When some is less skilled at Salsa than you are.....

[peachexploration]

Some of the best advice that I've read:

The rule of thumb when couple dancing is that the strongest dancer must adjust to the level of the "less-skilled" dancer. There are no ifs and buts. The stronger dancer adjusts and that's the end of that. Too bad too many people don't have the ettiquete to go with their skills.

I can understand a beginner doing a tasmenian devil impersonation, but an advance dancer has no excuse! Grab your pride and ego put them in your packet for the time being, there is a time and place for everthing. Adjust, suck it up, and enjoy the time the other person gifts you with. :) :)

[DeeplyDippy]

Good advice - I always try to adjust to the level of my partners. And get it wrong sometimes :)

But, it doesn't mean you have to be stuck, going forward and back. I try to take beginner and intermediate dancers up to where they're starting to lose it a little. To stretch them a bit.

I'm not talking triples but maybe a double with lots of time to recover ?

[peachexploration]

..but, it doesn't mean you have to be stuck, going forward and back. I try to take beginner and intermediate dancers up to where they're starting to lose it a little. To stretch them a bit....

This is quite true DD. :) Sometimes you could stretch them a bit to the point where you show them that they could do things they'd never realized they could do. I'm definitely on the receiving end of that one and I love it. However, some people don't know or are aware that they have to or should adjust to the other person's abilities if they are the one who is the advanced dancer.

As Boriken says: Too bad too many people don't have the ettiquete to go with their skills.

This is crucial to be learned from the beginning. It's really sad when someone pushes someone to do a dip, triple spin or flip when it's blatantly apparent that it's beyond their skills.

[hopelessly_addicted]

As Boriken says: Too bad too many people don't have the ettiquete to go with their skills.
Gosh Boriken is a wise man..! That shows a sad reality but a good observation.. perhaps it's in the human nature that we tend to forget easily ie how it was like to be a beginner..


This crucial to be learned from the beginning. It's really sad when someone pushes someone to do a dip, triple spin or flip when it's blatantly apparent that it's beyond their skills.

I do not know what they are thinking when they do these things... Surely they'd know that they would look bad if the follower falls apart and is all over the place as a result of them pushing/forcing!

Perhaps those more advanced leads are not quite there yet since they don't seem to be aware of the effect of their leads...

one thing I realised the other day is that people who aren't skilled do not even know what's amiss. This is kinda in line with less skilled have more chance to enjoy than the more skilled. But then, yeah, if one is more skilled then the other, you gotta adapt and what I don't understand is, what goes through the mind of the more skilled to abuse the less skilled.. :?

[peachexploration]

.....But then, yeah, if one is more skilled then the other, you gotta adapt and what I don't understand is, what goes through the mind of the more skilled to abuse the less skilled.. :? Right HA. :) Often times it's the ego or more than I care to admit and have seen through experience, Salsa is really not taught as "partner" dance. It's said that it is a partner dance but not really "taught" as a partnership. "How two souls come together as one". Uhhmmm, that just sounded like a Boriken statement, didn't it? :lol: But anyways, you can't do that when both parties in the dance are dancing in seperate worlds. :)

[hopelessly_addicted]

But anyways, you can't do that when both parties in the dance are dancing in seperate worlds. :)

oh for sure! Both parties indeed have to be willing.. one of the reasons why it is so hard to get that fix dance.. so far Peache, I have had those BEAUTIFUL dances just a couple of times during my last 10 months of salsa social dancing. And, honestly, I'm not sure if those who gave me those dances have enjoyed as much as I have.. So it makes me think.. that I got a long way to go before achieving that mutual 'nirvana' that boricen talks about ;) You know, I do feel silly going into that nirvana alone if you know what i mean:oops: :lol:

on that note, time for me to go sleep! It's 3 30am here now... zzzz

[Mistica]

Being a beginner...I can totally feel this. I just went to a club recently and only danced 2 times!! Both men I danced with I told them that I was a beginner and they still threw me all over the place. I was completely embarassed :oops: I left the place with my tail between my legs and haven't been back. I'll go back again...when I can dig my head out of the hole I stuck it in. ;)

[peachexploration]

...I just went to a club recently and only danced 2 times!! Both men I danced with I told them that I was a beginner and they still threw me all over the place...

Mistica, I don't think you should feel embarassed for yourself but just for them. Their actions were completely awful and uncalled for specifically since you told them your level. Just show offs it seems. Don't worry! In the meantime, keep going to class and practicing. You'll be awesome before you know it and they'll be begging to dance with you! :D

[Mistica]

Thanks for the confidence boost!! Hopefully (crossing my fingers) I'll get back in the swing of things and show them what's what... 8)

[peachexploration]

Yup! :banana: That's what I'm talking about! :rocker:

[Mistica]

LOL :lol: I'll keep ya posted. I'm outta here for tonight...

