta has a sister Church in Orlando, FL, w/ several other branches throughout the world. So our Orlando Church had a "Black and White" party for the singles ministry. During this party, the DJ's equpiment began to malfuntion, so he switched over to only using vinyl/records instead of CD's. I figured that if he had any salsa music, he probably didn't have it on records, so I had to consider the reality that he proably wouldn't be playing any. So I grabbed the handful of salsa fanatics that were there and lead them out to the parking lot, where I proceeded to roll down the windows of my car and put my salsa music on blast. (I figure any true salsaholic would have done the same ^_^). The parking lot of course was asphalt and had a slight incline, which, both of them together made multiple spins a bit hazardous, but we made it work ;-)

So my second dance is w/ this really tall, attractive, tan-skinned lady who looked slightly familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on why just yet. I ask her name, and she responds "Alexia" (same name as the girl I mentioned in the original post). Then the gears in my head begin to turn....same name, same color hair, same height, same personality. I investigate further...

Me: "Ever been to Atlanta?"
Her: "I used to live there."
Me: "Did you go dancing alot there?"
Her: "I've gone to The Sanctuary before"
(This is where I met said girl)
Me: "Was it about a year and a half ago?"
Her: "Something like that."

I added all this together and concluded that this was no coincidence. I was dancing w/ the same girl who I met 2 years earlier!!!

Unfortunately for me, she already had a boyfriend... :(


AWESOME STORY BRO!!!!

1. LOVE the ready to go 'instant salsa' just add rugkutta :) :) :)

2. Well you got your extra dance with the girl. Had she improved in that time? Still the same connection/feeling/chemistry when you danced or had it changed. I.e if THIS was the first time you met her, would you have still posted? (interesting as sometimes the vibe changes).

- You obviously enjoy dancing with each other so I hope you stay in contact and make the most of each dance you have. Then who knows :) :) :)


*maybe you end up with her, maybe she introduces you to her friends whom you vibe with even MORE!!!!!!


- lol, such a good story - thanks

[smiling28]

I have a crush that I met this year at the LA Congress (crushing on HIM moreso than the dancing, but still a good dancer). Totally forgot his name though. Then I met another guy at the DC Congress whose dancing I LOVED. Didn't know who he was, then saw a video with him and Magna and it gave his name. Did some youtube searching for him and come across a video of the DC guy aaaaaaaaannnnd the original LA guy!!! And of course it gave the unknown LA guys' name (he's actually from NY I now know) and through the powers of google, I have an email address for him. I'm dying to email him and find out when/where he'll be traveling again! Gosh, this would be so much easier and non-invasive feeling if he just had myspace. :( If I email him, I have explain how I searched him out to get the email addy. :lol:

Carpe diem gorgeous, Carpe diem!

Man, time does strange things. To illustrate my point I need a picture of a suave guy in jail called romeo. Arrested for stalking.

What was once considered romance and chivalry is now weird and stalking lol (depending on whether the other person wants the attention).

Hmm, probably should not use the stalking word considering I am going to encourage you to contact the dude but hey just doing it for comical value.

*disclaimer: Not saying stalking is comical. SO kids at home, please do not stalk.

Ok, back to the point. Email the dude and be friendly. What is the worst that can happen.

Just say hi, loved dancing with you or met you at so and so. Hope you do not mind but randomly found your email when watching some videos on youtube (i.e explain you found it but not the exact details) and thought I would say hi. Maybe jump the queue and ask you for another dance early :)

Or whatever your lovely charm has you write. My point is. Man, just be friendly and say hi. No problems. No need to explain how you searched for the email just mention that you found it.

Now that is cool!!!!!!!!

Carpe diem!!!!!!


* guys LIKE girls being friendly and saying hi. Most people do. As long as you are cool and respect whatever response they give. Even if they are rude. Hey, they might have had a bad day but not your problem as not in your control. What is in your control is you SAYING HI in a nice friendly way sooooooooooooooooooo hurry up girl :) :) :)

[smiling28]

somehow double posted so deleted - sorry :)

[ShineGuy]

Oh man, I encountered my crush about a year ago. It was when I first got into the intermediate level. We were about 15-20 minutes into our class and this lovely goddess walked in. During my intermediate class there was also a beginner course going on, and since it was the 3rd week and her being a new face, she was more likely to be a beginner. So as she puts her heels on, there I was shadow-dancing since there was one less lady in our class and all of a sudden there's a bounce to my basic. Haha as I go through the turn pattern there I am muttering under my breath, "please be intermediate please be intermediate please be intermediate." As the turn pattern finished with me doing a turn, by the time I turned around, there she was in front of me with a huge smile and proceeded to introduce herself to me. Unfortunately I was just dumbfounded by her hotness that I didn't really understand her name so I just smiled, and I think I said my name and just proceeded to dance. Oh my was she breathtaking. Instead of perfume her scent was that of a scented lotion of some sort, something fruity. She had long wavy hair with streaks, bright green eyes, pouty lips, and the mooooost unbelievable hips. And whenever she made a mistake I would just make this goofy face which in turn just causes her to crack up and before you knew it, we were both laughing hysterically. It was refreshing to see that despite her drop-dead looks she didn't take herself seriously. I'm a pretty reserved guy and rarely do I trip all over myself over a pretty face but this girl had me constantly checking for my breath every 5 minutes. Since it was only our first class together, I figured I had plenty of time to get to know her and so far so good right?


Well, after that night, I never saw her again.

Not in the clubs, not in the socials, not in any class, nowhere. It was as if she disappeared off the face of the earth. So sad.............. :cry:

[smiling28]

Oh man, I encountered my crush about a year ago. It was when I first got into the intermediate level. We were about 15-20 minutes into our class and this lovely goddess walked in. During my intermediate class there was also a beginner course going on, and since it was the 3rd week and her being a new face, she was more likely to be a beginner. So as she puts her heels on, there I was shadow-dancing since there was one less lady in our class and all of a sudden there's a bounce to my basic. Haha as I go through the turn pattern there I am muttering under my breath, "please be intermediate please be intermediate please be intermediate." As the turn pattern finished with me doing a turn, by the time I turned around, there she was in front of me with a huge smile and proceeded to introduce herself to me. Unfortunately I was just dumbfounded by her hotness that I didn't really understand her name so I just smiled, and I think I said my name and just proceeded to dance. Oh my was she breathtaking. Instead of perfume her scent was that of a scented lotion of some sort, something fruity. She had long wavy hair with streaks, bright green eyes, pouty lips, and the mooooost unbelievable hips. And whenever she made a mistake I would just make this goofy face which in turn just causes her to crack up and before you knew it, we were both laughing hysterically. It was refreshing to see that despite her drop-dead looks she didn't take herself seriously. I'm a pretty reserved guy and rarely do I trip all over myself over a pretty face but this girl had me constantly checking for my breath every 5 minutes. Since it was only our first class together, I figured I had plenty of time to get to know her and so far so good right?


Well, after that night, I never saw her again.

Not in the clubs, not in the socials, not in any class, nowhere. It was as if she disappeared off the face of the earth. So sad.............. :cry:

Man, awesome story! I am hooked. I need closure :)

Did the girl talk/interact with anyone else when she was there? Did anyone else know her? Eg. instructors/other people in the class?

Maybe mention oneday how this gorgeous girl was in the class and someone will chime in with 'oh Samantha, oh she stopped coming after she had no one to go out with. Her friends got boyfriends so stayed at home but Samantha just loved to dance. Here, have her number :) :) :)

LOL, if only but maybe someone knows her.

[smiling28]

guess I should list mine.

LOL, nothing so elegant as you guys. LOVE how you remember in such detail about the girls.

I have had some special girls who captivate me in their own magical way. So beautiful in being. But just as I would LOVE the white baby tiger that I see in the jungle, somethings are to be appreciated, admired for the moment they appear in your life and treasured in your heart not necessarily your home...................................If oneday they find their way into your life in other ways, then wonderful!



At least that is what I have to tell myself as I help out with classes and often meet special girls whom I flirt with and have WONDERFUL connections. BUT, I refrain from asking for their number (whereas I would in any other environment) as I do not want to create a conflict of interest with helping the class. VERY VERY tough sometimes but the above sentiment helps me (enjoy the moment and treasure it in your heart if not in your future :) )


*sidenote: hope my advertisement looks ok.........

Single white male, 27 years old. Likes long walks on the beach. Would love to meet cute baby white tiger.
Please send 'fluffy' home, I know he/she loves me as much as I love him/her :) :) :)

[RugKutta]

AWESOME STORY BRO!!!!

1. LOVE the ready to go 'instant salsa' just add rugkutta :) :) :)

2. Well you got your extra dance with the girl. Had she improved in that time? Still the same connection/feeling/chemistry when you danced or had it changed. I.e if THIS was the first time you met her, would you have still posted? (interesting as sometimes the vibe changes).

- You obviously enjoy dancing with each other so I hope you stay in contact and make the most of each dance you have. Then who knows :) :) :)


*maybe you end up with her, maybe she introduces you to her friends whom you vibe with even MORE!!!!!!


- lol, such a good story - thanks

1) Hey, you gotta be ready at a moments notice. Please believe I keep some baby powder and my dance sneakers in my trunk, along w/ mini-speakers and a mini-subwoofer. Those are actually for my class that I teach on Sundays. However, that also means that along w/ my laptop, I'm fully prepared to be the backup DJ at any social if need be ;-)

2) Unfortunately, I've become a full-fledged salsaholic (see #1 ^_^), but she only remained a casual, "Oh, I go every once in a while" type dancer, so she didn't improve much at all. On the other hand, her cuteness didn't need any improvement at all :-)

[ptwist]

i must admit...

EMILY ALABI is my dream girl...true story i was hopin i would see her in palm springs lol

[smiling28]

i must admit...

EMILY ALABI is my dream girl...true story i was hopin i would see her in palm springs lol

Come to the Singapore Salsa festival, she will be there!

I will ask her to dance for you and me :)

[Lilith]

I think I have two crushes, one that I see every week and one that I haven't seen in about 4 months.
The first is a guy that takes lessons from the same instructors as me. I see him out every week and dance with him once every social if I get the chance (he is a VERY popular lead). I suspect my crush is on him as well as his dancing, unlike the other one whose dancing is the power of attraction.

