Claire_Brummell
06-06-2005, 11:49 AM
Hey - this came about in response to a post on the DF site...thought you guys might find it interesting too...
I recently started dancing at a new club and asked one of the guys there to dance. Now I have very few inhibitions when it comes to dancing - as far as I'm concerned, the dance is just that - whatever happens between two people in a dance remains on the dancefloor. Yes I've had dances that have given me that spark of excitment that normally comes from flirting etc. But if it's anything more than that then that will proceed off the dancefloor, not on it. Anyway the guy I asked to dance was....very....full on to say the least the way I described it to a friend (not to be too crude, but it was the only way I could think to describe it) was it was as close to being sh@gged (please let me know if our non-english friends need a translation - but I'm pretty sure you can figure it out!! ) on the dancefloor as I've ever come - it was an incredibly sexually charged dance. I thought, you know what I'm just going to go with this - to give the dance and the music justice - I went for it and completely let myself go (not in a cheap way, just playing up to my partner, tasteful but making the most of a very sexy dance) - all the time I was thinking, I'll go along with this AS LONG AS IT IS ONLY A DANCE - if I think he's going too far or that there's more to it then I'll have to back off.
It was one of the most enjoyable dances I've ever had - and at the end unlike most people who give you a hug or a kiss for a great dance, this guy merely kept a respectful distance, tapped me on the arm and thanked me for a great dance.
For both of us it was about the dance, pure and simple - it was fun, frantic and fantastic - it was sexy because the dance and the music were - not because there was anything between us like that and it was great.
Just wanted to put the point across that you can dance like this and enjoy it for what it is without it being anything more than that and to be honest with none of the emotional rubbish that goes with it - it's often far better this way!!
I think we've all been there where the lines have crossed either in our minds or in reality and it can get very confusing. I absolutely think that people who have a passion for dancing can and do find passion with others who share their love for salsa (or any other kind of dancing for that matter) but I think that if something comes of it that it needs to happen off the dancefloor rather than on it - because it is easy to misinterpret the signs when you're dancing so intimately with someone. It's only when you're out of that situation that you get to be a bit more objective about it!! (Oh and it's not just guys - there are a lot of women who do this too!)
To be honest, I think that the newer you are to the scene the more likely you are to misinterpret things - because in a salsa club things work so differently to the 'outside world' - it is so easy to see things in a different way. I went to a non-salsa club on Saturday night (sacrilige, I know) with a non-salsa buddy of mine. We were dancing and having fun and there were a group of lads there who we got talking to - I had a bit of a boogie next to where they were and made some small talk with one of them who seemed a bit left out - generally had a good night. Anyway, my friend and I after a visit to the loos decided we'd had enough and were going to go. The guy I'd chatted to came and found me as I was getting my coat and said to me "Hang on - I thought I was coming home with you?" - I was STUNNED - not only had I barely danced with him - merely near where he was standing and encouraged him to dance a bit, I'd asked him two questions - what's your name and what do you do - I'd left without even bothering to say goodbye and somehow he'd taken this to be an invitation to a night of passion with me?! I had to laugh to myself - thinking back to the dance I mentioned before at the salsa club - comparably the two aren't even close - and yet Mr regular club thought he was well in, and Mr salsa club didn't even ask my name...!!!
I think that this just highlights the differences between the salsa and 'real' worlds and the mental shift people need to make when entering a salsa club - the longer you've been in the salsa world, the more you understand it and the less likely you are to mis-read people's intentions.
Either way a good rule of thumb is if they're interested, and you are, that there's nothing wrong with it - BUT if they are interested they'll follow up with you off the dancefloor and in a non-salsa environment AS WELL as on the dancefloor. If the only contact / connection you have is when dancing then the chances are then that's all there is to it....
JMHO
Wondered if anyone had experienced anything like this - had problems distinguishing between dancing and more etc?
Claire xx
I recently started dancing at a new club and asked one of the guys there to dance. Now I have very few inhibitions when it comes to dancing - as far as I'm concerned, the dance is just that - whatever happens between two people in a dance remains on the dancefloor. Yes I've had dances that have given me that spark of excitment that normally comes from flirting etc. But if it's anything more than that then that will proceed off the dancefloor, not on it. Anyway the guy I asked to dance was....very....full on to say the least the way I described it to a friend (not to be too crude, but it was the only way I could think to describe it) was it was as close to being sh@gged (please let me know if our non-english friends need a translation - but I'm pretty sure you can figure it out!! ) on the dancefloor as I've ever come - it was an incredibly sexually charged dance. I thought, you know what I'm just going to go with this - to give the dance and the music justice - I went for it and completely let myself go (not in a cheap way, just playing up to my partner, tasteful but making the most of a very sexy dance) - all the time I was thinking, I'll go along with this AS LONG AS IT IS ONLY A DANCE - if I think he's going too far or that there's more to it then I'll have to back off.
It was one of the most enjoyable dances I've ever had - and at the end unlike most people who give you a hug or a kiss for a great dance, this guy merely kept a respectful distance, tapped me on the arm and thanked me for a great dance.
For both of us it was about the dance, pure and simple - it was fun, frantic and fantastic - it was sexy because the dance and the music were - not because there was anything between us like that and it was great.
Just wanted to put the point across that you can dance like this and enjoy it for what it is without it being anything more than that and to be honest with none of the emotional rubbish that goes with it - it's often far better this way!!
I think we've all been there where the lines have crossed either in our minds or in reality and it can get very confusing. I absolutely think that people who have a passion for dancing can and do find passion with others who share their love for salsa (or any other kind of dancing for that matter) but I think that if something comes of it that it needs to happen off the dancefloor rather than on it - because it is easy to misinterpret the signs when you're dancing so intimately with someone. It's only when you're out of that situation that you get to be a bit more objective about it!! (Oh and it's not just guys - there are a lot of women who do this too!)
To be honest, I think that the newer you are to the scene the more likely you are to misinterpret things - because in a salsa club things work so differently to the 'outside world' - it is so easy to see things in a different way. I went to a non-salsa club on Saturday night (sacrilige, I know) with a non-salsa buddy of mine. We were dancing and having fun and there were a group of lads there who we got talking to - I had a bit of a boogie next to where they were and made some small talk with one of them who seemed a bit left out - generally had a good night. Anyway, my friend and I after a visit to the loos decided we'd had enough and were going to go. The guy I'd chatted to came and found me as I was getting my coat and said to me "Hang on - I thought I was coming home with you?" - I was STUNNED - not only had I barely danced with him - merely near where he was standing and encouraged him to dance a bit, I'd asked him two questions - what's your name and what do you do - I'd left without even bothering to say goodbye and somehow he'd taken this to be an invitation to a night of passion with me?! I had to laugh to myself - thinking back to the dance I mentioned before at the salsa club - comparably the two aren't even close - and yet Mr regular club thought he was well in, and Mr salsa club didn't even ask my name...!!!
I think that this just highlights the differences between the salsa and 'real' worlds and the mental shift people need to make when entering a salsa club - the longer you've been in the salsa world, the more you understand it and the less likely you are to mis-read people's intentions.
Either way a good rule of thumb is if they're interested, and you are, that there's nothing wrong with it - BUT if they are interested they'll follow up with you off the dancefloor and in a non-salsa environment AS WELL as on the dancefloor. If the only contact / connection you have is when dancing then the chances are then that's all there is to it....
JMHO
Wondered if anyone had experienced anything like this - had problems distinguishing between dancing and more etc?
Claire xx