[funseeker321]

being a beginner is the pits! I had my foot nearly crushed tonight because my lead didn't watch my back, so to speak. my foot has a huge bruise and still hurts! on a crowded dance floor I try to keep my dancing tight but this guy insisted in flinging me, and I do mean flinging me, about as if we were the only two out there.

this has happened only one other time on a different occasion where I think the guy thought he was dancing with a ragdoll! I was so shocked at his horrible lead that I suffered thru the dance.

having this happen twice has given me the confidence to say in the future mid-dance, "excuse me but we aren't dancing very well together" and exit the dance...but not the dancefloor!

[Nickie p]

hi i've only been salsa dancing 3 weeks now (so very much a baby in my skillset!)

but on wednesday i got to dance with the instructor and 2 other guys from the advanced class. The guys were told I was a beginner and to be honest they were both good leeds and both terrible leeds.

One guy did throw in a few moves i've never done but i was able to "go with them" if that makes any sense and the ones that I didn't get - in newbie nervousness i just stopped and he carried on and tried to do the move again! The other guy was spinning me about all over the place - so much so I said I was feeling really dizzy and was having problems even doing sidewards movement and he still continued to spin me and turn me! I was able to keep up with him but felt so ill afterwards.

The instructor was the best because he knew what i had learnt and although did put in some new steps he explained them as he did them.

I'm so looking forward to the day i'm brave enough to go to a salsa club - but I go to classes on my own, not quite sure i'm stupid enough to travel in to london to go to a salsa club on my own too.

Nic

[lolita]

well u gotta know that there are some leads that forgot they were begginers before , and that makes em the worest lead ever when it comes to dancing with a begginer!!
one of the techniques i use when i dance with somenoe whose in a more advanced level than i am , i try to go with him till the dance ends and then i say .. a good lead is someone who can can make his follower dance ..nhot the one who shows her how she can break her neck!!!

and believe me it works and it breaks their EGO :?

[peachexploration]

....I'm so looking forward to the day i'm brave enough to go to a salsa club - but I go to classes on my own, not quite sure i'm stupid enough to travel in to london to go to a salsa club on my own too.

Nic

Stupid enough? I wouldn't say that at all. The key is scoping out the bad ones and dance with the people who have a disire to dance, not show off. Even at the beginning level. And don't worry, you'll be on the dance club floor sooner that you think! ;) :)

[DeeplyDippy]

I'm so looking forward to the day i'm brave enough to go to a salsa club - but I go to classes on my own, not quite sure i'm stupid enough to travel in to london to go to a salsa club on my own too.

Nic

Hi Nic. Are you based in London or more generally in the South East ? There are a lot of clubs out there, perhaps not as intimating as the London ones.

[pr]

Welcome to Salsa Forums Nickie p! :D

[Mistica]

...I'm so looking forward to the day i'm brave enough to go to a salsa club - but I go to classes on my own, not quite sure i'm stupid enough to travel in to london to go to a salsa club on my own too.

Nic[/quote]

I am from the Cambridge area, North of London, and there are a few clubs up my way. They are small clubs, but a lot of dancers. I am sure that London would be intimidating. I would be intimidated ;)

[funseeker321]

sat night I went to a salsa event at a new club in Balt that was hosted by a DC salsa promoter. I had the opportunity to dance with a salsero who was a wonderful lead and an even more wonderful person. It may get lost in the writing of this as to what made him so nice to dance with but here goes...

the first dance with him I was very nervous because the DC dancers are really really good and have lots of style. they also dance on 2 which is alien to me...they also dance on 1 but prefer on 2...he was such a great lead and when I missed a signal or turned when I wasn't supposed to he smiled and explained the signal to me. I felt totally at ease listening to him and he didn't correct every move, mainly when I commented on my error.

the second dance with him was a slower salsa but who knows what tune I was hearing..! I was totally nervous again and was dancing to a much faster song than what was actuallly playing (must have looked like the Elaine dance, I think!)..anyway, he gently said that I could take my time and when I didn't take that cue he explained that this was a slower song. duh!!! I don't know what happened but I settled down and got the rhythm ,sort of, and began to have fun again. I'm sure I was still off beat but I guess not quite as bad. anyway, I enjoyed the dance and was totally amazed at the end when he gave me a hug as we were leaving the floor and said, thank you, that was really fun.....of course he was trying to make me feel good about my horrible dancing but you know what, it did make me feel good that he was so gracious and warm-hearted about it!

it's really painful sometimes as a beginner when you are dancing with excellent salseros and you can't seem to do anything right because you're so nervous you can't even hear the music I felt like crawling into a hole and dying in the beginning but was smiling by the end....

[peachexploration]

How wonderful, FS321! :D I'm so happy it was a great experience for you! :cheers: It made me smile just reading what you wrote. Good for you! :cheers:

[lolita]

i bet it was a wonderfull experience funseeker
and after all , being a begginer is not that bad, it gives u the chance of a hug by a wonderfull salsero ;)