The other one was a french guy who asked me to dance after I'd been out socialdancing for about a month. I was still very unsure of myself and basicly appologized beforehand for my poor dancing. However, he was one of those leads that you can't misunderstand or, as I suspect, a very good cover up when you do. And we danced for 4 consecutive songs. I was on cloud nine. Saw him at three different venues that week and every time he asked me to dance and we had so much fun dancing, had the best connection ever and I even stopped appologizing for my dancing from then on. Haven't seen him since. :roll: :)

[lucretia]

For the first time in my life I'm really jeallous. Someone else has taken over my dance-crush :evil:
I saw she was trying to hook him a few weeks ago. But I thought he just behaved politely. When I asked him for a dance last sunday and she stood right beside - I saw him flashing to her with a smile and an twinkle in is right eye. Just like....I'm sorry I have to dance with this girl before I come back to you.

D*mn! HE IS MINE!!! 2 x 7 minutes each Sunday is all I need. :twisted:

But I guess there is nothing I can do about it. If I take up the fight he will believe I'm really interested. But all I want is to dance and have those magic moments. Feel like I'm the central of the universe. And not just anybody.

/luc

[Brownskin818]

* guys LIKE girls being friendly and saying hi. Most people do. As long as you are cool and respect whatever response they give. Even if they are rude. Hey, they might have had a bad day but not your problem as not in your control. What is in your control is you SAYING HI in a nice friendly way sooooooooooooooooooo hurry up girl :) :) :)
:lol: okay so i did it!!!!! i emailed him!!! and i felt on top of the woooooooooooorld!!!!
....then it bounced back "user not found". :lol: :lol:

not to be deterred though, i found one of his dance students on myspace and inquired about their dance group (and instructor) :P *te he he*

[smiling28]

For the first time in my life I'm really jeallous. Someone else has taken over my dance-crush :evil:
I saw she was trying to hook him a few weeks ago. But I thought he just behaved politely. When I asked him for a dance last sunday and she stood right beside - I saw him flashing to her with a smile and an twinkle in is right eye. Just like....I'm sorry I have to dance with this girl before I come back to you.

D*mn! HE IS MINE!!! 2 x 7 minutes each Sunday is all I need. :twisted:

But I guess there is nothing I can do about it. If I take up the fight he will believe I'm really interested. But all I want is to dance and have those magic moments. Feel like I'm the central of the universe. And not just anybody.

/luc


LOL, change is natural yet we resist. I am sure you have MUCH MUCH more than 2 x 7 minutes of bliss coming your way :) :) :)

That is time you have not lost but time you get to INVEST elsewhere for greater bliss oneday!

[smiling28]

* guys LIKE girls being friendly and saying hi. Most people do. As long as you are cool and respect whatever response they give. Even if they are rude. Hey, they might have had a bad day but not your problem as not in your control. What is in your control is you SAYING HI in a nice friendly way sooooooooooooooooooo hurry up girl :) :) :)
:lol: okay so i did it!!!!! i emailed him!!! and i felt on top of the woooooooooooorld!!!!
....then it bounced back "user not found". :lol: :lol:

not to be deterred though, i found one of his dance students on myspace and inquired about their dance group (and instructor) :P *te he he*

LOL, you are too funny. GREAT work :) :) :)




Chance favours the prepared mind and now you have prepared an email/something to say to the dude :) :) :)

[ptwist]

i must admit...

EMILY ALABI is my dream girl...true story i was hopin i would see her in palm springs lol

Come to the Singapore Salsa festival, she will be there!

I will ask her to dance for you and me :)


hahahah too far...have fun and tell her a guy named PHILLY will one day improve to lead her perfectly.....

no but on the real...shes like i heard the most down to earth girl ...shes my age as well...so you can see where i'm going with this =)

and hell free on2 lessons by Junior hahhaha

going far from myself .... anyways theres alot of females that i grasp into conversations with when i'm done dancing with them. salsa is so easy to connect especially dance wise. You can tell them a whole story about yourself on the dance floor without a saying a word...even better ...a lame pick up line :D

[smiling28]

i must admit...

EMILY ALABI is my dream girl...true story i was hopin i would see her in palm springs lol

Come to the Singapore Salsa festival, she will be there!

I will ask her to dance for you and me :)


hahahah too far...have fun and tell her a guy named PHILLY will one day improve to lead her perfectly.....

no but on the real...shes like i heard the most down to earth girl ...shes my age as well...so you can see where i'm going with this =)

and hell free on2 lessons by Junior hahhaha

going far from myself .... anyways theres alot of females that i grasp into conversations with when i'm done dancing with them. salsa is so easy to connect especially dance wise. You can tell them a whole story about yourself on the dance floor without a saying a word...even better ...a lame pick up line :D


LOL, nice work and soooo true about the story :)

[{WuMing}78]

i must admit...

EMILY ALABI is my dream girl...true story i was hopin i would see her in palm springs lol

Come to the Singapore Salsa festival, she will be there!

I will ask her to dance for you and me :)

So when are you coming to Singapore ? Then both of us can take turns to dance with her..... :o

I really love to dance with EMILY! :D

[Capibaribe]

Oh yes, happens to me at almost every congress and it really sucks to fly back home sometimes :(

Last one in the line was at the Hamburg congress this summer...met a lovely lady from holland. She was a performer at that congress so I have good hopes of seeing her again somewhere :)

[ville]

salsa crushes are the lemon of the mojito called salsa dance.

[Flujo]

salsa crushes are the lemon of the mojito called salsa dance.Yep, agree with that totally! ;)
Some women, and men I would imagine, have such an overpowering presence on the floor that you can't help but wonder.

[Pacion]

Some women, and men I would imagine, have such an overpowering presence on the floor that you can't help but wonder.

Overpowering? :nope: Not good. I prefer the words, charisma; aura. That is what makes the person, unforgettable to you. :D

[ville]

ps. i was supposed to write lime cpt obvious.

[Flujo]

Overpowering? :nope: Not good. I prefer the words, charisma; aura. That is what makes the person, unforgettable to you. :D That's only happened once so far. Couldn't look her in the eye. She absolutely had me for that dance! Perhaps what you said about charisma and aura would be a better way of putting it.

ps. i was supposed to write lime cpt obvious.cpt? So were you suggesting it's a good or bad thing? :)

[ville]

no no it was a remark to myself sorry :p

[Pacion]

Overpowering? :nope: Not good. I prefer the words, charisma; aura. That is what makes the person, unforgettable to you. :D That's only happened once so far. Couldn't look her in the eye. She absolutely had me for that dance! Perhaps what you said about charisma and aura would be a better way of putting it.

"overpowering" according to my frames of reference mean that..... (let me see if I can explain it)........... the person or thing that has been overpowered results in that person/thing is left with 'no free will'.

Therefore, someone with an "overpowering" presence (personality) suggests to me that that person's presence results in you not having any free will, rendering you helpless. Hence, why I went for the 'nicer'words of charisma, aura. Mind you, you may not necessarily develop a 'salsa crush' on someone with charisma or a good aura, but, the word "overpowering" :nope:

[Flujo]

Ok. How about intoxicating? ;)

[smiling28]

captivating?



*Gets thesaurus and dictionary...

[antigone]

Why don't you just say you like the person and ask for a phone number? Or does that ruin all this romantic reminiscence you've got going since..let's see... 2004? :)

[ville]

you can ask, there is no problem with that but you have to make her understand on what basis is your request made;

1)for dancing
2)for other activities

now i assume this is for the men only because women only ask phone number for dancing :/

[Andresito]

Ah! Salsa Crushes !

I am going through one right now, the bigest I had in long years.

I go dancing often and met her at my regular thursday venue.

What a woman. Beautiful, plenty of soul and "sabor", intelligent, sensitive, sweet, I was hooked from the first dance.

I thought from the beginning that she is way out of my league, but as I am a good dancer she was hooked on me too, I met her every thursday waited for her to arrive and we danced her first dances and the last of the evening, just before she leaved.

We switched to fridays to another venue, for some months, this was my week dancing highlight. I kept dreaming about her the rest of the week.

When I dance and there is the attraction thing going on it is marvelous, I give the best of me and surely she can feel it. But I don't pursue anything, maybe for fear of breaking the magic, or simply because I want it to happen naturally, slowly but surely as my other love stories have been.

The more I saw her, the more I was crushed, she is really a dream come true. But I never asked her numbers or tried to see her out of there..

But she was expressing some annoyance with the venues, the smoke, the crowded wardrobe, some guys that were too daring on the bachatas, etc etc...

then one day she didn't come.

It has been 8 weeks already and I don't know how to find her. I went to any other venue on the region to see if she has maybe changed to some other, but with no luck.

maybe she just lost interest on dancing and she is now gone.

And I am left here with this sweet and bitter limerence on my heart. :oops:

[giglet]

Maybe she has taken a holiday?
Some people have a break, she might be back before you know it.

I've never had crushes quite to severe but it's quite common when someone seems to tick all the boxes.
lol

~Giglet~

[Capibaribe]

It has been 8 weeks already and I don't know how to find her. I went to any other venue on the region to see if she has maybe changed to some other, but with no luck.

maybe she just lost interest on dancing and she is now gone.

Nah, cheer up! Most likely she'll turn up at the congress! I'll be down there, will help you look! :)

[Jag75]

I had a serious crush on a girl I met in salsa class that went from around August 2006 until February 2007. She ended up meeting some other guy and they are now together :(

We're still friends and it's funny but not long after Feb of last year I realised that we would be much better as friends anyway - the more I know her the more I realise that in the end we're different in so many ways - that's something that's usually harder to see when you're obsessed with someone (yes I was obsessed) - not very healthy.

[TIMBA POR TODAS PARTES]

--

[gelsey]

I've found I tend to develop more salsa crushes the more I go out dancing. I get hormone-drunk and high from the infamous salsa cocktail of music, physical contact, spinning and sweat. And the crushes mess with my peace of mind, because I can't do anything with them in "real life".

[Flex]

I've found I tend to develop more salsa crushes the more I go out dancing. I get hormone-drunk and high from the infamous salsa cocktail of music, physical contact, spinning and sweat. And the crushes mess with my peace of mind, because I can't do anything with them in "real life".

I find the best antidote is to have several salsa crushes going at the same time, maybe even at the same venue. Keeps your immunity level topped up.

And never to let the crushes go further than the dance floor.

[TIMBA POR TODAS PARTES]

I disagree about the further part. What is the point of having those crushes then if you ain't gonna do anything about it? :)

[sweavo]

I disagree about the further part. What is the point of having those crushes then if you ain't gonna do anything about it? :)

A constant pheromone high?

[Salsamakossa]

For one thing, you can't do much about it when you have an everlovin' at home....

Flex, you are welcome...lol.

I disagree about the further part. What is the point of having those crushes then if you ain't gonna do anything about it? :)

[SnowDancer]

I'm finding the opposite happening: All that physical contact desensitizes me.

[antigone]

I'm finding the opposite happening: All that physical contact desensitizes me.
Same here! Except I would say I've had to consciously desensitize myself, so as to be comfortable with all the physical contact. I wonder if it's different for men vs. women..

[noobster]

I'm finding the opposite happening: All that physical contact desensitizes me.
Same here! Except I would say I've had to consciously desensitize myself, so as to be comfortable with all the physical contact. I wonder if it's different for men vs. women..

I wouldn't say I became desensitized to it, but rather that now I actually like it, whereas when I started I really did not.

[Andresito]

I sincerelly doubt that men get desensitized...

[SnowDancer]

I'm finding the opposite happening: All that physical contact desensitizes me.
Same here! Except I would say I've had to consciously desensitize myself, so as to be comfortable with all the physical contact. I wonder if it's different for men vs. women..

Yes, I think so. As you said, you weren't comfortable with it before, but got used to it. I think most of us guys feel more positively about it.

I think the desensitization is a good thing, since it lets us concentrate on dancing and making friends.

[sweavo]

I don't know about desensitized, but partner dancing has given me a sense of emotional maturity, where not every physical brush means something must be consummated! I think that in a hands-off culture like Britain, the very idea of physical contact becomes charged with sexual overtones. Salsa helps overcome that.

[Flex]

I don't know about desensitized, but partner dancing has given me a sense of emotional maturity, where not every physical brush means something must be consummated! I think that in a hands-off culture like Britain, the very idea of physical contact becomes charged with sexual overtones. Salsa helps overcome that.

Yes to that. Indeed, I think you may have hit upon one of the many reasons why both men and women like it.

And we can go on to note that, although men vastly prefer dancing with women, after a while it is no longer repugnant to dance with a man. Not desensitization, not abandoment of sexuality, but maturity as you say....

Interesting.

[TheBear_CanDanceToo]

Ideally, when I'm dancing, I have a crush on my partner that lasts the four or five minutes that we dance together. Then I go and have a crush on someone else.
Occasionally, in my head (and my heart) the crush is so intense that it (or at least the feeling of it) continues beyond the dance, though obviously I'd never admit this to my SO, and I never act on it.

When the crush is returned, this is when the dance is at its most beautiful, regardless of moves or music.

[SnowDancer]

Ideally, when I'm dancing, I have a crush on my partner that last the four-five minutes that we dance together. Then I go and have a crush on someone else.


That's a great way to put it!! :cheers:

[snowflake]

Oh yes, I am there too - I have a crush. Was v pleased to find this thread, as when it happened I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself and was getting a bit flustered by the whole thing :oops: . Have calmed down now, and reading the other posts about salsa crushes here certainly have helped.

Anyway, this is how it started:

I had been to my 4th lesson, and was dancing in the general salsa session after the classes (is that what happens everywhere? a proper dance session after the class? Remember, I am completely new to the salsa scene. Sorry, tangent.). I was asked to dance by one of the guys from my class and we had a nice dance, practicing what we had done in the lesson. Then I danced with a few others, and towards the end of session the same guy (that I had already danced with) came up and asked me to dance again. Correction, he didn't actually say anything, he
just took my hand and led me on the the dance floor. And this time, and unlike any other dance partner so far, he really took my hand in a firm hold. None of this 'light touching of fingertips', or pushing me along from the back, but a firm, quite masterful hold.

And I thought ... oooohhh, this is nice :D

At this point I am 50% flattered (to be asked by same man twice, and who is also younger than me) and 50% flustered (because of the hand thing and how that made me feel, but also because of this strange idea I had - I now know this is wrong and I'm not sure where I got it from - I believed there was an unspoken rule that you shouldn't ask the same person to dance more than once!) :roll:

So we proceed into the dance, and I am becoming more and more aware of his arms - which, just like his handgrip, are kind of strong, firm and yes, a bit masterful.

The dance is ok technique- and footwork-wise, we both make mistakes, but I thoroughly enjoy myself, mainly because of these great arms. They (the arms) just told me where they wanted me to be. So I went there. I can tell he enjoyed the dance as well as at the end and as we were walking off the dancefloor he almost gave me a little semi-hug, a kind of little squeeze across the shoulders. Or I might have imagined that last bit. Not sure now. :shock:

So ... this made me think about this guy for the entire next week. Non-stop.

So was a little bit nervous and decided to play it very cool when going back for this week's class. But all was ok. During the class and dancing afterwards (yes I danced with him again) I realised that it's not the man I had a crush on, just his hands and arms and the connection we made during the dance.

[gelsey]

Hi snowflake,

welcome to the world of salsa, where it's more than ok to enjoy the touch and feel of masterful dancers. They appreciate it when you do. Just be wise and stay a little protective of your heart. And never forget: HE should be flattered just as much to have YOU as a dance partner. ;-)

[snowflake]

Hi snowflake,

welcome to the world of salsa, where it's more than ok to enjoy the touch and feel of masterful dancers. They appreciate it when you do. Just be wise and stay a little protective of your heart. And never forget: HE should be flattered just as much to have YOU as a dance partner. ;-)

Thanks gelsey - good advice, I'll keep it mind :)

[SnowDancer]

...During the class and dancing afterwards (yes I danced with him again) I realised that it's not the man I had a crush on, just his hands and arms and the connection we made during the dance.

I think that's the definition of "salsa crush". ;)

[nowhiteshoes]

None of this 'light touching of fingertips', or pushing me along from the back, but a firm, quite masterful hold.

And I thought ... oooohhh, this is nice :D

you may find this really annoying in a year or two :shock: as you gain more experience and just require a gentle guide. maybe, maybe not.

[noobster]

None of this 'light touching of fingertips', or pushing me along from the back, but a firm, quite masterful hold. you may find this really annoying in a year or two :shock: as you gain more experience and just require a gentle guide. maybe, maybe not.

Well, you always want the guy to feel like he knows what he's doing. I like a light touch as much as the next girl, but a lot of beginner leaders have a wet-lettuce kind of hold that doesn't communicate anything at all. I wonder if this is what snowflake is comparing her 'crush' to?

I think it's not the physical force that does the communication, it's the leader's confidence in his plan that he projects through his hold.

[nowhiteshoes]

I like a light touch as much as the next girl, but a lot of beginner leaders have a wet-lettuce kind of hold that doesn't communicate anything at all.


you've described my lead for the first 6 months of my salsa-life :lol:

[snowflake]

None of this 'light touching of fingertips', or pushing me along from the back, but a firm, quite masterful hold.

And I thought ... oooohhh, this is nice :D

you may find this really annoying in a year or two :shock: as you gain more experience and just require a gentle guide. maybe, maybe not.

I absolutely see what you mean, however the firm handhold was only while walking on to the dancefloor, not during the dance

[snowflake]

Crush Update

It is over. This guy is now seriously starting to annoy me as he now isn't leaving me alone. He asked me to dance 4 times + after the class last night. Ok, so I wasn't dancing with anybody else at the time, but my plan had been to be a bit brave and do a bit of asking myself. Get a bit of exposure. As it was I never got the chance, as soon as I was free there he was.

Am I being stupid? Ungrateful? Any suggestions?

ps. The over-the-shoulder squeeze that I wasn't sure if it was only in my imagination or not, well ... I now know. It was definitely there.

[sweavo]

Crush Update

It is over. This guy is now seriously starting to annoy me as he now isn't leaving me alone. He asked me to dance 4 times + after the class last night. Ok, so I wasn't dancing with anybody else at the time, but my plan had been to be a bit brave and do a bit of asking myself. Get a bit of exposure. As it was I never got the chance, as soon as I was free there he was.

Am I being stupid? Ungrateful? Any suggestions?

ps. The over-the-shoulder squeeze that I wasn't sure if it was only in my imagination or not, well ... I now know. It was definitely there.

He fancies you. introduce him to your husband / boyfriend or your "boyfriend" if you don't have one.

In the meantime, there's no problem with turning someone down for a third dance. Just say "maybe later, I have to ask 5 people tonight!" or something.

[DeeplyDippy]

He fancies you.

Damn, I didn't see that one coming ...


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Flex]

Sigh. Sheesh! - how fickle the ladies are! First they have a crush on you, then if you pursue them honestly they freeze up on you.

But every thinkin' guy knows this and plays it cool..... doncha just love that chess game though?...

[nowhiteshoes]

Crush Update

It is over. This guy is now seriously starting to annoy me as he now isn't leaving me alone. He asked me to dance 4 times + after the class last night. Ok, so I wasn't dancing with anybody else at the time, but my plan had been to be a bit brave and do a bit of asking myself. Get a bit of exposure. As it was I never got the chance, as soon as I was free there he was.

Am I being stupid? Ungrateful? Any suggestions?

ps. The over-the-shoulder squeeze that I wasn't sure if it was only in my imagination or not, well ... I now know. It was definitely there.

:uplaugh: . oh well...another one bites the dust. its funny how some crushes are there one minute then gone the next.

[snowflake]

Well I did ask for suggestions, so many thanks for you helpful replies :D

But before I gain myself a reputation as the dumbest female on this forum, please remember that when you first enter this parallel universe twighlight thing zone of Salsa dancing it is a little bit daunting and we (probably applies to both men and women) have no idea what to expect :shock: :shock: :shock: There are a completely different set of social rules that apply here, and we ('new' people) are just not used to them :?

He fancies you.

Yes, I gathered that much, but how to deal with it? :oops: We are supposed to be friendly and say 'yes' when someone asks us to dance, right?

Just say "maybe later, I have to ask 5 people tonight!" or something.

And this is the perfect answer, thanks so much ! :D :D

[snowflake]

Sigh. Sheesh! - how fickle the ladies are! First they have a crush on you, then if you pursue them honestly they freeze up on you.

But every thinkin' guy knows this and plays it cool..... doncha just love that chess game though?...

:uplaugh: . oh well...another one bites the dust. its funny how some crushes are there one minute then gone the next.

Yep, life is harsh. He blew it. :twisted:

Now, there was this other guy who took me through my first Bachata last night ... deep sigh .... No, let's not go there.

[desire]

Hehe snowflake, u've discovered the power of latin dance. The connection u can make and the feelings it gives u.
Bachata is stronger feelingwise than salsa because of the intense body-lead (if it is danced like it should be).
Now, in the last year i've had some salsacrushes and salsagirlfriends and i have learned to let them know you first before dancing. My gf's loved me bc they loved to dance with me... afterwards it showed that our personalities were just too different. So now i try to find out who a person really is before going to dance.... ofcourse dancing salsa is a must in my relation with anybody. Salsa made it harder to find someone but on the other hand it enriched my life tremendeously.

[sirenita]

But before I gain myself a reputation as the dumbest female on this forum, please remember that when you first enter this parallel universe twighlight thing zone of Salsa dancing it is a little bit daunting and we (probably applies to both men and women) have no idea what to expect There are a completely different set of social rules that apply here, and we ('new' people) are just not used to them

I'm impressed with how clearly you stated this! (and glad to hear someone else say it)
I've had an extreme reaction to this phenomenon:
As much as I like to go out, I sometimes have the strange urge to turn and run every time I get to the salsa venue. :oops: :car:
I'm not usually so wierd, but it's like there is an intimacy in the dance and it makes me somewhat uncomfortable since everyone is such a complete stranger. :oops: :oops:
I'm winning the battle... but OH I drive myself nuts, being such a pansy! :evil:
I'm going to make a post for tomorrow night... for the "tonight's challenge"
I'm competetive.
:twisted:

[antigone]

This very nice older gentleman waits for me every time I come into the venue. He is very polite and pleasant, and only asks me to dance once, maybe twice in a night. He is actually quite a good leader, and I feel very comfortable dancing with him, but he doesn't really have the same feel for the music I do, and the dancing is more sedate than I usually do, so although I really appreciate him as a partner, no salsa sparks on or off the floor. Last time as he was leaving he handed me a white rose and thanked me for the dance as usual. This is just an old-fashioned lovely gesture of thanks, right? I'm not asking the under-35 crowd - you guys don't give flowers, I know :)

[SnowDancer]

This very nice older gentleman waits for me every time I come into the venue. He is very polite and pleasant, and only asks me to dance once, maybe twice in a night. He is actually quite a good leader, and I feel very comfortable dancing with him, but he doesn't really have the same feel for the music I do, and the dancing is more sedate than I usually do, so although I really appreciate him as a partner, no salsa sparks on or off the floor. Last time as he was leaving he handed me a white rose and thanked me for the dance as usual. This is just an old-fashioned lovely gesture of thanks, right? I'm not asking the under-35 crowd - you guys don't give flowers, I know :)

Umm.... I'm a bit on the "older" side, and it's been many years since I've given flowers to anyone I wasn't related to. But... I only recall giving flowers to women I was going out with. Still, it does seem like a nice gesture, and it probably is harmless.

The under-35 crowd doesn't give flowers?

[smiling28]

This very nice older gentleman waits for me every time I come into the venue. He is very polite and pleasant, and only asks me to dance once, maybe twice in a night. He is actually quite a good leader, and I feel very comfortable dancing with him, but he doesn't really have the same feel for the music I do, and the dancing is more sedate than I usually do, so although I really appreciate him as a partner, no salsa sparks on or off the floor. Last time as he was leaving he handed me a white rose and thanked me for the dance as usual. This is just an old-fashioned lovely gesture of thanks, right? I'm not asking the under-35 crowd - you guys don't give flowers, I know :)


nice, clearly you are rose worthy :)


I thought white was for friendship but just looked it up. Yellow is friendship, white is:

White Rose
A white rose symbolizes innocence and purity

Nice! I would not think too much about it though. You will never truly know or guess his intentions. As long as he is respectful and you of him then relax and enjoy. Clearly no one is leading each other on. A harmless sweet occasion. Up to him to make his feelings clear (if any) and then up to you to be direct and respectful to him with you wishes.

Life can be easy sometimes he he :)

[Jolinia]

Last night at the social there was this advanced leader from my salsa school. I haven't met him, bit I've seen him dance and he's really great! Great body movements, great musicality, smooth and cool. And a much much much better dancer than I am.
He was standing at the side of the dance floor, moving to the music and looked like he was up for a dance. So I took up all my courage and walked over and asked him to dance (It still costs ma a lot to ask great dancers I don't know). I expected two, three nice dances and that's it.

We started to dance and it felt great - I loved his lead, it was just as smooth as it looked. I know he adjusted his repertoire to my skills but it never felt like he was dumbing down for me. Then two bachatas came up, and my first thought was "oh dear" because I'm not the best bachata dancer. But it worked perfectly we were playful and having fun. Then the next salsa came on and we kept dancing.
Usually I'm a bit nervous when I ask better dancers because I want to give my best so that they don't get bored or frustrated with me. But he made me feel so comfortable, so relaxed. He was so humble about his own skills, we tried out things, some didn't work, other did and we had way too much fun. I never wanted to stop dancing again :D
We finally stopped dancing because we were exhausted after at least ten dances!!!! We've probably been non-stop dancing for an hour or so :shock: :D :banana:

[smiling28]

Last night at the social there was this advanced leader from my salsa school. I haven't met him, bit I've seen him dance and he's really great! Great body movements, great musicality, smooth and cool. And a much much much better dancer than I am.
He was standing at the side of the dance floor, moving to the music and looked like he was up for a dance. So I took up all my courage and walked over and asked him to dance (It still costs ma a lot to ask great dancers I don't know). I expected two, three nice dances and that's it.

We started to dance and it felt great - I loved his lead, it was just as smooth as it looked. I know he adjusted his repertoire to my skills but it never felt like he was dumbing down for me. Then two bachatas came up, and my first thought was "oh dear" because I'm not the best bachata dancer. But it worked perfectly we were playful and having fun. Then the next salsa came on and we kept dancing.
Usually I'm a bit nervous when I ask better dancers because I want to give my best so that they don't get bored or frustrated with me. But he made me feel so comfortable, so relaxed. He was so humble about his own skills, we tried out things, some didn't work, other did and we had way too much fun. I never wanted to stop dancing again :D
We finally stopped dancing because we were exhausted after at least ten dances!!!! We've probably been non-stop dancing for an hour or so :shock: :D :banana:


incredible! I bet he would LOVE to read that post ;)

[Big10]

Last time as he was leaving he handed me a white rose and thanked me for the dance as usual. This is just an old-fashioned lovely gesture of thanks, right? I'm not asking the under-35 crowd - you guys don't give flowers, I know :)
Yes, I think he was just being nice in an old-fashioned way. A couple of years ago, I remember seeing one man (who appeared to be in his 60s, at least) who would come to a place with a bundle of red roses, and he would give one to each lady who danced with him. That was just "his thing." It was clear that he wasn't trying to pick up the women. He enjoyed dancing, he danced simply, and it never looked like he was trying to feel up younger women or do anything inappropriate. I do think there was generation of folks who appreciated romance and aren't embarrassed to make gestures like that to strangers or casual acquaintances.

By the way, I saw him only 2 or 3 nights and I haven't seen him in awhile.....so hopefully he didn't go broke from buying so many roses! ;) :lol:

[AndrewS]

We finally stopped dancing because we were exhausted after at least ten dances!!!! We've probably been non-stop dancing for an hour or so :shock: :D :banana:

10 :shock: I've never danced more than three in a row with anyone (and even three is a very rare occurrence)

[Another AndrewS]

Ten dances!!?!?!?!? :shock:

He must have really fancied you! :lol: :oops:

[antigone]

Ten dances!!?!?!?!? :shock:

He must have really fancied you! :lol: :oops:

yeah, seriously! Hope he's hot :)

[antigone]

Last time as he was leaving he handed me a white rose and thanked me for the dance as usual. This is just an old-fashioned lovely gesture of thanks, right? I'm not asking the under-35 crowd - you guys don't give flowers, I know :)
Yes, I think he was just being nice in an old-fashioned way. A couple of years ago, I remember seeing one man (who appeared to be in his 60s, at least) who would come to a place with a bundle of red roses, and he would give one to each lady who danced with him. That was just "his thing." It was clear that he wasn't trying to pick up the women. He enjoyed dancing, he danced simply, and it never looked like he was trying to feel up younger women or do anything inappropriate. I do think there was generation of folks who appreciated romance and aren't embarrassed to make gestures like that to strangers or casual acquaintances.

By the way, I saw him only 2 or 3 nights and I haven't seen him in awhile.....so hopefully he didn't go broke from buying so many roses! ;) :lol:

Oh good, that makes sense. He gave me another rose last time - this one was a pink-orange mix, and the next day it opened up and it was yellow-orange inside, just like a sunrise. Really neat. I agree about the generation influence.

[Jolinia]

Ten dances!!?!?!?!? :shock:

He must have really fancied you! :lol: :oops:

yeah, seriously! Hope he's hot :)

He is! :D - That's why I didn't mind at all dancing for so long with him ;)

[Ron Obvious]

Last time as he was leaving he handed me a white rose and thanked me for the dance as usual. This is just an old-fashioned lovely gesture of thanks, right? I'm not asking the under-35 crowd - you guys don't give flowers, I know :)

Doesn't a white rose mean that someone died?

And yes, we <35 don't give flowers, that's true. Partially because of the color-coding and so on...

[smiling28]

Ten dances!!?!?!?!? :shock:

He must have really fancied you! :lol: :oops:

yeah, seriously! Hope he's hot :)

He is! :D - That's why I didn't mind at all dancing for so long with him ;)


* Jolinia and hot guy sitting in a tree...............


hurray :)

[smiling28]

Last time as he was leaving he handed me a white rose and thanked me for the dance as usual. This is just an old-fashioned lovely gesture of thanks, right? I'm not asking the under-35 crowd - you guys don't give flowers, I know :)

Doesn't a white rose mean that someone died?

And yes, we <35 don't give flowers, that's true. Partially because of the color-coding and so on...


<35 email the rose

< 25 sms the rose

< 15 who knows (I am out of touch ha ha)

[DeeplyDippy]

I've only ever danced twice in a row with someone - I'll have to try more just for the hell of it :-)

[Offbeat]

I've only ever danced twice in a row with someone - I'll have to try more just for the hell of it :-)

Same here. That too many be only once or twice. Though it isn't uncommon around here especially where both know each other. Not that it matters but I wonder who asks for the continuance into second/third successive dance ... guy or the girl...if it's a girl I must be a terrible dancer :)

[MacMoto]

EDIT:
Replies to Offbeat's post have been moved to a new thread:
http://www.salsaforums.com/showthread.php?t=7402

[Brownskin818]

salsa crushes suck. :roll:

[quixotedlm]

salsa crushes suck. :roll:

I suppose that would depend on who, where and when ;)

[Brownskin818]

I suppose that would depend on who, where and when ;)
ive got the who down, trying to get on one accord with the where and when. http://www.salserosweb.com/phpBB3/images/smilies/snicker.gif

[Salsamakossa]

Slowly getting there then. Keep going.. lol.

ive got the who down, trying to get on one accord with the where and when. http://www.salserosweb.com/phpBB3/images/smilies/snicker.gif

[antigone]

ive got the who down, trying to get on one accord with the where and when. http://www.salserosweb.com/phpBB3/images/smilies/snicker.gif

You mean you're stalking the who? :)
Salsa crushes are silly. It would all be a lot simpler if people would just be honest with each other.

[Big10]

It would all be a lot simpler if people would just be honest with each other.
I don't think having a Salsa crush necessarily involves "dishonesty" -- it's more about not saying too much. And, along those lines, I don't think interpersonal relationships become suddenly simpler when all feelings are out in the open.

There are plenty of circumstances where revealing all of your feelings can make things MUCH more complicated than just having an idle crush and enjoying the other person's company. A few examples include when one person is already in a committed relationship, or co-workers, or teacher/student, etc.

I speak from a bit of past and current experience on the subject of holding crushes. ;)

[SnowDancer]

[QUOTE=Big10;86316
There are plenty of circumstances where revealing all of your feelings can make things MUCH more complicated than just having an idle crush and enjoying the other person's company. A few examples include when one person is already in a committed relationship, or co-workers, or teacher/student, etc.

I speak from a bit of past and current experience on the subject of holding crushes. ;)[/QUOTE]

Very true. Maybe we should define a 'salsa crush' as "an attraction to another dancer that we know we shouldn't act upon".

That or "a dance in a really crowded salsa club".
:P

[Brownskin818]

You mean you're stalking the who? :)
Salsa crushes are silly. It would all be a lot simpler if people would just be honest with each other.
:eyebrow: i have/have had 3 crushes. i live in LA and presently, none of them do. the first, i was "honest" with and sent him an email with the title "salsa crush" http://www.salserosweb.com/phpBB3/images/smilies/snicker.gif. we've corresponded, but he didn't take the bait. so he's not interested. i still have a crush on him though *shrugs*. the second moved overseas a month after i met him :(. the third has a girlfriend. not sure that "honesty" would simplify or change any of these scenarios. in the meantime, i do enjoy daydreaming. :mrgreen:

http://www.virtualorbit.com/images/smilies/daydream.gif

[quixotedlm]

If I had expressed all of my salsa cruhes, I'd probably jhave regretted most of it - even if they had been reciprocated. Come to think of it - even the ones that I did choose to express have only caused regrets thus far (with the exception of - maybe - one person).

It's not much worse than any other context in life - but more opportunities abound for crushes, heart breaks, mistakes, awkwardnesses... agree with brownskin - dreams are the only things that don't go pale and lost its shine with time :/

[salsera101]

I do have one crush and I think it is more admiration for a great dancer he he

[vata07]

come on guys, its hard enough being involved in a scene where everyone knows everyone and everyone talks about everyone behind their back (or so i've been informed about my scene in particular). now you want to be honest about whatever crush you might have, run the risk of the person not feeling the same way and having to see them all the time in da' club or in classes. :doh:

having said that, i'm curious about one thing though: do all women think a guy is making a play for them if he's friendly to them? (i.e always starting conversations, wanting to dance, etc.).

[noobster]

having said that, i'm curious about one thing though: do all women think a guy is making a play for them if he's friendly to them? (i.e always starting conversations, wanting to dance, etc.).

No, those two things are pretty normal in the salsa scene.

I would start to suspect 'making a play' if the guy asks for a LOT of dances (esp in a row), or if he otherwise spends a lot of extra time with me (walking me to my car or driving me home, asking me to go for drink/snack post-dancing without other people there, suggesting we get together to practice). But all those things are still gray areas and it would depend on my reading of the vibe from the guy. I've had guys do all those three things and still have it be pretty clear that they were just being friendly.

Generally there's a lot more leeway with salsa-people before I start to suspect non-platonic interest. Outside the salsa scene, if an unattached straight guy asks for my phone number without a specific reason, I'll pretty much put that down to interest. Within the salsa scene, I hand out my phone number easily and without too much concern.

Of course there have been a couple of times when I totally misread the situation - i.e. the guy really was interested and I put it down to salsa-friendliness. That would probably not happen outside the dance scene. It's like I have mufflers on those antennae when I go out dancing, otherwise they would be totally deluged and confused by all the false pseudo-sexual signals flying around on the salsa floor. So sometimes a real signal flies under the radar.

Now that the SO is around most of the time though, things are pretty clear. Plus his mate-guarding radar is always set to hyper-sensitive. :rolleyes:

[vata07]

Now that the SO is around most of the time though, things are pretty clear. Plus his mate-guarding radar is always set to hyper-sensitive. :rolleyes:i think that's a pretty normal reaction given the nature of the salsa scene, :)

actually i posted this question because of a particular situation i'm currently involved in. i met a woman when i started dancing a year ago. we hit it off, almost dated and to cut a long story short, we didn't and agreed to become friends. i was attracted to her in the beginning but that completely faded since we decided to be just friends. recently she became single again (we both had other people at some point during this past year) and started dancing and talking a bit more but now she's ignoring me as if she thinks i'm after her again and she's afraid of sending the wrong signals. i am 100% NOT interested in anything more than friends with her. when i started, i knew nothing about salsa and she was friendly then. now i know how to dance quite a bit since i've been taking lessons/practice and she's ignoring me. dancing/interacting JUST AS FRIENDS was fun and that's all i want from her. she couldn't possibly think i'm after her ONE YEAR LATER could she??? and i caught her and her girlfriends talking about me behind my back (more to my side since i saw them!!). its as if they think i'm in the salsa scene solely to get her. the whole thing just seems ridiculous to me.

i was worrying that being friendly was coming off as me making a play. i'm friendly with all of my groupies btw, ;)

[noobster]

i was attracted to her in the beginning but that completely faded since we decided to be just friends. recently she became single again ...
now she's ignoring me as if she thinks i'm after her again and she's afraid of sending the wrong signals. i am 100% NOT interested in anything more than friends with her...
she couldn't possibly think i'm after her ONE YEAR LATER could she???

Yup she could! I can't speak for all womankind but in general I'd say there's a tendency to think that once a guy is interested, he is forever interested. Women love to believe that men are yearning for them. Some women even get jealous when a guy they've spurned in the past finds happiness with someone else. Not logical but I've seen it in action. It's not that they want the guy himself; they just want his admiration. Male admiration is ego food for women.

I'd say, continue to be friendly but make it clear that there's no sexual interest. Don't ask her to dance any more or less frequently than you ask anyone else. Don't talk to her any more or less than you talk to anyone else. Don't give her the 110-watt smile; just give her the nice, friendly, 40-watt smile as your eyes wander past her to the next girl in line. When you dance, give her the clinically accurate lead, not the sensuous touch. If she plays silly girl tricks like ignoring you, snickering knowingly, or commenting about you within earshot (!), ask her what's the problem, straight out. That should pull her up.

[Offbeat]

Yup she could! I can't speak for all womankind but in general I'd say there's a tendency to think that once a guy is interested, he is forever interested.

I don't know why, but I am a bit surprised to learn this. And the tendency exists (other than for ego-boost) because a girl wants to be cautious about the guy who was once interested or because of a possibility to revive old sparks?

It's not that they want the guy himself; they just want his admiration. Male admiration is ego food for women.

Attention or admiration?


To Vata: Since there is no interest on either side, it should be very easy to send her a clear message that you aren't interested in her romantically.

[sweavo]

I'd say, continue to be friendly but make it clear that there's no sexual interest.

lol. I'd say ignore her, they're all crazy.

[vata07]

lol. I'd say ignore her, they're all crazy.
that's exactly what i'm thinking..and have been doing actually. i usually go in the opposite direction of drama without thinking twice.

[Fundance]

Sweavo has it.

But y'know, the more you tell us in capitals that you're not interested and it seems it's driving you wild that she ( and her friends) thinks you are, the more it come across that you might be (deeeep subconscious)... and women are pretty good at picking these things up.... hmnnnnn.....

But if you feel for her no more than a hatstand* now, then unless she's the only dance in town, I'd say treat her like you'd treat any other - invite for just one dance in an evening, if she turns you down forget it until she asks you, another time.

(* I am thinking of that time Fred Astaire danced amazingly with that hatstand but I am sure he did not take it home to bed with him.)

[noobster]

I don't know why, but I am a bit surprised to learn this. And the tendency exists (other than for ego-boost) because a girl wants to be cautious about the guy who was once interested or because of a possibility to revive old sparks?

Ha ha, are you surprised to find out what creepy things are going on in our pretty little heads? :P

I guess I do think the reason women find it hard to believe that a man's interest can change or evaporate over time is mainly about the ego boost. It's always easier to believe something flattering than something unflattering or neutral.

But given that this girl is likely assuming once-interested = always-interested, then the weird behavior vata07 describes makes sense as a way to pre-empt any further unwanted advances.


Attention or admiration?
Dunno, they come together a lot - so either or both I guess? Maybe depending on the person?


lol. I'd say ignore her, they're all crazy.
Mm... I suspect that could create further weirdness. For future smooth interactions, I'd venture that polite-but-uninterested is better than see-I'm-ignoring-you.

[vata07]

But given that this girl is likely assuming once-interested = always-interested, then the weird behavior vata07 describes makes sense as a way to pre-empt any further unwanted advances.
ok, when i first learned she became single again, SHE was the one suggesting that we do stuff outside of salsa, to which i agreed since said activities seemed harmless...its the stuff that "friends" did so i didn't think anything of it. i NEVER EVER suggested we do anything. i NEVER made any advances at all. everytime i would see her at the club i'd give her my usual hug like i do all the female friends i have there and i'd drag her to dance.

a part of me thinks one of these possibilities is happening:

1. she thought she made a mistake inviting me out outside of salsa since she's afraid i have feelings for her and doesn't want to send mixed signals which would have already done in this case;

2. she's disappointed that i didn't make a play for her once she knew i found out she's single again so she's blowing me off altogether (seriously, if i wasn't her first choice a year ago (went back to her ex), why would i wait around for a WHOLE YEAR for her to break up to try again. i think i deserve more respect than this. do women really think a guy would do this???). when we first met, there were sparks but we never did anything together to where i'd develop feelings for her.

Mm... I suspect that could create further weirdness. For future smooth interactions, I'd venture that polite-but-uninterested is better than see-I'm-ignoring-you.she and her friends started the weirdness. its funny how one of them would drag her away whenever i would be in her vicinity so that i wouldn't get to her...as if she's told them not to allow me to have access (either i'm paranoid or something is up). this has been 3 weeks now, when just the week before she wants to hang out. i would like to talk to her to get to the bottom of it but its been worse than fort knox!! :rolleyes:

either way, i have enough female friends to where i don't need to either have her as a friend or dance with her ever again. i just hate losing friends, especially over silly crap since she can't possibly know whats going on in my head, she's making an assumption.:rolleyes:

[Offbeat]

lol. I'd say ignore her, they're all crazy.

That was my first reaction. I don't know how big his scene is. Last thing he needs is a crazy girl going around telling other girls that he dances with them only if he is "interested" :D

ok, when i first learned she became single again, SHE was the one suggesting that we do stuff outside of salsa, to which i agreed since said activities seemed harmless...its the stuff that "friends" did so i didn't think anything of it. i NEVER EVER suggested we do anything. i NEVER made any advances at all. everytime i would see her at the club i'd give her my usual hug like i do all the female friends i have there and i'd drag her to dance.

Doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, etc. It is about perception (hers). And even if you did make it clear to her that you were participating in the activities only for sake of "friendship", you have no idea what she thought in her mind. Or may be she again got interested and in her mind thought you were too, and then lost that interest.

My suggestion - don't delve on it too much or pay any importance to her (and her friends). Ignore them.

[opm1s6]

Yup she could! I can't speak for all womankind but in general I'd say there's a tendency to think that once a guy is interested, he is forever interested. Women love to believe that men are yearning for them. Some women even get jealous when a guy they've spurned in the past finds happiness with someone else. Not logical but I've seen it in action. It's not that they want the guy himself; they just want his admiration. Male admiration is ego food for women.

I'd say, continue to be friendly but make it clear that there's no sexual interest. Don't ask her to dance any more or less frequently than you ask anyone else. Don't talk to her any more or less than you talk to anyone else. Don't give her the 110-watt smile; just give her the nice, friendly, 40-watt smile as your eyes wander past her to the next girl in line. When you dance, give her the clinically accurate lead, not the sensuous touch. If she plays silly girl tricks like ignoring you, snickering knowingly, or commenting about you within earshot (!), ask her what's the problem, straight out. That should pull her up.

ahh ego... i call it the trophy effect...i should stop before the bitter side somes out

lol. I'd say ignore her, they're all crazy.

that's always my default, but maybe I've lived in NYC for too long. I just don't have time to deal with craziness. moving on


2. she's disappointed that i didn't make a play for her once she knew i found out she's single again so she's blowing me off altogether (seriously, if i wasn't her first choice a year ago (went back to her ex), why would i wait around for a WHOLE YEAR for her to break up to try again. i think i deserve more respect than this. do women really think a guy would do this???). when we first met, there were sparks but we never did anything together to where i'd develop feelings for her.

You have used logic to try and explain female behavior. ;)

[dancing dapps]

i think that's a pretty normal reaction given the nature of the salsa scene, :)

actually i posted this question because of a particular situation i'm currently involved in. i met a woman when i started dancing a year ago. we hit it off, almost dated and to cut a long story short, we didn't and agreed to become friends. i was attracted to her in the beginning but that completely faded since we decided to be just friends. recently she became single again (we both had other people at some point during this past year) and started dancing and talking a bit more but now she's ignoring me as if she thinks i'm after her again and she's afraid of sending the wrong signals. i am 100% NOT interested in anything more than friends with her. when i started, i knew nothing about salsa and she was friendly then. now i know how to dance quite a bit since i've been taking lessons/practice and she's ignoring me. dancing/interacting JUST AS FRIENDS was fun and that's all i want from her. she couldn't possibly think i'm after her ONE YEAR LATER could she??? and i caught her and her girlfriends talking about me behind my back (more to my side since i saw them!!). its as if they think i'm in the salsa scene solely to get her. the whole thing just seems ridiculous to me.

i was worrying that being friendly was coming off as me making a play. i'm friendly with all of my groupies btw, ;)


Dont let it get to you, shes obviously a crank, if anything just laugh it off, and ask yourself do you really need a friend who is going to try and make herself feel better by scoring points off of you (even making snidy comments behind your back!!) Go find yourself some decent friends and keep your interaction civil and to a bare minimum, until she starts behaving like a woman who has got her act together, no need to start defending yourslf or doubting yourself if you have done nothing wrong and certainly dont come down to her level, and dont fuel her fire!!!

[quixotedlm]

regardless of male or female - rejecting someone who is otherwise a perfectly normal good looking person - is a guilt inducing action. we do a lot to avoid facing our own demons. in this case, she seems to be avoiding you at least partly because she is afraid of of the possibilty that she might have to express her rejection to you again. and even if it were clear that you weren't interested, you platonic friendship would still be under the auspices of her original rejection - and thus the continuation of a slight awkwardness andher own guilt (and potentially, hurt to your ego. nobody likes to feel rejected even if you weren't interested in the first place).

it's immature - the way she is reacting. this is a good example of a situation that calls for a tete a tete and some form of understanding as to how to interact with one another gracefully. but despite being immature, it's understandable (and very much within the realm of logic. if human behavior - even those of women - were not within the realm of understanding and logic, psychology would never have gained accepatance within the scientific community as much as it has today).


if you have shared some friendship before, i think it is reasonable to say that the onus is eqaually upon you to initiate a conversation.

[noobster]

a part of me thinks one of these possibilities is happening:

1. she thought she made a mistake inviting me out outside of salsa since she's afraid i have feelings for her and doesn't want to send mixed signals which would have already done in this case;

2. she's disappointed that i didn't make a play for her once she knew i found out she's single again so she's blowing me off altogether (seriously, if i wasn't her first choice a year ago (went back to her ex)...

...she and her friends started the weirdness. its funny how one of them would drag her away whenever i would be in her vicinity so that i wouldn't get to her...as if she's told them not to allow me to have access (either i'm paranoid or something is up). this has been 3 weeks now, when just the week before she wants to hang out. i would like to talk to her to get to the bottom of it but its been worse than fort knox!! :rolleyes:

Both reasonably likely. Also from the way you describe it it sounds like it's more her friends dragging her away from you than her purposely avoiding you? She might have mentioned the situation to the friends, and they could be the ones misinterpreting your motives and have taken it upon themselves to 'protect' her.


why would i wait around for a WHOLE YEAR for her to break up to try again. i think i deserve more respect than this. do women really think a guy would do this???).
Guys do that all the time. I've seen guys 'wait around' for YEARS. Maybe you wouldn't but it definitely happens.


either way, i have enough female friends to where i don't need to either have her as a friend or dance with her ever again. i just hate losing friends, especially over silly crap since she can't possibly know whats going on in my head, she's making an assumption.:rolleyes:

If it's actually difficult to get a dance or a chat at this point, then I'll join everyone else and say ignore her. Definitely don't make an *effort* to breach the barrier. Just forget about it and have your own good time.

You have used logic to try and explain female behavior.
Female behavior is as inherently logical (or illogical) as male behavior. It's just that the underlying goals are so different that men have a lot of trouble seeing the causal chain. Female behavior would be a dumb way to get what men want; but it's a great way to get what women want. ;)

[Big10]

actually i posted this question because of a particular situation i'm currently involved in.
Really? :o Ha ha. My general impression is that about 99.9% of "hypothetical" questions on this board are based on personal experience. ;)

she and her friends started the weirdness. its funny how one of them would drag her away whenever i would be in her vicinity so that i wouldn't get to her...as if she's told them not to allow me to have access (either i'm paranoid or something is up). this has been 3 weeks now, when just the week before she wants to hang out.
Also from the way you describe it it sounds like it's more her friends dragging her away from you than her purposely avoiding you? She might have mentioned the situation to the friends, and they could be the ones misinterpreting your motives and have taken it upon themselves to 'protect' her.
This situation seems pretty simple to me, and I go along with noobster's latest comments -- the woman's friends are totally behind the abrupt change in behavior. The woman probably thought she could deal with vata07 on a platonic level, but her friends started planting bad ideas in her head. So, unless vata07 can have a chitchat will all of the friends or have a blunt one-on-one conversation with the woman, then the situation is probably a lost cause. Either way, the mental stress isn't worth it and I'd point my positive energy in a different direction. It sounds like there are enough other compatible female partners in your scene, so that you don't have to worry too much about losing this one.

[smiling28]

I don't think having a Salsa crush necessarily involves "dishonesty" -- it's more about not saying too much. And, along those lines, I don't think interpersonal relationships become suddenly simpler when all feelings are out in the open.

There are plenty of circumstances where revealing all of your feelings can make things MUCH more complicated than just having an idle crush and enjoying the other person's company. A few examples include when one person is already in a committed relationship, or co-workers, or teacher/student, etc.

I speak from a bit of past and current experience on the subject of holding crushes. ;)


Lol, good post and I was about to write the same thing ha ha :)

Plus, its nice just to have a simple crush that keeps you excited about seeing a person with nothing else to make it complicated. Just a school yard crush where you do not know the person or about them much but it feels good to see them :)

For me anyway ;)

[smiling28]

:eyebrow: i have/have had 3 crushes. i live in LA and presently, none of them do. the first, i was "honest" with and sent him an email with the title "salsa crush" http://www.salserosweb.com/phpBB3/images/smilies/snicker.gif. we've corresponded, but he didn't take the bait. so he's not interested. i still have a crush on him though *shrugs*. the second moved overseas a month after i met him :(. the third has a girlfriend. not sure that "honesty" would simplify or change any of these scenarios. in the meantime, i do enjoy daydreaming. :mrgreen:

http://www.virtualorbit.com/images/smilies/daydream.gif

Some people say the fantasy is better than the reality.

I think it is nice to live in a reality of fantasy instead he he :)

[smiling28]

ok, when i first learned she became single again, SHE was the one suggesting that we do stuff outside of salsa, to which i agreed since said activities seemed harmless...its the stuff that "friends" did so i didn't think anything of it. i NEVER EVER suggested we do anything. i NEVER made any advances at all. everytime i would see her at the club i'd give her my usual hug like i do all the female friends i have there and i'd drag her to dance.

a part of me thinks one of these possibilities is happening:

1. she thought she made a mistake inviting me out outside of salsa since she's afraid i have feelings for her and doesn't want to send mixed signals which would have already done in this case;

2. she's disappointed that i didn't make a play for her once she knew i found out she's single again so she's blowing me off altogether (seriously, if i wasn't her first choice a year ago (went back to her ex), why would i wait around for a WHOLE YEAR for her to break up to try again. i think i deserve more respect than this. do women really think a guy would do this???). when we first met, there were sparks but we never did anything together to where i'd develop feelings for her.

she and her friends started the weirdness. its funny how one of them would drag her away whenever i would be in her vicinity so that i wouldn't get to her...as if she's told them not to allow me to have access (either i'm paranoid or something is up). this has been 3 weeks now, when just the week before she wants to hang out. i would like to talk to her to get to the bottom of it but its been worse than fort knox!! :rolleyes:

either way, i have enough female friends to where i don't need to either have her as a friend or dance with her ever again. i just hate losing friends, especially over silly crap since she can't possibly know whats going on in my head, she's making an assumption.:rolleyes:


Ok,

have been following this little saga :)

One response instead of ten but you have great responses already. Noobster is absolutely on point with her observations from my experience.

Simple thought: What do you want?

Drama -
Normal -
relationship -
Happy self -

I would choose option 4 and would not even have to phone a friend he he (actually, I need help on relationships mostly from others. I am very good observing others but myself is too close to home he he).

Anyway, to me it sounds like the girl just wants attention/drama something to take her mind off breakup or just give her something to do/talk about. So you can buy in and be entertainment/opportunity to pass the time at your own expense as it is a rollercoaster OR you can just live your life.

*if you ignore intentionally, this feeds the drama and I would not be surprised if she chases you a little for attention until you give it then she will play up again (rinse and repeat).

SO my suggestion, just be yourself. Focus on other things. If things come up with her and her friends. Be very well mannered but clearly show that you are not participating in any games.

AND

report back he he :)

[vata07]

Plus, its nice just to have a simple crush that keeps you excited about seeing a person with nothing else to make it complicated. Just a school yard crush where you do not know the person or about them much but it feels good to see them :)

For me anyway ;)
i think you described it here perfectly. i definitely don't have "i want to be with you" feelings. i just enjoyed the HARMLESS laughing, dancing, poking fun at each other kind of thing...i just want my friend back.

[smiling28]

i think you described it here perfectly. i definitely don't have "i want to be with you" feelings. i just enjoyed the HARMLESS laughing, dancing, poking fun at each other kind of thing...i just want my friend back.

Give it time my friend, do not feed her current mood with attention or lack of attention. Just be yourself and eventually hopefully she will return to herself.

That said, you may never get that past back with her as life is dynamic. But you may discover something even cooler.

Just be yourself, give it time and it will work out.

Good luck :)

[Big10]

That said, you may never get that past back with her as life is dynamic. But you may discover something even cooler.
Agreed. Without getting into too many excruciating details (mainly involving a jealous/controlling boyfriend), I lost one of my favorite dance partners/friends last year. :( I was very sad/disappointed about it for awhile -- but life moves on and there are many great women in the Salsa scene. Looking back on it, I have no doubt that I made some of my best "new" friends as a direct result of having extra time to ask different women to dance, rather than devoting large chunks of my time on certain evenings to dancing solely with my former friend. Silver lining on the gray cloud, I suppose....

[ptwist]

emily alabi is in my opinion the most beautiful girl ever...period.

She is my dream girl if there was one lol

[Salsamakossa]

Well, the best thing to do is tell her.. lol. Very often, dream girls are not within earshot. But atleast, we know she will be in SanFran in November, and prolly New York at the end of the month :) :). Or you can start with a dance?

emily alabi is in my opinion the most beautiful girl ever...period.

She is my dream girl if there was one lol

[ptwist]

oh i danced with her lol ...her and junior train me when they are or when I'm in town .....

I'm def gonna make it out to San Fran this year ...gonna book my ticket within the next month!!

[antigone]

so is it still considered a crush when it's mutual? :)

[Offbeat]

so is it still considered a crush when it's mutual? :)

I don't think he was talking about a crush for dancing :)

[antigone]

I don't think he was talking about a crush for dancing :)

but I Wasn't talking about him, and I Was talking about salsa :) (yes, an on-topic post is unusual from me)

[Big10]

so is it still considered a crush when it's mutual? :)
Yeah, I think it can still be a "crush" when it's mutual. A "crush" usually describes when you don't do something about your feelings, or you can't do something about it (for any number of reasons that have been mentioned in this thread).

So, for example, I can imagine scenarios where an instructor and a student have a mutual attraction that could just get messy and complicated if things go outside the dance studio. Similarly, one (or both) persons could already be involved in a serious relationship that they don't want to throw away, just to gamble on exploring the connection from the dance floor. Stuff like that. So, both parties just leave it as a flirty mutual crush.

Have I ever been in any of those scenarios??? Umm....maybe. ;)

[redHOT]

A "crush" usually describes when you don't do something about your feelings, or you can't do something about it (for any number of reasons that have been mentioned in this thread).



Having feelings & not doing anything about them is good right?

Since our classes are so large and most of my socializing is in class or dance parties I am always liking a different guy for short periods of time. I would never take it further. Feels good not even letting anyone know abt those crushes. :)

[antigone]

Yeah, I think it can still be a "crush" when it's mutual. A "crush" usually describes when you don't do something about your feelings, or you can't do something about it (for any number of reasons that have been mentioned in this thread).

So, for example, I can imagine scenarios where an instructor and a student have a mutual attraction that could just get messy and complicated if things go outside the dance studio. Similarly, one (or both) persons could already be involved in a serious relationship that they don't want to throw away, just to gamble on exploring the connection from the dance floor. Stuff like that. So, both parties just leave it as a flirty mutual crush.

Have I ever been in any of those scenarios??? Umm....maybe. ;)

I thought a crush was a spontaneous unreasonably intense attraction followed by some level of unreasonable obsession...or at least that's what teen shows taught me :)

[opm1s6]

You too! I was wholey educated at Bayside High by Mr. Belding! :D

yeah I'd buy your definition.

[Big10]

I thought a crush was a spontaneous unreasonably intense attraction followed by some level of unreasonable obsession...or at least that's what teen shows taught me :)
I think I was already out of my formative years by the time "Saved By the Bell" started, if opm1s6 is correct about where you got your definition. Maybe I got mine from an after-school special or a Schoolhouse Rock song about crushes.....I don't remember. ;)

Anyway, it's still possible for your definition to fit within mine, if you don't act upon (or reveal the depth of) your feelings. However, even so, I don't think a crush is necessarily about an attraction that is "unreasonably intense." I have felt very attracted to crushes in ways that make every bit of sense to me in terms of what I desire in a woman, except for the fact that acting upon the attraction would create problems -- so I try to avoid the problem. And, if part of the standard is an "unreasonable obsession," then does that mean it's possible to have a reasonable obsession? :confused:

Whatever the "proper" definition is, I just hope it doesn't mean I need therapy for wanting to dance Salsa with Elizabeth Berkley.... :)

[RugKutta]

Wow... I started this thread just over 4 years ago, and it's still going strong. Am I closing in on a record here?

[babybarbarella]

Ah, salsa crushes. I thought my friends and I were the only ones to use this term. Apparently not.

I don't get salsa crushes very often, but the dance has me crushing on someone right now. But they don't live in my city, so I can only see them every once in a while.

At this point, I am just enjoying the intensity of our dances. I mean, I have had other 'hot' dances. But when you really have that strong chemistry with someone, it just brings that salsa high quicker and stronger, too.

[antigone]

Another benefit of salsa crushes over real crushes is that it is perfectly acceptable to have several salsa crushes simultaneously. (It is, right? :rolleyes: )

[agarcia97]

I was in a class a couple months ago and this girl dropped in. She was gorgeous...latina, although Im not sure where from. Beautiful accent, hair, face body the whole thing. BUT the thing that attracted me the most is the confidence she had to go after it. She was an experienced on1 dancer but the class was on2. She seemed confused but at the same time very open and not phazed by having to ask for help. That level of confidence is always attractive. I have not seen her since, which suprises me because SLC is not a very big salsa community, but I am on the lookout.

[agarcia97]

Another benefit of salsa crushes over real crushes is that it is perfectly acceptable to have several salsa crushes simultaneously. (It is, right? :rolleyes: )


Why cant you have multiple real crushes at the same time?

[RugKutta]

Another benefit of salsa crushes over real crushes is that it is perfectly acceptable to have several salsa crushes simultaneously. (It is, right? :rolleyes: )

Hey, as long as they're just "crushes", who says you can't have more than one "real" crush at the same time? Now, it becomes a problem when you start pursuing two or more of said real crushes at the same time...

[smiling28]

Wow... I started this thread just over 4 years ago, and it's still going strong. Am I closing in on a record here?

LOL - I just laugh that this thread has probably outlasted many of the salsa crushes themselves he he ;)

[smiling28]

Hey, as long as they're just "crushes", who says you can't have more than one "real" crush at the same time? Now, it becomes a problem when you start pursuing two or more of said real crushes at the same time...

a ha - story time I believe ;)


*sits down and gets popcorn........

[vata07]

Another benefit of salsa crushes over real crushes is that it is perfectly acceptable to have several salsa crushes simultaneously. (It is, right? :rolleyes: )
yeah..i'd say i have about 5 or 6 salsa crushes right now...:bandit:

[smiling28]

no crushes for me at the moment which is a shame in some ways as it is a nice feeling to looking forward to seeing that special person he he :)

But I had a good run while they lasted ;)

[bailarina]

no crushes for me at the moment which is a shame in some ways as it is a nice feeling to looking forward to seeing that special person he he :)

But I had a good run while they lasted ;)


Thats sad!

I have several but alas most are not in the city where i live :(

[Berend]

Got two crushes, but it's more for the chase than the actual goal.
Mainly because it's one sided, but meh.

[real2]

This is the 2nd time now, in the last month or so, that I've become slightly infatuated with 2 girls that look like a very prominent salsa celebrity: Magna Gopal.

I guess when something becomes common, it also becomes more attractive. No surprise, both of these girls are equally as brilliant as Magna (not as amazing at dancing tho). :)

[smiling28]

This is the 2nd time now, in the last month or so, that I've become slightly infatuated with 2 girls that look like a very prominent salsa celebrity: Magna Gopal.

I guess when something becomes common, it also becomes more attractive. No surprise, both of these girls are equally as brilliant as Magna (not as amazing at dancing tho). :)


The good news: You have fantastic taste ;)

The bad news: There is only one Magna in this world lol (unless we clone her mwa ha ha )

:) :) :)

[real2]

The good news: You have fantastic taste ;)

The bad news: There is only one Magna in this world lol (unless we clone her mwa ha ha )

:) :) :)

Heh, wouldn't want to do that, but would absolutely love to date the 2 of the look-alikes :)

I can say I already have high value with them (they love my dancing, and it's quite mutual), so it's all good!!

[smiling28]

Heh, wouldn't want to do that, but would absolutely love to date the 2 of the look-alikes :)

I can say I already have high value with them (they love my dancing, and it's quite mutual), so it's all good!!

Lol - looking forward to you adding this to a salsa stories post :)

Keep us informed as it develops :)

*gets popcorn ready

[WessexSalsero]

Ah yes, let's bump this little beauty! How did I miss this thread in my archive searches!?

Important subject, salsa crushes.

[MacMoto]

Important subject, salsa crushes.
And here's a question re. something I've always been curious about:

What is your definition of a salsa crush?

- Someone you met in salsa you find attractive?

- Someone you feel you have a strong salsa chemistry with when you dance?

- Someone you find attractive AND you have chemistry with?

Is it the person, the dance, or does it have to be both together?
And how easy is it to tell where the dance chemistry ends and personal attraction starts?

[vata07]

And here's a question re. something I've always been curious about:

What is your definition of a salsa crush?

- Someone you met in salsa you find attractive?

- Someone you feel you have a strong salsa chemistry with when you dance?

- Someone you find attractive AND you have chemistry with?

Is it the person, the dance, or does it have to be both together?
And how easy is it to tell where the dance chemistry ends and personal attraction starts?
hmm..

someone that i have a good connection/chemistry with that i just happened to meet in salsa.:cool:

[sunsoul]

And here's a question re. something I've always been curious about:

What is your definition of a salsa crush?

- Someone you met in salsa you find attractive?

- Someone you feel you have a strong salsa chemistry with when you dance?

- Someone you find attractive AND you have chemistry with?

Is it the person, the dance, or does it have to be both together?
And how easy is it to tell where the dance chemistry ends and personal attraction starts?

I think it is hard to separate things out sometimes. A 'salsa crush' may seem like something more, but it could well be not. On the floor, the chemistry could be great, but outside the club there might not be much happening. It is easy to fall into the illusion - both sets of people are trying to look good on the dance floor, and all that eye contact and the body vibrations are part of the overall dance aesthetic. That can easily be interpreted wrongly, or, just misinterpreted by both people.

The person you are attracted to on the dance floor is different from the person you think they are. Once you break through the projection, and get to the real person, then you never know......... A salsa crush is just that - a salsa crush, not anything more to blow up.

[opm1s6]

ah the lovely salsa crush...

for me the two aren't mutually exclusive. She'll be more attractive if we have more dance chemistry. Simply physically beautiful women aren't enough any longer thanks to salsa. Now they have to be able to move. Emmm salsa crush

[RugKutta]

The girl who caused my original salsa crush was not that good of a dancer; she just was super cute and a nice personality... and didn't end up seeing her again for about 2 years. Of course, this was back in '04 when I first started social dancing, so the lack of salsa skill wasn't a deal breaker for me at the time.

Nowdays, however, a salsa crush for me is a mix of both attraction and chemistry. She doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous, but I do have to be attracted to her. She doesn't have to be the best dancer in the world, but I have to have have an above-average level of chemistry w/ her, and I have to have fun dancing w/ her (SuperRocketSalsaChics are a plus ^_^).

Also, alot of times my salsa crushes remain just that: crushes. Most of the time, due to distance, the girl's current relationship status (why does that sound so Facebook-ish?) or other factors, I may not necessarily aim to pursue them past the level of admiration and or appropriate flirting.

[Flujo]

Hehe, I'm so hearing you on that, opm! :)
Sunsoul, it's true what you say. I quite like getting all flirtatious on the dance floor but that's as far as it goes 99.9% of the time. There was this cute girl that I got talking to off of the dance floor, but we didn't hit it off in that way which was a bit disappointing. We still have it on the dance floor though so I'm all for mutual exclusivity. :)

[sunsoul]

Hehe, I'm so hearing you on that, opm! :)
Sunsoul, it's true what you say. I quite like getting all flirtatious on the dance floor but that's as far as it goes 99.9% of the time. There was this cute girl that I got talking to off of the dance floor, but we didn't hit it off in that way which was a bit disappointing. We still have it on the dance floor though so I'm all for mutual exclusivity. :)

I would thank the gods that you are still able to dance together, and still have the chemistry that you had before....... That is a precious thing. I think you might have got off lightly this time...........!

[Brownskin818]

*sighs*

my first crush doesnt live here.
my second crush moved away.
my third crush was an incurable off beater.
and i just found out my latest crush is gay :?.

[SnowDancer]

Is it the person, the dance, or does it have to be both together?
And how easy is it to tell where the dance chemistry ends and personal attraction starts?

That's the $1000 question. I keep telling myself that whatever happens on the dance floor is 'just dance'. But if salsa is confusing, bachata is 10 times so.

[opm1s6]

lol...actually it's pretty unambiguous with me, what is done on the floor, is just salsa flirtation and I make sure, for my own emotional protection to leave it at that.

it's been said before, but if you like someone, start socializing in none dance floor activities. Classes, practices, after a social or whatever and actually get some real insight into who the person is. A salsa crush can get really unattractive the second they start actually opening their mouths in an attempt to say something.

[Offbeat]

Hmmm can I throw more confusion into the mix ? :) How about moving beyond salsa crush .. a salsa girlfriend (SGF) or salsa boyfriend (SBF). Not real life GF or BF but hmm..what can be a right definition .. someone you know well, regularly go out dancing with, enjoy dancing with, look forward to go out dancing with ???

Do we need a separate thread for this? :D

[antigone]

I guess my most consistent requirement for a salsa crush is that it must be mutual...aside from that, the person does not have to be physically "my type", and does not need to converse with me off the dance floor...I guess that makes salsa crushes and real crushes mutually exclusive...but of course some of them aren't ;)

[sunsoul]

Hmmm can I throw more confusion into the mix ? :) How about moving beyond salsa crush .. a salsa girlfriend (SGF) or salsa boyfriend (SBF). Not real life GF or BF but hmm..what can be a right definition .. someone you know well, regularly go out dancing with, enjoy dancing with, look forward to go out dancing with ???

It sounds like you fancy her. You would have to spend time with this person outside the dance floor to know what was going on. As you know her well, it wouldn't be a salsa crush for me. :cheers:

[smiling28]

I guess my most consistent requirement for a salsa crush is that it must be mutual...aside from that, the person does not have to be physically "my type", and does not need to converse with me off the dance floor...I guess that makes salsa crushes and real crushes mutually exclusive...but of course some of them aren't ;)

Sweet, can we make a pact. Next time we meet at a congress we dance until we develop an everlasting salsa crush. thanks

[SnowDancer]

Hmmm can I throw more confusion into the mix ? :) How about moving beyond salsa crush .. a salsa girlfriend (SGF) or salsa boyfriend (SBF). Not real life GF or BF but hmm..what can be a right definition .. someone you know well, regularly go out dancing with, enjoy dancing with, look forward to go out dancing with ???

Do we need a separate thread for this? :D

Guess I have several of these, but they're the usual 'just friends' sort. We often meet for drinks before going dancing, and sometimes do non-salsa activities. They're a large part of what keeps me going.

[lolita]

A SBF for me would be that guy that gets more than the other salseros get.
I think I have a few of them.

[antigone]

Sweet, can we make a pact. Next time we meet at a congress we dance until we develop an everlasting salsa crush. thanks

you got it! (though that might not be for another decade...you might be all crushed out by then :) )

[Offbeat]

Guess I have several of these, but they're the usual 'just friends' sort. We often meet for drinks before going dancing, and sometimes do non-salsa activities. They're a large part of what keeps me going.

Hmm wasn't really referring to salsa people one socializes with outside the club. One or two followers you pay a bit more attention to than the rest? :)

It sounds like you fancy her. You would have to spend time with this person outside the dance floor to know what was going on. As you know her well, it wouldn't be a salsa crush for me. :cheers:

If by fancy you mean a non-romantic liking for that person, then yes. And probably spend more time outside of salsa too.

Previously, I have mentioned about never asking the same follower for a dance more than once or twice in entire evening. How the things change! Last few times I gone out, I danced with a couple of followers 75% of the time :) I think I am turning into ultimate salsa snob:eek::bandit:

[lolita]

If my salsa crush is crushing on me, but he has a gf, would he be considered a bad boy?

[MacMoto]

If my salsa crush is crushing on me, but he has a gf, would he be considered a bad boy?
Depends on what he's doing about his crush...

[Offbeat]

If my salsa crush is crushing on me, but he has a gf, would he be considered a bad boy?

Shouldn't that rather be in random thought thread ?